To think that baby-tracking apps aren't the work of the devil?

[NewAccount270219]

I've just been reading this Guardian article - www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/mar/02/apps-that-track-babies-and-give-data-to-tech-firms-parents - on baby tech and found it really interesting but parts of it a bit overblown. The comments are pretty much without exception 'all modern parents are idiots and you should be able to raise a baby on pure instinct'. It's made me feel a bit guilty, or at least a bit uncomfortable, that we use an app to track when DS (eight months) sleeps - nothing else and no wearable tech. We were doing it on paper but that got annoying and fiddly. Still, though, while I instinctively feel defensive about it, maybe we should stop? I thought we were actually quite go-with-the-flow, baby-led parents - no Gina Ford here! - but this article on how using apps raises parental anxiety has, ironically, really made me doubt myself!

What's the purpose of tracking or noting sleep and feeds? Genuinely interested. I never did anything like this when my daughter was a baby. Had no idea you were even meant to?

I haven't been noting feeds or sleep for my DS - should I?! He feeds when he's hungry and sleeps when he's tired. I didn't realise I was supposed to put him down to sleep or feed him at certain times. Am I doing it wrong?

I'm a tracker! Those saying there's no need you are absolutely right really. We started because in those first few sleep deprived weeks we kept being asked how many nappies and how much milk is she haing and we barely knew what day it was so had no idea. Tracking meant we could tell them. Baby is now nearly 16 weeks. I like tracking nappies to know if she might be constipated, to know if shes had enough milk to reasonably expect her to sleep most the night, I've started tracking sleep I know she's getting tired when awake 2 hours and know if its been a good day for naps or not. The app reminds me to change her if it's been 3 hours too. I find tracking helpful but it isn't for everyone.

I didn't realise I was supposed to put him down to sleep or feed him at certain times. Am I doing it wrong?

Nope.

MiaowMix Sun 03-Mar-19 09:34:30
"What's the purpose of tracking or noting sleep and feeds? Genuinely interested. I never did anything like this when my daughter was a baby. Had no idea you were even meant to?"

You're not "meant to" but it can be helpful if your baby has a problem, e.g. a poor sleeper or not feeding enough. I let my dd feed when she was hungry and sleep when she was tired and she ended up in hospital with malnutrition. The more malnourished she got, the more she wanted to sleep rather than feed, because feeding is exhausting.

It can also be helpful if you are getting the idea that your baby is e.g. an abnormally poor sleeper and the app shows you that actually he is sleeping quite normally.

Not everybody has normal babies. The OP mentioned she had some problems.

It must be a personality thing. I had babies who were the most horrific sleepers and would never just sleep when tired, but seeing that written down would make me feel a million times worse.

MiaowMix and IWantChocolates no you don’t have to. If it’s never been something that you’ve thought to do then you’ve probably had babies that never made you feel like you needed to.

I also allowed my DD to feed when she wanted (virtually constantly) and sleep when she wanted (never ever). Obviously the constant feeding was difficult to cope with - I never refrained from feeding her when she wanted, but seeing slight improvements on the app gave me faith and helped me deal with it. Never sleeping clearly wasn’t good for her so I used the app like the OP is - to try to work out when I would have the most success in getting her to nap. Time it right and I’d have an easy ride. Wrong and it was an hour long battle. For me it wasn’t about imposing a routine, it was to help me work out how best to deal with my awkward, hungry, non-sleeper. Turned out my instincts were probably right but as a sleep deprived new mother it was helpful to see the evidence to back that up.

It’s not wrong not track things like sleep and feeds, but it also isn’t wrong to do it if that is helpful to individual parents and babies. I feel there have been a few quite judgy / dismissive comments on this thread about why people would track sleep / feeds (not meaning the two posters I’ve responded to initially). If you can’t see why you would want to then that is because of your personality and the personality of your baby, not because your parenting skills are superior

Yes this too. DD had to be woken to feed (advised by midwife due to weight loss) those first few weeks and so the reminder that it had been 2 hours since last feed was useful! Don't need it so much now admittedly but if shes crying then I can see how long since last feed so can think how likely hunger is the problem.

He feeds when he's hungry and sleeps when he's tired. I didn't realise I was supposed to put him down to sleep or feed him at certain times. Am I doing it wrong? confused

No, I think you're just luckier than me! As I said, DS does not 'sleep when he's tired', despite people telling me he would since birth (which has always made me feel shit).

I agree that it's probably something that only makes sense to you if it's a bit of an issue. I've never tracked his feeds, either breast or bottle (he was fully breast fed to six months then mix fed when I went back to work) - he's always fed well and followed his centile line pretty perfectly, so I don't feel any need to track his eating, it's clearly fine. I wish I felt like that about sleep too and could be one of the smug 'ooh why don't you just puuuut them down when they're tiiiiirrred' mums!

