To think that baby-tracking apps aren't the work of the devil?

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I've just been reading this Guardian article - www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/mar/02/apps-that-track-babies-and-give-data-to-tech-firms-parents - on baby tech and found it really interesting but parts of it a bit overblown. The comments are pretty much without exception 'all modern parents are idiots and you should be able to raise a baby on pure instinct'. It's made me feel a bit guilty, or at least a bit uncomfortable, that we use an app to track when DS (eight months) sleeps - nothing else and no wearable tech. We were doing it on paper but that got annoying and fiddly. Still, though, while I instinctively feel defensive about it, maybe we should stop? I thought we were actually quite go-with-the-flow, baby-led parents - no Gina Ford here! - but this article on how using apps raises parental anxiety has, ironically, really made me doubt myself!

I read this article yesterday and it really resonated with me because I had massive anxiety in the first few weeks of DS’s life and the app I was using 100% made it worse. I’d be mad panicking because DS had only had 5 wet nappies and the app said he should have 6 a day etc. DH made me delete it after a couple of weeks. I still wrote down in a notebook when he fed for a few more months, but otherwise no other tracking. Sleep I just aimed for no more than 90 mins awake time - no need for a tracker for that, just look at watch when he woke up.

I used to let DS sleep on me a lot when he was little and I’m positive that made him nap better

DS slept exclusively in a sling in the day until he was about four months, so I think I gave him sleeping on me a pretty good go!

I don't want to have a go at you in particular, but I think the responses I'm getting show why I find this a bit stressful - lots of 'you're neurotic and paranoid and shouldn't need this because your baby should just magically go with the flow' and then a smattering of advice implying what I'm doing wrong! It's like you're expected to have a both perfectly flexible and unroutined baby who also sleeps and eats brilliantly - which I think some babies just naturally do, but DS isn't one of them! But then if you try and nudge towards routine you're paranoid and neurotic...

Incidentally we didn't start tracking on an app until DS was six months and I went back to work - it was DH who started it because he kept forgetting when DS had woken up but he found having endless bits of paper around annoying - I did it in a notebook instead, which I started when his sleep went to shit around four months. I suspect people have fewer criticisms of the notebook, but I'm not sure why!

I wasn’t giving you advice. I was telling you my experiences as you are telling us yours. I also said that what I did isn’t for everyone. You stated yourself you feel a bit defensive about it.

I used a tracker in the early days because as a newborn and still now at nearly 2 DD was a constant feeder and a terrible sleeper and I wanted to see if there was some sort of routine to her feeds / naps. There wasn’t, but I did find the app helpful in confirming that. It also helped when I worried that she wasn’t getting enough milk as I could see she how many dirty and wet nappies she was having for reassurance (yes, I could have just counted and remembered but in that sleep deprived haze that would have been a struggle!). I found after a while the app was making me anxious as DD was sleeping far less than what google suggested she should be. At this point I stopped using it and stopped googling.

I have seen one mum who seemed to use a similar app to extreme, getting really stressed because she’d forgotten to use it earlier in the day so didn’t know which side to feed from, and didn’t know how long baby had fed for. Her baby was about 6 months so to me that seemed a bit excessive and the app appeared to be making her more anxious, however I have no idea whether she was even more anxious prior to the app and it was actually helping her, what challenges they’d faced in establishing BFing, or whether her baby had health problems that made this stuff important. None of my business really.

I can see how people could become a bit obsessed with technology and it could be detrimental. I can equally see how they can be very helpful, like mine was to me in the early days. So YANBU OP. Each to their own and all that.

The one I use just records, no advice and it was free, so no different to a notebook, I just tend to have my phone rather than a pen. I do have a scientific background so I suppose it appeals to me in that way, and it's more curiosity than any need to shoe horn into a routine. If I was in any way inclined towards anxiety I think it might not be helpful though

Routine helped our sanity during the really stressful time of new parenthood. And it turns out that dd (now 15) is a (lovely, organised, capable) control freak obsessed with routine and has to know what’s happening when, so I guess that was why it helped. Different babies need different things, and it helps if they have parents who don’t flip flop but don’t rigidly pursue something that’s not working.

It’s not something I’ve ever done (currently on my third baby) and it seems anxiety inducing to me, but each to their own. I’ve had terrible sleepers and I think seeing how short their naps were, how many times they woke at night and how many times they fed would cause me to have a breakdown!
I have a friend who tracked every single feed (duration, which side fed from), nap and nighttime sleep from birth until their child was 2.5. She is very neurotic and overthinks every single thing.

We wrote everything down for about 4 weeks until I was fully in the swing of things then I kept forgetting!

I think with any app we should be concerned about what happens to our data and how companies use it/sell it. I'm an adult so can consent to this, my child cannot, it's my job to protect him.

Oh and we still implemented a routine without me ever tracking anything, so just because you don’t track doesn’t mean you ‘go with the flow’. I just had rough ideas in my head of when they should be sleeping.

I thought it meant location tracking your baby too!

