Do you let your DC do this?

[jcmayj]

If at the dinner table or out for a meal with family, do you let your DC watch things/play on their tablets whilst you eat?

When My eldest was little (he's 16 now) we didn't have iPhones and the like then. I would give him some paper and pens to sit sit and draw if we were in a restaurant with others and he was bored.
In fact many restaurants still give colouring stuff out to kids. Sitting drawing not much difference to sitting playing a game on a phone on silent really imo.

^^JMO by the way

I just don't understand how parents who do this think their DC are going to learn to sit nicely, make small talk etc. when in public. You have to put in the grunt work when they're small, surely? Otherwise you'll be taking monosyllabic 15 year olds glued to their phones to restaurants (and I've seen plenty of those). I just find it hard to believe that you can stick an iPad in front of a kid for years and at the end of it you get a fully functioning sociable adult who's fun to have a meal with.

Flame me if you want, sorry but I think it's our job to teach our kids how to behave in public and enjoy each other's company without the need for screens.

I went out for a coffee with a friend, and she gave her child her phone turned up so loud that I could barely hear her sat next to her! I suggested she turn it down a couple of times but she refused! I won’t be going out with her again!

Paper and pens usually but I don’t really care what mum next to me does with her kids. If mine played up I’d give them an iPad in a heartbeat, or if I was meeting with a friend to discuss something important. As it happens though we rarely eat out because nowhere can grasp the concept of cross contamination

I just don't understand how parents who do this think their DC are going to learn to sit nicely, make small talk etc. when in public. You have to put in the grunt work when they're small, surely? Otherwise you'll be taking monosyllabic 15 year olds glued to their phones to restaurants (and I've seen plenty of tho

No one is going to be unable to speak because they watched cbeebies on an iPad when their parents went out.

DD (2) usually colours while waiting for food or between courses. We sometimes do allow her something on the phone if it's a leisurely Sunday lunch with others and we want to chat. But only after plates have been cleared and with the sound off.

It's our way of trying to balance teaching her how to behave at a table with still wanting to enjoy meals out with friends.

I do occasionally let DS2 (6) play something on his tablet (with sound off!) while we wait for food, if I know it's a place where we'll be waiting quite a while. But otherwise, no. And certainly not when the food arrives. I didn't do this with DS1 (13) as tablets weren't a thing when he was little, I'd get him doing some colouring or something if he wa bored waiting. But both my DC are very able to make conversation over a meal, I have had compliments on how sociable they both are and what nice manners they have.

I would say no generally. However, there are odd times when it might be acceptable but not as any kind of regular thing - just literally once in a blue moon kind of thing. Generally something like holidays, in an emergency, as in, it'll buy you (and fellow diners) an extra 10 minutes whilst you finish your drinks, pay and pack up in peace.

I usually pack a small activity book, basic crayons, small jigsaw etc for smaller ones. But there have been times for youngers I will deliberately not take anything and definitely not for the elder ones (7+) as they should be able to sit and talk without needing other entertainment (even crayons and paper) at the table.

I wouldn't judge parents for it though. I've had some very demanding times with overwrought DCs when I would have dearly loved to put on the iPad for 20 minutes. Where I think it's sad is if the parents have never even tried going out without the iPad and packing some better activities such as activity books, sticker books etc to help pass the time between courses instead.

We try to avoid it but if it's a very long affair, adults chatting after dinner etc we let them watch videos on the pad after they've eaten if they sit quietly at the table.

Ready to be crucified! But I can't see the harm .

@seline
🤣🤣

One DC with AS. Others NT. All older now, so I was dealing with this stuff before tablets, phones etc - so, no, I didn't. And I wouldn't now, either.

Believe it or not, people had children with additional needs and took them out with them for meals etc before screens were invented. Hard work, but so is all parenting.

Also to add - I would literally never have the volume on to the degree it would be audible to the next table. It's either games (mild ones, preferably a fun maths one or something) with no volume or if it was something to watch then I keep an eye on the volume like a hawk. I hate hearing kids iPads at volume and wouldn't inflict it on anyone else.

I really couldn’t give a toss what anyone else does regarding this as long as it’s not disruptive to others around them. Children have different personalities and sometimes ( I’m my case when DS was younger!) it’s the lesser of two evils - have a mad 4 yr old or let them have an iPad/ device. My daughter never had a device and loved eating out.

No, but I do take colouring things and sticker books and let him do those? He’s only 2 so he doesn’t have much to add to the conversation!

I really don't get how some folks spend their time negatively judging others. As long as they use headphones, I personally wouldn't give a toss if someone let their kid have a tablet or phone at the dinner table. Whatever works for them. Thr kid could have additional needs, not like social situations, or the parents might need a break. As long as it doesn't disturb others deciding their behaviour is "unreasonable" is totally out of order.

For real we never had them
At the dinner table when we were young so Why now? We all Learnt to sit and it didn’t hurt us from Learning .

Nope. 4 year old and 2 year old. They sit and chat while waiting on food. It's a treat to go out to eat so they're expected to behave in an appropriate manner.

God, I sound like my mother!

No issue at all with what others do as long as they're not disturbing anyone but sound on is a definite no!

One thing I've noticed a lot recently is adults in our work canteen watching stuff on their phones with the sound on, which is really annoying! (Not necessarily young people, either, so not people who've grown up doing this!)

At home No.

While out, not while actually eating. But before meal and after they've finished, yes.

They have to take their headphones though, and they must be quiet and sit still.

We do it as DS has autism and eating out can be quite an ordeal for him, so it helps him regulate and keep calm. DD is allowed because its not fair for DS to be allowed and her not.

Ds literally wouldn’t have got out in the last 18 months if it wasn’t for having the “security” of his iPad.

He may look “normal” but as well as being autistic his problems include anxiety and an eating disorder. One of his ‘safe’ foods is chips from his favourite place locally. By taking his iPad and headphones he can relax enough to be able to access this for a short time.

Absolutely not, no electronics at the table. Not at home, nor out and about.

Yes I let my children have tablets when we're out. Not when we're physically eating but before and after if they want them. The volume is down and we don't force them to have them, usually if they're tired or getting hungry to try and distract them. We do actually talk and interact with them too! I don't give two hoots what other people do to be honest. Who's not to say the parents just needed half hour of no tantrums and wanted a bit of peace and quiet and that's the only way they could get it. Who am I to judge. It's so easy to sit and judge on a snap shot of someone's day.

Yes but only with headphones. Carry a set in the car.

No phones or tablets at meal times

@DustyMaiden I assume you are being facetious, right?!

@slangback So, when at home you ask DC to eat dinners in silence?