AIBU to not want an oven that is smarter than me?

[WhereDoesThisToiletGo]

Just had a first draft of possible new fancy kitchen.
Can anyone explain to me why the fuck one needs a WIFI enabled oven and hob?
It's just one more feature that I will never ever get to grips with.
The manufacturer's YouTube video shows happy smiley people turning on their dishwasher while sitting on a beach!
Turn it on before you leave the house or wait until you get home!

Has anyone got a Smart appliance that is actually worth the inflated price?

Bloody tumble dryer is in cahoots with bastard oven and refuses to start.
Do you think the kitchen planning chap did something to them when he was here last week?

@bibbitybobbityyhat maybe I just need a better oven as it usually takes about 20 minutes to pre heat it suitably.. it also doesn't have a timer (though we didn't install it and it isn't really a reason to redo a less than 5 year old kitchen).

I got a washing machine that is smarter than me, and now my husband does the washing. He loves the wifi /50 000 settings.
Consider it if your partner likes electronic gadgets.

Ask yourself whether you use all of the current settings on your existing appliances.
I've just had a new kitchen and appliances, nothing even fancy but I still only use 2 dishwasher programmes, 2 washing machine settings and cook mostly at 180/200c etc etc Apparently my oven has a defrost setting, I won't be using it.

I am blown away by my induction hob though, now that is magic!

But does it beep, greenpop?

Not gonna make the cut here if it beeps.

I love and use my Oven's auto set ahead timer, it's great, so not sure why I would ever need wifi? I turn it on, on delay, before I go out!

And if you are out, and want the oven on, you aren't there to put anything in it, you would have had to do that before hand so back to the auto timer, very very useful. Not sure wifi oven fills a gap in the market as you are only turning on a empty oven......

And I'd never turn a hob on not there, recipe for boil over disasters! Which I am quite capable of doing when I am IN the house, no need for more of those when I am out of the house!

Like my washing machine with 13 stupid settings. I use 3, max!

Oh yes! Mine has a million different settings, but you can only select one at a time, so 'Small load', 'Dark load' and 'Cottons' are 3 separate options! What if I have a small load of dark cottons?!!

I love useful tech. I like the idea of being able to turn the heating on when I’m 5 minutes from home so the house is warm ready for bath time or to be able to make sure all the lights are off when I’ve left in a rush, but there’s so much unnecessary shit out there it’s unreal. Like a WiFi fridge. Why?! What benefit could that possibly have unless you feel the need to FaceTime it to ask it whether you’ve got any milk. Honestly if the damned thing has WiFi why can’t it do the shopping itself?! And a WiFi shower?! Why?! I can’t imagine that ever being handy other than to piss your husband off when he’s in the shower and taking too long.

My favourite part of my ancient kitchen that I hate is my oven. It has knobs which you can see from space. It has an oven and a grill and it doesn’t have a clock. I not longer have to look at the damned thing flashing at me after every time the useless electrics in this house trip it out. I’d love to have a timer feature on it, but if that’s the price I pay for not having to take a course in applied engineering to alter the clock then so be it!!

Gas. Ovens.
They are wonderfully simple. And also the hobs, at least, work in a power cut. (Some clever person seems to think the ignition not working means you shouldn’t let the gas go into the oven itself. TBF I always got anxious lighting ovens with a match - especially if I had to do a catering one, because, well, [ir]rational fear of accidentally cooking self - but it was handy...). Plus you can play with cooking things that need different times & temperatures at the same time for the same length of time if you know what you’re about.

Am really scared about my tumbledryer finally giving out. It’s older than I am. I think possibly it survives by draining the life-force from other whitegoods & its level of energy inefficiency must be shocking, but I don’t want to have to deal with some jumped-up whippersnapper with actual settings beyond full/half load & the timer dial.

(I think my 30s hit me so hard they pushed me several decades through though at the same time I love other tech & am totally at ease with it...)

We've just bought a new oven, not WiFi enabled but has a trillion different settings. It has one for pizza, one top and bottom, a baking setting, a roast one with meat thermometer which will stop cooking when the joint reaches temperature etc and that was one of the simpler ones

Yy, MarieVanGoethem, I live in fear of my Simple Appliances™ dying.

My venerable DVD player went funny the other day and my heart sank – not just because of the money. I've coaxed it back into life cleaned it, and am praying it holds out.

New fridge/freezer replaced the old Amana with ice maker after a chip got stuck in said ice maker and I thought it was broken. New fridge lights up like a runway so I got the book out and turned that off. Digital display is a nightmare and I have to have the child lock on for the grown up sons who lean on fridge and turn freezers off. I hate technology

I started reading this thinking I’d quite like a WiFi oven but realised I just need ones that heats up in 5 minutes. The one I have takes about 20, it overheats as well, the ignition on the gas burners sometimes goes mad and keeps clicking, and it has solid doors so no peering at cakes rising. It’s a unique size, slightly smaller than a standard range so we can’t replace it unless we remodel the kitchen, and would have cost the previous owners about £3k. It’s a pile of shit.

WiFi kettle - only worth it if, like my SIL, you’ve trained your partner to respond to the kettle boiling itself by making you a cup of tea while you recline elsewhere in the house. WiFi-enabled husband, win.

