Okay, so my dad's brothers kids, I was in my teens when they were born. I live 50 miles away from the paternal extended family.
As soon as I was able to drive, I'd regularly drive down to visit my family at least 2-4 times a year, especially as my Nan was very dear to me. (She died in 2014 sadly).
I had a very difficult childhood and NC with my mum, so my extended family mean to world to me and I was very close to my dad's brother and sister growing up and used to stay with them in the school holidays.
Anyway, 18 months back, my aunt's daughter had a baby, so I arranged for myself and my DP to pop down and visit the baby, thinking it will be good to go see my uncle, his wife and family too, as they live round the corner from my aunt.
A day before I was due to visit, my sister decided that she, her DH and 2 DC would drive 3 hours to see the new baby on the same day, so she could see me too. Then our dad caught wind of mine and my sister's plans and decided to ravel 2 hours to visit as well.
Next day, my aunt was over the moon to have us all visit and my Nan's sister popped round and it was a house full. As there was so many of us, my aunt did a little buffet spread, esprcially as we'd all travelled.
I then asked my aunt what time my uncle was coming over, she looked surprised and said, she'd not invited him as initially it was just me and DP coming over, the plans changed the day before to everyone visiting and she'd been so busy that she didn't think to invite my uncle and his family.
No biggy, so I call my uncle, explain that we are in town and can we pop over to see them. He's a bit short with me and explains it's too short notice, so I apologise for the mix up and say I look forward to seeing them at my 40th party in a few months.
Next think I know, couple of days later, my uncle's 19 y/o unfriends me on FB. Surprised as we've always been close, I message her and she goes into a tirade about how I've broken her dad's heart by organising a BBQ with my aunt, getting the family together and not including him. I explain there was no BBQ and how the whole misunderstanding took place. Which fell on deaf ears.
My 40th arrives, my uncle, his wife and teenage daughters don't come. Say they are going away. Fair enough.
Then the younger of his daughters unfriends me on FB too. I message her to ask what's going on and she said she unfriended everyone in the family who didn't wish her a happy 18th birthday. Yes, I missed her birthday, I work three jobs, the days ran away with me and I clean forgot. I said as much, apologised and wished her a belated 18th, she then got high and mighty saying she didn't care how busy my life was, her life is busy and she always wishes family happy birthday. I pointed out that she didn't for my 40th (not that I care) and she changed the subject and started going on about the fictitious BBQ and how I broke get dad's heart and made him cry! I explained to her as I did to her sister what actually happened, but she brushed it off and said, that was why they didn't come to my 40th!
She started going on about how important family is and I pointed out that if it wasn't for me dilligently visiting every few months that I would never see them. The last time they visited was on my 30th.
So I said, look our aunty's daughter is getting married soon, let's clear the air. But now she's blanking me and the wedding is this month.
My uncle obviously holds a grudge, my cousin's blame me and hate me for upsetting their dad and won't accept any olive branch.
I'm worried if I call to clear the air then it might cause s row before the wedding. But if I don't, there will be an atmosphere at the wedding. WWYD?