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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU in thinking 3 children is not ‘a large family’

82 replies

Randomposter · 01/03/2019 12:08

I see it a lot on here and sometimes with friends,
I wouldn’t even consider 4 children particularly large.
5+ yes. But 3? definitely not.

OP posts:
siestakey · 01/03/2019 14:50

3 children + is large to me and certainly not what I'd be interested in spending my life doing.

I think 2 would be my max tbh. I only have 1 sibling and turned out fine :)

Quintella · 01/03/2019 14:55

If someone told me they had a large family I'd be expecting them to have at least five kids.

HoppityFrog3 · 01/03/2019 14:56

@siestakey

3 children + is large to me and certainly not what I'd be interested in spending my life doing.

What does that even mean? Confused

FancyPantsMcGhee · 01/03/2019 15:03

HoppityFrog3 I was going to ask the same of siestakey. What do you mean, and was it meant to sound so sneery?

HoppityFrog3 · 01/03/2019 15:04

@Quintella I agree 5 kids is a fairly big family. 3 kids isn't.

Omzlas · 01/03/2019 15:06

IMO 3 is almost large but 4 definitely is. I'm one of 3 children and I have 2 of my own.
Most of my friends have 2, only 1 friend has 4 and none have 3

Purpleartichoke · 01/03/2019 15:07

3 is large.

ChristmasArmadillo · 01/03/2019 15:07

I think surely it’s somewhat regional. Where I grew up 3 was small - very small, even. 5-6 was average and more than that was considered large. 3 is much more average where I currently live and “large” probably starts at 4. I have three and people here assume we’re done whereas people at home keep asking when the next one is due.

HoppityFrog3 · 01/03/2019 15:10

@Fancypants

HoppityFrog3 I was going to ask the same of siestakey. What do you mean, and was it meant to sound so sneery?

Not just me then! It does come across as 'eewww, who would want to waste their life having more than 2 kids?'

FWIW, I have 2, but have several friends (and a couple of cousins) who have 3. I also have a pal who has 4, and a cousin who has 4.

Lovely families all of them. What a weird thing to say 'I wouldn't be interested in spending my life on more than 2 kids.' As I said, wtf does that even mean?! As you say, it sounds sneery towards people with more than 2.

hibbledibble · 01/03/2019 15:11

4 children is large to me!

Longdistance · 01/03/2019 15:12

Well, anymore children than the two eyes in my head is large to me.

Confusedbeetle · 01/03/2019 15:15

I had 4 it felt a bit large. Not as large as the ten grandchildren I now have

Rubusfruticosus · 01/03/2019 15:17

These days in the UK two children is average, so one child is a small family, three or more is a large family. It has changed over time.

FancyPantsMcGhee · 01/03/2019 15:20

I was one of 6 and was always begging my mum to have more Grin it never felt large to me as one of the kids but now I have my own I'm in absolute awe of how my parents managed, and all they achieved in their personal and professional lives too. I have two, and hardly manage to take a shower. My friend has 3 and has published a book a year for the past 5 years. Just... How...?!

siestakey · 01/03/2019 15:24

@HoppityFrog3 oh shit sorry it wasn't meant to sound rude, just that I literally didn't want to look after lots of kids iyswim

Nothing against big families (though they do scare me as I only have 1 sibling😂)

@FancyPantsMcGhee Definitely not sneery, sorry!

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 01/03/2019 15:25

I'd say 3 is average and 4+ is large. I have four and everything is non stop school/ doctors appointments. It takes planning and preparation to make family life run smoothly so I would say I have a large family. Three kids felt a lot less stressful than four, even though it was only one extra child.
Also, most other families I know have 2 or 3 kids, I hardly ever see anyone with four or more.

HoppityFrog3 · 01/03/2019 15:26

@siestakey

Fair enough !! Grin

Wasn't sure what you meant that's all. Smile

siestakey · 01/03/2019 15:29

@HoppityFrog3 I realise now it probably sounded dismissive, 2+ kids scares me tbh which is probably why it sounded sneery! (God I hate that word, it even looks ugly!)Grin

FancyPantsMcGhee · 01/03/2019 15:30

Ah fair enough. I am defensive of big families as my experience was so positive and yet a lot of people's attitudes are openly negative and rude! I also find the idea of having a large family scary even though I grew up in one... Grin

Quintella · 01/03/2019 15:36

Mrs Radford has probably given birth to three babies this week alone.

CookPassBabtridge · 01/03/2019 16:26

On here it doesn't seem large but in daily life I don't know many more people with more than 2.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 01/03/2019 16:30

Tbh the largest families tend to be at either end of the demographic spectrum.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 01/03/2019 16:31

Quintella 😂

BuildingBackUp · 01/03/2019 16:44

1 - small family
2 - average family
3 - larger side of average family
4 - large family
5 - very large family
6+ - holy fuck you maniacs

Original poster
Randomposter · 01/03/2019 16:46

BuildingBackUp 😂

OP posts: