How can I be in the top 5% of drinkers at 20 units a week?!

[Pooshy]

I've been tracking how much alcohol I drink since the start of the year in an effort to cut down

It's working and I think I probably drink about half as much as I used to, around 20 units a week on average. Still over the women's recommended limit of 14, but this is better than I was

However the app I'm using says I'm in the top 5% of drinker so that means only 5 people out of 100 drink more than me

Surely that can't be right... how many unit do you drink a week usually?

20 units is loads OP. I drink maybe half a glass of something once a year.

That was me. It wasn’t just ‘family admin’ don’t be disingenuous. I said that once the kids are in bed we have chores, family admin, a quick dinner and almost every day both of us sit down to do some more work and I really need to be in bed by 10 to be remotely functioning. And so no, I suppose I could drink wine while doing this but it isn’t enjoyable FOR ME. And family admin- pay bills, answer non work emails, stuff to do with our rental property, anything to do with school (aka produce a unicorn head overnight), sit down and book work travel and coordinate with DH and his on call rota, online food shopping, keeping track of DS2 and his hospital bills/health insurance, work out DS1’s music commitments for the next week/month/two days and who is taking him to what and when, and if anything needs replacing, paying for and I could go on. I am glad you are spared the tedium of ‘family admin’ though.

But the broader point I was making was that in my 20s sans kids I drank more because I had way more time and far less of these commitments. I now drink far less in my 30s because I don’t have the time or inclination with a toddler and a really hectic life. I then went on to say that in my 50s it might well be that my alcohol consumption will go up as it did with my parents. So right now I would pooh pooh a moderate drinking message because it doesn’t apply to my life (and would have pooh poohed it in my 20s for a different reason) but it doesn’t mean it won’t be relevant later. So from the point of view of what so many have called ‘high functioning alcoholism’ how do you tackle a ‘problem’ that isn’t constant through one’s life but waxes and wanes with life circumstances making it easier to dismiss as a problem? And there were others who admitted that their drinking patterns had changed over the decades.

There’s a fascinating AIBU thread about people’s work schedules and I was reading that along side this. I mean most people on that thread work so much harder than I do and have insanely long hours/commutes etc and most claimed to be in bed at a not dissimilar time to me. So it also raises the spectre of how quickly people were drinking this alcohol as well and again this ties in with broader societal questions about alcohol consumption and ‘norms.’

None for about 50 weeks of the year.

1. I agree with some PPs who note that a lot of heavier drinkers seem to mockingly disbelieve those who say that they drink far more moderately, or rarely.

I think this is partly as a defence mechanism - no-one wants to be an outlier or to feel judged - but I think the main reason that heavier drinkers don't believe moderate or rare drinkers is that big-drinking or binge-drinking groups tend to self-select:

Firstly, because one's attitude to alcohol and the acceptability of regular, excessive or problem drinking has been informed by their exposer to familial attitudes to alcohol as well as those of one's immediate geographical and social peers.

Secondly, because those people who don't want to write themselves off every weekend, or find the insistance upon pouring alcohol into every single social occasion tedious, will tend to avoid investing in relationships with those who do. Not everyone, and not all the time, but definitely as an overarching pattern.

E.g. My partner's friends, who mostly all went to the same two high schools and lived in the same or adjacent suburbs, all consider binge-drinking to be normal. It is unremarkable for them to drink 10-30 drinks in one sitting. I grew up with an extended family with many problem drinkers. When I first started seeing him, I hung out with them a few times as you do.

I quickly grew tired of the slurred-speech, the stupid roundabout conversations about nothing and their unpredictable, irresponsible, reckless, anti-social behaviour. So now I see them once every two years or so, if that. There was more to it than that, but it was a big part of it.

...Other lifelong friends dropped out of this group both before and after I showed up, presumably for the same reason.

1. To support their bias, a huge number of PP in this thread have appealed to the reality that people tend to underestimate the amount they drink, or minimise/outright lie about their intake.

And that's true - but by and large, the people that do that are going to be the heavy drinkers:

...Someone who has only 1 unit per month is just not going to feel the same pressure to minimise to '1 unit every 2 months' when self reporting, as someone who has 20-40 units a week might feel to self-report at '15 units a week'.

Similarly, a moderate/rare drinkers' likelihood of accidental underestimation is significantly lower on the face of it.

1. Well done OP on proactively taking such significant positive steps - it's a huge lifestyle change and that's not an easy thing to do.

To answer your question - I consider regularly consuming 20 units a week to be a lot.

I don't think it's unreasonable over a holiday period, or a month with a lot of birthdays and events.

It is a rare month that I would have more than 2 or 3 units of alcohol. Many months I'd have none.

2 units a year, at the most. My vices are other than alcohol.

@clairemcnam you are right I have no control once I've had that second glass. I freaked out after the first as I just wanted more. I just worked out I was probably drinking 40units a day my ex and me used to encourage each other too. I swear if I hadn't become pregnant at 23 my life would have turned out very differently.

Maybe two units a week these days. If I didn't have such early starts I'd probably drink more wine in the evenings

People don't know what a unit is on this thread...

^"If I was drinking 20 units a week there would probably be mornings I wouldn't be safe to drive." Good point. Are you driving the morning after drinking op? I think the answer likely yes. How much are you drinking the night before driving?

Personally I've never driven the day after drinking. Not worth the risk.^

The risk of what? It takes about an hour per unit for your body to process alcohol so on 20 units a week (assuming they are evenly spread) you’d be back at zero blood alcohol within 2-3 hours of finishing.

