Why don't men get 1 year paternity leave?

[Catinthetwat]

I was just wondering what people's thoughts were on this?

I think it's hard to defend unequal access to parental leave. This is important for men, women and for children. The only argument against is an economic one. Is that a good enough reason?

The government are currently looking into extending the 2 weeks paternity leave to around 12 weeks I think - which would be a start.

So, men should be given 1 years paternity leave with pay and benefits equal to women - aibu?

With shared parental leave, women are into obliged to take 2 weeks (or 4 if they work in a factory). Fathers can take the rest (so nearly a year). I don't see the issue.

@user1497787065
are you for real. Do you know how much is spent on end of life.
Do you know how much of the budget goes on pensions? Versus stat ml

I mean really !!!???

I'd hate to not be able to take the full year maternity

I'd hate to not be able to take the full year maternity

Exactly Seline. Because it's already yours isn't it? Image having to give your spouse half your holiday leave. 🤔

Exactly Cat. You don't get equality by removing what women already get.

How do you know it’s what women want. Do you speak for all women

*Meandwinealone

How do you know it’s what women want. Do you speak for all women*

What?

Funny how many use the excuse of men can’t breastfeed yet we are in a country where bf levels are at their minimum and bf after x amount of months is regarded as weird.

I write this as a mum of a nearly year old baby who still is breastfed and who went to work at 6 months so my husband could stay at home using shared paternity leave. I see the bond they both have and I know we did the right thing and how much is needed that men can have more leave.

We have a couple currently sharing the maternity / paternity leave, in theory - the way the system is now set up the father could take the majority of leave if that suited the couple. Doubt we will ever get to the point where both parties get to take that amount of time together though!

ILoveMaxi

I wouldn't want to force women to take two months, but rather protect their right to take it without any negative consequences for their employment. So - they'd have the right to that time, but also the right to return if they want to.

When I had DD Mat leave was 6 months but I went back 'early' as I felt ready to, and it meant I could do a staged return. I think the experiences of pregnancy and childbirth, let alone parenting, can vary so hugely that it's difficult to make meaningful legislation that would suit everyone.

They already have it, it's called shared parental leave. If your question is why men don't choose to take it up, you can take it up with them but the answer is they don't want to as they can't be bothered looking after babies.

I remember reading/listening to some stuff last year which suggested it was because of the low level of statutory pay. So women have been putting up with shit maternity pay for years (completely besides having their career and earning prospects fucked for years later), but oh woe betide when that’s all the poor men get 🙄

Strange thread.

My OH is on SPL at the moment as he gets full pay, there as I was on statutory. He will end up taking more time off than me as he had paternity leave then two weeks holiday.

I'm currently at my 4th company where it is normal for men to take some parental leave when they have a baby under a year. The first company I was at when this happened was before 2015. The managing director just facilitated the guys who wanted to do it. One of my friend's also had this happen to him at a similar medium sized company. His direct boss was unhappy but the higher ups thought it would help him stay with the company.

What interests me is other people automatically assume your child is in childcare when actually they are with their dad. The only reason you are rushing back is because you know how hard it is for the parent at home.

Taking a year’s leave will destroy your career. Only one of us can afford to do that. There’s no point in both of us trashing our careers, we need money to live on in the long term. Not to mention that statutory paternity pay is a pittance, we’d be losing thousands every month and we couldn’t afford to survive and pay the bills for that year.

What I find wonderfully hypocritical 🙄 is that despite the ‘shared parental leave’ act, it’s still 100% down to the woman who gets it.

Good. She’s the one giving birth. Her right to take maternity trumps everything else IMO. God knows men hold all the cards in pretty much everything else in the workplace. Tough luck for your colleague.

Taking a year’s leave will destroy your career.

Depends on the career, surely? I know this is true for a lot of lower-paid jobs where you're starting out, and also for very, very high-paid ones where you're in huge demand, but I don't think it is true for everyone.

Perhaps the parents should be able to choose who takes it and to be able to share the leave. A years allowance which can be split or used to best suit the family situation.

@Tworoundabouts, you sound blissfully unaware of any of the issues surrounding SPL.

Have you read the thread? Are you aware that only 2% take it? Any thoughts?

I don't think the government should even have to reimburse the company for stat pay, i think the company should fork out the full cost and be regulated to provide a minimum amount though. You don't see the government paying a companies sick pay or holiday allowances, so i don't see why this should be any different.

I personally think women should get 3 months full pay after birth, 3 months 75 pay and then a stat allowance.

Men should get one month off full pay and then 2 months 75 pay, then stat allowance for the rest 9 months.

A year is the maximum though. The point is to enable men to take more leave. Like women not everyone would take a year, it would depend on their particular circumstances. The point is to give the choice.

And, regarding "trashing" careers, the point is to equalize that so that men and women both have similar impact from having children. To give more importance to childcare and to change how society sees it. It would become normal for parents to take leave and so not be seen as a big deal.

How do @meandwine?

I’d had a large wine with lunch when I posted 🤣 but I don’t see how, even on reading it back, but I’ll stand corrected But for clarity I think what men get now is more than sufficient.

I’d support more leave for parents with premature babies however, I understand there’s a campaign for this just now. It must be so awful to have to go back to work when your baby is possibly still desperately ill in hospital 😪

'What I find wonderfully hypocritical 🙄 is that despite the ‘shared parental leave’ act, it’s still 100% down to the woman who gets it.'

Oh how fucking awful. So a woman who needs time to recover from birth and get to know the child she has been carrying for 9 months can't be forced back into work straight away by an abusive partner. But THE POOR MEN

What about those of us who cant take shared parental leave because we aren't entitled to it?

@CatInTheTwat I change my username regularly but my DP works for an organisation who gave him and other men shit for trying to claim it as per their equality policies. It's only because we questioned them in a certain way they backed down in our case. The organisation basically announced the policy and then seemed upset a cohort of men wanted to actually take it in full or in part as they thought no man would take it up, so have been very difficult. I suspect some men have been deterred as a result.

I personally work in a sector that is male dominated with skills shortages. If some companies want to keep a member of staff due to the skills they have, they then offered them more paid time off with shorter working weeks and more flexible hours for up to 18 months. However I know this isn't offered to everyone. So while my friend was offered it other guys in the company weren't. A small part of it was due to them not asking but a bigger part was due to parental leave policies not being openly known. (There were no women.)

Yeh no benifits of breastfeeding at all

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/about/benefits-of-breastfeeding/

Oh and you’re not the only one with professional experience in medical research....

Breastfeeding is the biologically normal way to feed human infants. It has been part of our evolution since the dawn of mankind.

It is optimum for infant physical, neurological, emotional and immunological development. I hate this MN pro-“equality” anti SAHM stance. I use equality in “” on purpose because this is not what equality should mean, equal doesn’t have to mean exactly the same.

Why are women so quick to annihilate the very important and essential role of mothering???? Human infants show an innate preference for their mothers smell, sound, touch, face. Her heart and respiratory rate regulates the babies, her body regulates the baby’s temperature. The oxytocin that the mother produces from bonding with a BFing her baby flows into the baby’s body where it helps it’s brain to grow.

I’m not saying there doesn’t need to be a change in the way that caring work is valued by western society and clearly more men need to get involved for the benifit of father-child bonding. But I don’t think essentially replacing the role of the mother is the way to achieve it.