AIBU to not want an oven that is smarter than me?

[WhereDoesThisToiletGo]

Just had a first draft of possible new fancy kitchen.
Can anyone explain to me why the fuck one needs a WIFI enabled oven and hob?
It's just one more feature that I will never ever get to grips with.
The manufacturer's YouTube video shows happy smiley people turning on their dishwasher while sitting on a beach!
Turn it on before you leave the house or wait until you get home!

Has anyone got a Smart appliance that is actually worth the inflated price?

I work in a technical job. Since we got the latest TV package thing I can no longer turn it on. Seriously. I haven't turned the TV on in about five years, no exaggeration

Me too, though 5 years is an under exaggeration in my case. Some people look at me disdainfully. I know I could do it if I wanted to, I’m not incapable. However the effort involved in working it out is greater than my level of interest in doing it.

I actually have tears running down my face at this thread. So funny.

Nothing useful to add as I too use only the basics.

The most technical I get is having a camera that can be operated remotely so I can tell at the 'raptors (dogs).

YANBU. I hate appliances with umpteen functions that I'm never going to use.

Or where you need the instruction book to work out how to use them.

We were once 'babysitting' a friend's sick husband while she went away. She had a new oven - I couldn't fathom out how to work it and went mad for 20 minutes trying to find the sodding instructions.

I bought my mircrowave because the Which? review marked it down for not having enough pre-programmed settings. I like my appliances to know that I'm the one capable of abstract thought therefore I'll do the thinking and they'll do as they're told.

I wrecked a lovely slouchy jumper I'd actually knitted in chunky pure wool (70 quids' worth!) on its very first wash. Having hand washed as per yarn instructions, I put it to spin in the machine.

Only unlike my old one, my super-clever new machine with umpteen settings doesn't have a simple 'drain and spin' function, only a 'rinse and spin' which you have to faff with to turn off the rinse function. But I evidently mis-faffed and my lovely jumper came out like felt. 🙁

As for TVs etc., I've told dd more than once that if she wants me to do childcare I need written instructions for the 3 effing remotes needed to put on the Peter Pan DVD or Fireman Sam. Yes, I know you've told me before, but I can't remember how I did it 3 weeks ago.,

And will they please keep the remotes out of reach of Gdcs (2 and 3) so at least I can find the bloody things? I don't need another session of finally finding one of them behind the sofa, with batteries missing - God knows where they were.

We have smart plugs in our house for the front door light and the heater in ds’ room.

Dh wanted to get them for the radiators in the living room. But they’re set on a timer so no need.

He is adamant that when we get our new kitchen we’ll be getting smart oven fridge kettle etc. I’ve pointed out they’re only smart if they do the entire job themselves.

Novelty to be able to boil kettle from living room using phone. But it doesn’t fill itself with water or make the team lively to have a dishwasher which you can control from the beach but does it load and unload itself and put away?! No.

@ememem84 turning the thing on and off is the easy bit.
Does this smart kettle add the tea bag, pour in the milk and deliver the mug of tea to the controller on the sofa?

Sadly no.

It’s like those soup makers. Great idea in theory. But I’ve still got to peel and chop the bloody veggies.

@ememem84

Soup maker? Some technology is good, some is just the latest unnecessary trend. Surely a normal pan is a soup maker?

Yanbu - We had a new kitchen last year and the technological bollocks available is quite staggering.
The only bit we invested in was a fancy new American fridge freezer which I love but it beeps incessantly when the door is left open (after about 5 seconds too) drives me mad when I’m cleaning it or stocking it up,
However it has got a little screen on it and you can change the temperature in one of the compartments so you can either use it as a freezer or extra fridge storage which was handy at Christmas for he wine!

So I'm yet to find anyone who bought an oven with a PhD and loved it.

Yeah the soup makers like a blender which cooks then blends your soup. It doesn’t chop stuff. Or wash up after itself though.

I agree. A pan is a soup maker.

When looking at new fridges, there was one that connected to the WiFi, but was scared of it surfing on the internet and looking at dodgy stuff while I was at work.

WTF!
My existing oven (only 2 GCSEs in woodwork and RE) has just tripped the fuseboard.

Would a Smart oven App have recognised lack of power and sent me a text message?

What's a yoghurt setting?

As far as I'm aware, it turns the oven light on which emits enough heat to make the oven the right temperature for fermenting yoghurt - i've not tried it out.

@wheredoesthistoiletgo

Surely an oven with GCSEs in Woodwork and RE is already being clever enough to recognise you don't have your mobile on you and turning all your lights off instead?

I think existing oven saw me perusing kitchen plans, and promptly blew its element.
Bastard.
New kitchen (with possibly better oven with a couple of B grade A levels) will not become a reality for several months, so I'm going to have to pay to get old oven fixed in the interim

Personally I'd quite like to remote access the oven, there have been quite a number of times I wished I could pre heat it on my way home..

I'm a big fan of two settings. On. And Off.

I'm two much of a technophobe to deal with much more and I've got better things to do than to start learning

I would absolutely buy the WIFI versions, Just because I might be inspired one day and be able to utilise that function.

I remember an excellent post thread once from someone whose fridge thought it was Jewish. I'd rather like kitchen appliances who had that kind of spiritual depth.

I'd definitely choose soul over WIFI.

I have a WiFi washing machine that allows me to start the cycle before I get home.

Benefits:

1. Clothes won't get musky sitting there damp in an enclosed space all day if I'm out.
2. I can transfer my clothes straight to the dryer the moment I step into the house. This way, I won't have to wait for the full wash cycle to run its course, allowing me to go to bed heaps earlier!

Constantsarechanging - really? You can't spare 5 minutes for your oven to heat up? Get home, switch oven on, hang coat up, take shoes off, say hello to other people in your house, go to the loo, wash hands? Surely that all takes 5 minutes?

I think people who want the wifi versions must have more reliable than wifi than me.

I have a washing machine that allows me to start the cycle more or less any time I choose. And dishwasher. And oven. It's called a timer. You don't need wifi to do it.

I have a washing machine that allows me to start the cycle more or less any time I choose. And dishwasher. And oven. It's called a timer. You don't need wifi to do it.

I never know what time I'll be home though - it varies within a 6 hour time frame depending on if I'm working late/going out for dinner etc. So the WiFi thing works for me.

@WhereDoesThisToiletGo

I think existing oven saw me perusing kitchen plans, and promptly blew its element. Bastard.

I've similar sentient appliances that have thrown a wobbly when I have been perusing new models. they are watching