Honestly this kind of ridiculous hyperbole is just eye rolling. Drink, don’t drink. But having a large glass of wine is just not equivalent to shooting up heroin, however much some posters would like it to be. (And for the record I currently drink no more than 5 units a week as am breastfeeding - have been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 3ish years. Before then would defo have had around 20 units a week.)

Am also amazed at how little socialising posters on MN do. “Oh I’ll have a drink at my next night out in April”. What? Do you not have friends and family? Do you have people over to your house? Go for Sunday lunch occasionally? What do you do with your time if you never socialise???

These threads always shock me. I'm. In my 20s and have about 6 nights out a year ish. On those night I'll have about 4 double gins, maybe a bit more if its a 'big' night out. but apart from that I don't drink. So you've drank more last week than I have all year so far. Honestly can't get my head round people drinking every night of the week. What's the point?

Although, I'd say most people I know drink 20 units or more a week.

It's very easy to drink 20-25 units in a week and I imagine it is a very common level of consumption among people who drink alcohol, and a lot will have far more. In fact I started using the DrinkAware app because I knew my consumption had gone up and was too much and in my first week it was about 25 units. Now I average 10 units a week.

And currently I'm on a diet and have lost a stone. I know exactly how much I drink and what I've eaten, as it's all on an app!

About 3-4 units a month normally. I'm not a big drinker so will maybe have a glass of wine or cider a few times butbwirh no frequency.

On holiday, I'd probably have a couple of drinks most nights so would peak at about 14 per week but that's two weeks per year.

I'm in the 5%

Wow. The sanctimonious pearl clutchers are out in force on this thread.

Drink or don't drink, but honestly 20 units over 7 days is not a drink problem. I drink less than that, but wouldn't judge someone drinking 20 units. DD is 18 and can't drink a lot as it makes her sick, but all her student friends drink loads more than 20 units a week.

TBH I struggle to believe that teenagers are drinking less these days.

I socialise plenty, it just doesn't revolve around alcohol. I meet friends for lunch most weekends on Saturday and Sunday, nobody drinks alcohol. I can happily go to the pub for a night and drink Diet Coke.

I don't like the effect alcohol has in me, after a glass or 2 I just want to go to sleep so it ruins a night out. Anymore than that and I have a headache on top of it and I just hate the dizzy feeling which again I seem to get on small amounts.

I don't really even like the taste of it. Don't like wine, beer is ok but I prefer it mixed with lemonade. I like a nice pornstar martini but I'd never bother making one at home.

Pre DD I would go out every Friday and Saturday and easily drink 20 units or more per night. It was a very regular thing. I also used to go to lots of functions where I was often the only person drinking vodka and the barman would tell me I'd done a bottle . In the military I'd say that was pretty normal.

During pregnancy and after I just stopped. I've never been an @home drinker so having a child and no babysitters on hand meant I rarely went out. 14 years on and it's the same (although I don't need a babysitter now!)

I only really drink at parties, holidays and Christmas. So maybe 4-5 times a year? My friends seem to be the same. I don't think I'm that unusual any more. I know more non or rare drinkers than I do those that drink every night.

@LonicetaJaponica you can bury your head in the sand if you like but 20 units a week is too much and risks health issues.
Significant ones

Raised alcohol intake is associated with plenty of things besides liver disease-
Heart disease
Stroke
Increased cancer risk for various cancers incl breast cancer which is significantly raised in even moderate drinkers
Dementia

It’s all there
And yet people like you insist on calling it pearl clutching if it’s discussed

20 units a week is too much.
There is no need to drink that much.
Alcohol has been become an acceptable social norm and freely available and it has caused people to hugely normalise the health risks.

I might have a g&t once a week, I have to be up really early and evening drinking is no longer compatible with that for me at my age!

But I did dry January without really noticing and could give it up for Lent no bother. I think after so many years pregnant/breastfeeding I lost the habit/taste for it.

So no they are not functioning alcoholics, so dont say they are, instead talk about health benefits of drinking less.

I think if you would struggle to go a week without alcohol or feel a physical need for it, particularly after a hard day, then you have an unhealthy relationship with it.

Alcoholism: addiction to the consumption of alcoholic drink; alcohol dependency. If you're using alcohol as a coping mechanism then you're an alcoholic. Wanna check? Have a dry week this week. If you find yourself more irritable than usual, find it difficult to go without, experience withdrawal symptoms etc then you're dependent on alcohol.

It’s not pearl clutching to say you don’t drink much.

Some people do, some people don’t. I used to drink a lot, now only rarely as my lifestyle completely changed after I had children.

Agree with the point a pp made about people who don’t drink much will have an accurate picture of what they drink in a week/month/year whereas heavier drinkers can lose track.

"It’s not pearl clutching to say you don’t drink much."

I agree, but it is to say that someone drinking 20 units a week has an alcohol problem. It isn't healthy, I agree, but I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist if someone was drinking that much. We live rurally, and I usually drive, so I do tend to stick to around 14 or 15 units a week.

Seriously, I would say that DD's student friends are drinking 50+ units a week. Now that is way too much. And, how do they afford it?

I think if you would struggle to go a week without alcohol or feel a physical need for it, particularly after a hard day, then you have an unhealthy relationship with it

^this

I ashamedly put myself in this bracket while a part of me thinks/hopes it’s pearl clutching.

Too often there are people who egg others on to drink and drink. It’s unnecessary. I hate going out and getting told I’m a lightweight because I don’t want to have shots after a couple of glasses of wine. Or have my glass topped up when I’m not looking because that’s the thing to do.