I'm just hoping the gadget hackopalypse happens early on and crashes the early adopters big time, while we can still get non-Wifi goods in the shops.

Otherwise it'll happen when Wifi shit is default and almost everyone has hackable goods. Plus there'll be fuck all to replace them with.

(Sorry, early adopters, but better you than everyone, and them's the breaks when you rush for obviously risky products.)

Can you imagine the chaos if a malevolent (but not murderous) hacker decided to get into all these appliances?

Your milk would go off - so no cup of tea.
Your oven would burn the pizza or switch off halfway through roasting a chicken.
Your washing machine would open its door right in the middle of the rinse cycle.
Your tumble dryer would shrink all your clothes or wait until you left the house before trying to set them alight.
The boiler/shower would switch to cold, then, hot, then cold again just like when you think the OH is taking too long or has been a dick, so you turn the kitchen tap on and off
Your front door would unlock at random and refuse to open for 45 minutes when you were trying to leave the house for work.
The freezer would send Amazon orders for individual peas, rather than a bag of frozen peas, so you'd end up with 500 bags of Birdseye's finest.
The TV would automatically record all but the last ten minutes of every show although SKY appear to do that already
And the cat flap would let in next-door-but-on'es stinking entire Tom whilst your own little sweetie gave herself concussion from trying to go out for a dump, so the kitchen floor would have stinky cat turds and piss all over it each morning.

Anarchy - we'd have anarchy.

As it's not advisable to have appliances running when you are out of earshot of your smoke detector I find them actually it irresponsible - tumble dryers in particular. Mine have no timers (except oven which I cannot work) I manage fine. (But I'm also a Luddite who prefers gas to induction)

Yeah, all this putting ovens on when not home.

So, no small children in your household who might have stowed something in the oven? Or teenagers/adults who might have left a bit of pizza in there?

At least if you're there, you're likely to smell it – even if you didn't do the last-minute check before switching on (which I learned the hard way).

Sooo much Internet of Things shit seems to me to have been designed by single people who live alone and simply cannot imagine a household involving... other people.

You don't need these daft 'add-ons' - they are there for the salesman to make a profit. You need a cooker which cooks - tell him this facility is not needed and it may bring the price down.

We all need to say a big no to this unwanted idiotic nonsense.

Your instincts are right, OP!

I have a Miele tumble dryer that is wifi enabled, and I cannot for the life of me see the point of this feature. Since it does not obviate the need for me to take the washing out of the washer and put it in the dryer, which requires me to be present with the machine and thus able to press the button to turn it on, it is completely useless.

The only use I can see for a wifi enabled oven would be if you wanted to turn it on during your commute home, so that it was pre-heated when you got in. However, decent quality electric ovens don't take long to get up to temperature these days, and I'd always be too nervous about the fire risk to do this anyway.

The higher end Ikea appliances are really good value. My £500 oven has a whole host of really great features on it that I could only find on more expensive appliances elsewhere.

I'm away 4 days a week and it would actually be quite handy to be able to load my dishwasher before I go then turn it on so it's finished for when I get back, if I turn it on before I leave, by the time I get back all the dishes are kind of clammy and need re-washing or if I leave it dirty and put it on when I get back, they're all smelly and festering. First world problems but y'know, it would definitely be handy.

I have a smart thermostat and I can turn the heating on before I get back so it doesn't take all evening to warm up and house that's been empty for four days. Ditto smart lightbulbs for making it look like someone is home.

The other plus is I've put a motion sensor in the downstairs loo coupled with a smart bulb so the light doesn't get left on by accident. Revolutionary!

Although I'm well aware that if my internet goes down, I'm completely screwed...

Most of these things can be worked manually without the internet, so I'm not too worried that I wont be able to cook dinner if the bloody Virgin Media internet goes down.
But it's just one more thing to fiddle with for - to me at least - no real benefit.

Motion sensitive lights have been around for years, without going via the additional, vulnerable loop of the internet.

Random eg:
www.amazon.co.uk/Sengled-Motion-Sensitive-Security-Equivalent/dp/B07F71G2F4/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?tag=mumsnetforum-21

A lot of these WiFi things need you to do things before you walk away to find your phone.ie sort the washing and put it in the machine,put pans on hob,food in oven.So turning the mob,pressing button makes more sense.
As to beeping things,a mute button would keep everyone happy.I don't care that my washing machine,tumble drier is finished.I can hear if the kettle is boiled but I like the microwave and oven beep(though my current oven doesn't anymore).
I like the idea of a car finding WiFi thing,though from my experience of buying parking tickets via a phone does indicate that WiFi in multistory carparks is problematical.And to be able to have the heating on a frost setting when we are away for a few days in winter and turn it up so that we could come home to a warm house would be nice.
My next oven must be self cleaning,have cantilevered shelves(no more burnt wrists)and a 180°c knob and I'll be happy.

and got a text message. From my fucking car, telling me it was in the hospital car park!!!

According to a notification I just got, mine is parked outside. It isn't, my husband has it at work to day and is just off the phone (from work). Thinking of looking outside to see if it drove itself home.