Sally challen and malice aforethought

[jessicawessica]

Whilst i have every sympathy with her 40 years living with an abusive and coercive husband, i can't help wondering how the court of appeal missed one vital issue.
She didn't go to her ex husband's house, get into an argument, find a random hammer lying about in the kitchen, then beat him to death. she already had the hammer in her bag when she arrived at her ex husband's house.
Ergo malice aforethought. Or am I missing something?

@Korsm, i’m mystified that you can have observed your mother’s abuse and end up with that victim blaming conclusion. The only person Challen is any danger to is herself. She’s spent 7.5 years in jail, that’s enough.

@Alsohuman well I’m not saying I’m right so be mystified. What I’m saying isn’t really any different to anyone else posting on here with an opinion on what should happen to Challen. I’m saying I don’t believe she’s not a danger to society.

Of course, I understand you’re entitled to your opinion. Who do you think she’s a danger to? That’s a genuine question, by the way.

Your response is common amongst DC whove had a abusive df, the DM really does get a lot of the blame. The psychodynamic is such that the df as an abuser is always the last one for DC to pour their hatred and anger out to because he holds all the power.

Unfortunately it's also a common myth that women somehow 'bring on' abuse (because they're I'll or have pds). It is just that though, a myth.

Men are only abusive because they have the beliefs of a deeply mysogynistic objectifying hatred of women, that the woman somehow 'belongs' to him and its long time overdue that ceremonies involving a handing over of a woman from a df to a dp should be stopped, all these subtle but powerful undertones in society that reinforce any watching and just accepting rather that arguing against such weirdness!

Your DM will not 'turn' a man abusive, korsm which I am getting a sense of from your post. She might not be able to receive clarity for herself, and will continue to seek to please and align herself with him, he has made himself the pivotal centre of her world and she buys into it to the exclusion of all else. It's also sadly likely she can blame DC for having made their abusive f abuse them! This is someone indoctrinated, and brain-washed and psychologically and emotionally dependent upon their abuser. Not someone to trust with another's baby. A shame your f isn't in prison.

I think in a case like this it is worth remembering that once she attacked him, or if he realised she had a weapon, she had to kill him, and she must have realised this, even if only subconsciously. Imagine the consequences for her if he had survived the attack.

She would've been the one dead

I often wonder this when the 'reasonable force' argument comes up.

I used to worry about a male breaking in and what you would do to render him harmless, if it's just you and your DC in the house alone; you certainly don't get a 2nd go at it as a woman, you only get one shot at it, so to speak, or you're the one that gets the full brunt of the retaliation male on female.

@Smotheroffive I don’t blame my mum. I do think she’s not right in the head and wouldn’t want to be involved in a. Relationship with her after my dad though. The things is Sally Challen was according for the press doing things like counting his viagra pills checking his phone and emails, if a woman came on here saying I’m checking on my dh all the time counting his viagra pills etc that would make me think somethings wrong with her as well.

Oh and @Smotheroffive I detest my father and don’t speak to him so clearly I don’t fit your psychoanalysis of me the anonymous internet poster! You’re generalising and thank goodness it won’t be you on the jury!

victim blaming

this is what makes me uncomfortable about this case. are we victim blaming the man? did being an abuser mean he deserved to be killed like this?

No one is saying he deserved to have been killed. But he should have been locked up

are we victim blaming the man?

No. We’re blaming him for the damage he caused her. Which means she should have been charged with manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility. She is still blamed for her actions, but the context is taken into account.

I suspect the world would be a safer place for women if every abusive man had his head stoved in by the woman he had been abusing.

korsm completely zero psychoanalysing going on from me, as I have no idea who you are or what you are about. I think though, you have decided to be rude to me, and I think that's out of order.

I followed the words you used about your DM, you said those things, and I responded with standard misconceptions and victim-blaming narratives, sadly all too common

I just went on the words you used. It's not possible to accurately, safely and professionally attempt to psychoanalyse someone like you say, and what I've said, would never be the result of such an attempt.

@korsm thank you for that analysis and I can totally see where you are coming from. @Smotheroffive posts you will find are full of misandry and make any reasonable conversation. Impossible, it's black and white if your male you're wrong!

My point is that (putting sex of person aside) that the level of abuse in this case was so extreme, that her mind was damaged and that's what made her snap. It's possible that it could happen the other way round too, female damaging make. I hear what you're saying and can also agree with that, which makes my point quite useless, so I suppose I'm saying that every case would seriously need to be investigated and quite possibly 99% would be charged with murder.

You've certainly made me re think this, especially as you've dealt with it first hand.

You do, in your posts,clearly blame her.

That's all. Nothing complex nasty or devious.

she let it all happen, etc

Don't be blaming me! Start name-calling and such utter tripe

Perhaps you could tell us what I've dealt with first-hand as you have told us, so you must know best?

Really strange

@Smotheroffive I was referring to @korsm experiencing first hand not you!

Ah, well that makes sense then! I was truly wondering! @howwillwedeal