I never would have guessed someone would have invented an app to record sleeps and things! I instinctively feel it would increase parental anxiety not lessen it - I mean is there an app for each stage of their childhood leading to the false premise that you can actually control your children?

Tracking doesn’t sit right with me and my DH, for us it felt like it would detract from enjoying our baby and going with the flow. We both know if she does something out of the ordinary.

OP we did awake times too. I wasn't religious about tracking them but I did note mentally or on paper when he woke up so I knew roughly what time to make his nap. My brain was mush until he was 18m old so it helped me loads.

Can’t people just write it all it down on a bit of paper
It’s an over the top invention if you ask me - like a baby wipe warmer

The main thing for me is that tracking doesn't change anything. My baby is 4 months and I can tell you from gut that he naps at 10ish, 2ish and 4ish if at home and in his bouncer. He goes to sleep anytime in the car or pram. He demand breastfeeds and is going through regression so wakes up every 2 hours at night. That's about all the info I need. I may go as far as listing foods to try when weaning!

“Soontobe60 you may not have meant it, but your post reads like you are saying sids may be related to parenting. Which is very shitty.*

That’s what it sounded like to me too

I read this yesterday. Mine are 8 & 4 now so way past the baby stage.
I'm on the fence - on the one side if feeding massive amounts of data informs future guidelines/averages etc then I can see the benefits - although skewed sample based on parents likely to use it.
But if it primarily used for targeted advertising it's shitty to play on fears of parents at a time where many are super vulnerable.
I know people who had endless breastfeeding notebooks, so can see the convenience, but i can see how it can become an obsession & at a time when people are sleep deprived they may become reliant on it & not think for themselves which I see as potentially dangerous.
Like sat nav & driving into a field
My dad says anecdotally that the old boys at his golf club all got fitbit & stopped listening to their bodies because the machine told them they were ok & delayed Drs visits and I see this as the equivalent.
Personallly I'd have been equally useless at keeping track electronically as I was manually - my natural lack of discipline with anything would be heavily reflected but each to their own.

Can you get wearable tech for babies? The way I read your OP suggests that, although you don't do that, it is available. This can't be right surely! Like a baby fitbit?

I used a tracker for feeds until breastfeeding was established which was about 2 months - nightmare time with tongue tie, breast refusal etc. Loved it as I could clearly see the progress we were making and it gave me a confidence boost that he was getting enough.

Still use it to track his sleep as his sleep is terrible. It has helped (a bit!) in terms of seeing the tiny bits of progress we are making and did help me to adjust timings etc as I could see the patterns that my sleep-deprived brain might have missed just on paper.

I always have my phone with me and it's as simple as pressing one button on the app one handed - far, far easier than faffing about with pen+paper everywhere I go. My memory is shocking are the best of times so can't rely on just remembering. It won't be for everyone but I like being able to see at a glance how he has slept/fed etc.

I got mine in a routine ASAP, I suppose that's similar to an app. It was about me and baby knowing what to expect and when. Saved my sanity!

Yes, you can get special socks that measure o2 levels.

OP, ignore some of the judgier comments here. You do what makes you feel comfortable.

I tracked everything with my twins - every pump and how much, when and how much they are, when and for how long they slept, nappies. They were both in nicu, recording these things was normal for us, and I was worried I’d forget when one of them last had a wet happy or milk if they became unwell. Their sleep and feeds were completely random, no pattern to them at all for months and I was trying to figure it out (to no avail).

Did it make me more anxious? Probably. I definitely felt like I needed to do something at the time.

I did have the kind of baby where "tracking" was necessary because she was failure to thrive and definitely not capable of going with the flow. A too casual approach meant she lost weight. This was in the days before apps, so I just used an clock. But if anything made me anxious it was all the people telling me that she should just do things naturally and any problems were caused by my paranoia.

I used an app with DS to track feeds up until about 3 months old. I started when I started to worry that i felt like DD was feeding continuously began to bother me - recording the data showed me I was right, but that actually things were slowly starting to improve on average just too slowly for me to notice without an app. I stopped tracking once he settled into a pattern of feeding every 2 to 3 hours.

I then went back to it at about 4 months when I started to struggle with DS's sleep. Like you, very variable night sleep meant that although he had a nap pattern it shifted by hours each day - and I struggled to keep track when I had to keep it all in my head. Again, once he settled into a more predictable pattern I could keep straight in my head I stopped.

I don't think there is a problem using an app as long as you have a specific problem you are using it to help you with - which is exactly what you are doing. If it's tracking just for the sake of tracking then that's where I think it can be problematic.

As someone who tracks their own heat rate activity and sleep I'm fine with tracking feeds and sleep with an app. Yes the data may be used to make someone money but I'm benefiting from it and I find it helps with keeping to a schedule

I totally used a baby app for the best part of my son's first year. I never used it to get him into a routine but just to see if there were any patterns to his sleep. He was such a poor sleeper that we did everything to try and make sense of it. If it helps, it helps!

My boy was also extremely constipated so making a note of his poos was also handy. It really is no different to jotting things down on a bit of paper.