To want to out her affair

[geordie30]

My friend has being seeing a man who is married to another friend of ours.
I found out by accident (saw them together) and she confessed what was going on . I told her it was out of line and that she needed to end it. A few weeks later she told me it was over however two days ago I saw his car outside of her house when I know my other friend is away with work. I was so angry ,why do people do this !!! Am I wrong to want to out them ??

What I'd do (and have) is approach the husband and give him a time limit to tell his wife, failing which you will

He'll come up with some ridiculous story for her of course, but at least it should cause her to start digging if she wants to - and you're covered because you'll have taken some action you can refer back to later if challenged

As someone who has been cheated on, the worst thing is knowing that people were talking about it behind my back and that I was the last to know.

You're in a tough situation either way OP but honestly, you should do the right thing for your friend and tell her. Even if it has negative consequences for you. That's what being a friend is.

I'd tell her but be prepared for her not to believe you and her husband will lie through his teeth as well.
People only believe what they want to.

I would be inclined to get the woman to admit it in a text to you that it is still going on. Then you have proof if you need it to show your friend.

And I wouldnt do it anonymously, I really wouldnt.

I wouldnt give the husband any sort of head's up or chance to tell her - he'll only make up more crap to try and cover himself/ keep her out of it.

At least if you tell her what you know it'll be the truth.

An anonymous letter is a truly horrible way to tell your friend. A friend of mine received one years ago and I saw the absolute devastation it caused. Of course the DH denied everything then she was left agonising about who in her life would be so malicious. Then there were people caught up being falsely accused of sending the letter. If you want to tell her have the courage to do it to her face.

Don’t give the husband the heads up, they’ll only hide it further. Is your friend still away, can you get another photo?

Very well said, @DragAndDrop!

Tell your friend that you will tell the other half if she doesn't stop completely or confess within a week.

Then do it.

I would not do it anonymously, you have done nothing wrong. Tell her you know she lied so you will tell your friend now because of it. Let them both feel the heat. Your friend deserves to know and the other 2 need to know they have been caught again.

Like most people that have posted I think you have to tell her. Simply say what you have written here and try to support her through it.

Never put the onus on a cheater to tell.

A cheater is a conman, an accomplished liar running a long con.

There is no limit to what they will do to preserve the con.

I once had a friend tell me about her affair expecting me to be pleased for her! I was horrified and told her I disapproved and thought she was treating her husband badly. She immediately cut me off and had me frozen out of our friendship group.

To this day I have no idea what lies she concocted about me. Any time there was the odd social occasion we were both at she made a point of making fun of what I was wearing, laughing at me, generally being poisonous.

I wish I had just told her husband and let him make up his own mind.

Crikey blimey what a situation to be in.
I could never forgive friends if they knew but never told me. I would feel like they were laughing behind my back.
DH once had an affair with a woman he worked with. Everyone in the office knew. I only found out when he finished it and she wanted to get her own back by ringing me and telling me all about it.
Never ever have I been so hurt demoralised and heartbroken.

Can't you 'arrange' for her to bump into her DH and ow when they are together?

Any update on this? Thinking of the poor wife who hasn't a clue.