My baby was a terrible crier and sleeper when she was really little. No smug parent here. I was at my wits end. But it wouldn't have occurred to me to note feeds/sleeps. Never even heard of this as a thing, that's why I was asking.

Most of the mums I know in RL don’t use them MiaowMix, so I don’t think it’s a massive thing. Don’t feel like you’ve missed out

NewAccount270219 - agree that not all babies will just sleep/eat without an issue. But also, not true that apps will inevitably help if you had a rough time with sleep/feeding either. My tracking app just turned me into an anxiety-ridden mess on top of a sleep-deprived one, and led me to focus on the wrong things re feeding (length of feeds, which was 'abnormal', compared to baby generally putting on weight and developing fine).

@KTCluck my baby is almost a teen now so it's kinda moot anyway. I'll move on.

I used a breastfeeding app for the first 9 months, as I could never remember which side I'd feed from last.

Also use (still using it at 11 months) the huckleberry sleep app as we had the same issue, if she gets slightly overtired it's hell on earth trying to get her to sleep. The app made us to try about half an hour earlier and she went straight off to sleep on her own with no fuss. It was a lifesaver!

We did for a few months, it was great! Midwife told me to keep an eye on time between feeds but in my sleep deprived state I could barely figure out if it was day or night. It actually really helped with anxiety and also spotting patterns that helped with sleep.

We also have a monitor pad under the mattress and we love it again for peace of mind. No false alarms and it helped us sleep in the first few weeks.

It's never a substitute, we'd never dream of doing anything risky on the basis she has a monitor, or trust an app over common sense. It's just helpful technology. I was also told to keep a food diary at one time. So much easier to enter it into an app that can analyse the data for me than write it all down.

Mine fed when they were hungry and slept when they were tired, and funnily enough they were hungry and tired at regular intervals. By tracking for a few days now and then I know when to expect to be feeding him and when I can take him for a walk and expect him to nod off in the pram. I also am fairly sure about when he’s going to poo so I can often go out without any changing bag. If you have anxiety I would guess that you do everything in an anxious way. I am the kind of person who has to remind themself to worry so for me it’s just a tool.

Different things work for different people and some people seem to have a difficult time accepting that.

Never used an app aside from ones with updates about milestones and such. I couldn’t be arsed inputting nap and sleep times or when he’d breastfed or had a nappy change- I know such apps now exist. Obviously some parents find it useful but I tend to just go with the flow when they’re babies.

Tracking is very helpful, for feeds when tiny and for sleep till.. they are 20 and sleep through? It helps me see if my terrible sleeper is improving, if there is any link Between day time
Napping and night time, that he should be ready for a nap soon so if i want to get out if the house I should rush etc etc. Good for everyone who doesn’t use them, no need to tell the rest of us we shouldn’t either. Some of our mums would scribble in a notebook : 11:10pm - 12;30 am sleep , 2:00am - 3am , 4:30- 4:45 am , now you can press a button.

your post reads like you are saying sids may be related to parenting. Which is very shitty.

Well, SIDS is related to parenting, in the sense that things you do can increase and decrease the risk, no doubt. That said, we have no idea what caused the two tragedies in question. My first thought is that there was probably an underlying health problem related to shared genes. Poor, poor woman, my God.

No RTFT but I track poos and feeds. I have a really bad sense of time and it's helpful you know that yeah it really has been an hour since you fed her last you dope. Poos can get a bit scary and messy if she hasn't for ages so it's nice to have the last time notes so I can be aware that the next one may be a disaster one because she hasn't for a day and a half.

I also track when I've expressed to I know how of the bottles in the fridge are.

I'm very feed when she needs feeding but noting it down helps me see a pattern.

Tbh I'm not sure I care that a company knows I feed my DD 15-20 times a day for about 1hr total and the trade off is I feel more confident in looking after my baby (but I could live without it)

I used one, probably beyond 12months. At first it was about having answers for the questions the midwives/HVs ask in the first couple of weeks, but it did become a bit of an obsession (and in fact I was diagnosed with OCD when my baby was about 5 months old). It was about trying to maintain control, I guess. It was of course completely illogical.

Of course baby trackers aren’t necessary. Neither are any of the health and fitness trackers marketed to adults, but they’re hugely popular.

I track my menstrual cycle on an app - not nevessary and women have been me striating for thousands of years without tracking, but I find I’m not naturally in tune with myself and otherwise it takes me by surprise and I cannever remember when my last period was if asked by a medical profession. Several colleagues at work have fitbits to track how many steps they’re walking each day and I think they track sleep and heart rate etc too - of course they’re unnecessary but if the technology is there some people clearly find it interesting to measure these things.

I don’t think baby tracking apps are different to tracking apps for adults. Obviously if a parent became completely reliant on their baby tracking apps and was completely unable to feed their baby or put them down for a nap etc without consulting their phone it would be a problem, but as a tool to help look for sleep patterns or guide a routine etc it’s certainly no issue to be noting things down.