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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to freeze DD’s hamster?

336 replies

SandyDrawsBadly · 01/03/2019 09:33

I came downstairs on DDs Birthday to find that Wonder Woman the hamster was dead. Stupid fucking hamster

I didn’t want to upset DD on her birthday so didn’t tell her before I dropped her at school. I doubled checked when I got home in case it had been sleeping, but this was one cold dead stiff hamster and it’s red eyes were all grey, so it was definitely dead.

I didn’t want to ruin her birthday, but I didn’t want a slowly decomposing hamster in the warm living room either. so I popped it into a freezer bag and hid it underneath the frozen veg out of the way. I got her out the next day, defrosted her in the cage and “discovered” her death the next morning. Two days post birthday.

I was telling my friend but she said this was ridiculous over protective parenting.

So, was I unreasonable to freeze the hamster and has anyone else done stuff to save upset as I can’t be the only one, surely!

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 01/03/2019 11:04

Its threads like this that are the reason i love this site!

Margot33 · 01/03/2019 11:05

I honestly dont understand the negative comments on here. Of course you don't want your daughter to discover her pet died on her birthday! I think you did a nice thing. Anyway all the funeral homes and morgues are basically freezers!

DishingOutDone · 01/03/2019 11:07

OP. You are the sort of person I'd count as best friend material based on your parenting and quick thinking. Well done.

When our first gerbil died my DDs were still young enough to get relatively upset, I didn't have to freeze them but I did notice they started to go manky within a couple of hours so I know what you mean about decomposing. Toast Wonder Woman with a nice glass of Wine tonight.

Limensoda · 01/03/2019 11:08

Sounds like one of those sitcoms where an adult tries to cover up the death of a pet. I didn't know people did it in real life. Bonkers.

RiverTam · 01/03/2019 11:08

Sandy (just seen your name, didn't realise you were the OP!) - can we have a SandyDrawsBadly cartoon to accompany this tale? Please? Pretty please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!!

Stompythedinosaur · 01/03/2019 11:09

My mum once froze my pet rabbit (deceased, of course) as I was away on a school trip and she thought I would want to have a burial when I got back.

It's slightly mad but came from a good place.

frenchonion · 01/03/2019 11:10

It's totally sensible!!! Good thinking. Why are people so appalled?!

Georgiemcgeorgeface · 01/03/2019 11:13

Perfectly reasonable IMO. I did similar with my DCs guinea pig but fortunately it was winter and I was able to leave the body in the garage for a day as not to spoil birthday with death!

KMoKMo · 01/03/2019 11:15

Absolutely what @TheSheepofWallSt said.

This is truly excellent, and I think one of those stellar example of the way we can go a bit bonkers when navigating young kids and life stuff.
Good for you for being ingenious and 100% safeguarding birthday joy.
And do ignore all the bitchy comments suggesting you’re unhinged - its a perfectly logical solution to a tricky situation

I think you handled it brilliantly OP and I’d probably have done the same. I totally don’t agree with replacing dead pets.

Spiderbanana · 01/03/2019 11:16

My rabbit died when I was a kid. Mum burned the corpse in the aga and I didn't notice for a week Blush

In the scale of things people do to make sure their kid has a perfect birthday, it doesn't seem that crazy.

It is a lot more effort than I would go to but I applaud you for being a more diligent mum than me Grin

BettyDuMonde · 01/03/2019 11:17

Ha! This is parenting out of my playbook.

Honestly, no kid needs to remember birthday X as the ‘year my hamster died’ so I think you did a good thing.

I would probably have sent the Hamster away for taxidermying and then presented it to my kid on their 18th (you have to freeze for around 3 weeks before posting) but that’s my problem, not yours*

*actually, I already have my daughter’s 18th present planned. When she was 3 we were tickle fighting and she kicked me in the mouth with such ferocity that two teeth ended up permanently wobbly,, and I had to have the extracted. Not yet decided if they will become a pendant or earrings, but I definitely plan on having them gold plated for her.

TheresACatInMyLaundryBasket · 01/03/2019 11:17

Your daughter didn't notice the hamster was missing for two days? Poor animal. Don't get any more.

TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree · 01/03/2019 11:18

Until you realised you put a frozen sausage back in the cage and the hamster in last night's bolognese?

AhhhHereItGoes · 01/03/2019 11:19

Yeah I'd have done this too to be honest.

I wouldn't buy a new one as its dishonest (whereas this is only temporarily dishonest to save the child's feelings). Also once the child gets older they'll notice how odd Mr Whiskers is as he has been alive 6 years.

Lindtnotlint · 01/03/2019 11:20

I love this. Saving it up as an idea for when we have a dead pet birthday incident.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 01/03/2019 11:21

Nico I seriously hope your dh has never cooked you a surprise meal...

NutElla5x · 01/03/2019 11:24

Stupid fucking hamster
Lol I love this and think your idea was genius and loving rather than ridiculous and over protective. Well done op. Star

Limensoda · 01/03/2019 11:26

It wouldn't have crossed my mind not to tell my kids if their hamster had died, birthday or not, but then I was a terrible mother I suppose. Confused

PreseaCombatir · 01/03/2019 11:27

Hahah that’s mental 😂😂

BettyDuMonde · 01/03/2019 11:28

Now I’m thinking we need a bigger freezer, just in case similar circumstances arise chez Betty...

Our dog weighs 32kg.

Omzlas · 01/03/2019 11:35

I'd have done the exact same thing OP, you're not weird or batshit. It was her birthday and you didn't want to spoil it for her. It was in a bag people - hardly spreading it's hamster germs all over some frozen bolognese!

That said, I was once looking after a snake for college thought the Xmas holidays and it died. I kept it in the freezer so I could take it back with me in January. Our tutor had a look over it and mentioned trying to see if it had eaten something / try to work out why it'd died.
My mother was far from impressed with finding it hidden (double bagged) under the frozen brocolli though, she hit the fucking roof. I still chuckle about that to this day Grin

AlmostAJillSandwich · 01/03/2019 11:38

I've had pets die at the worst times, Christmas eve and one the morning of my 18th birthday, 2 on my 29th birthday last year.
I think it was very thoughtful of you to do what you did, and frozen rodents in my freezer wouldn't faze me, its packed with mice rats and baby chicks for my snakes, i don't get the "it's disgusting" thoughts and i speak as someone with severe germ OCD, no differerent than having a chicken or chops in there.

BoreOfWhabylon · 01/03/2019 11:40

@SandyDrawsBadly we need a picture!

Haven't seen one of your cartoons for ages.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/03/2019 11:41

It doesn't seem as though she was that invested in Hammy though if she didn't look in the cage once in two full days and notice her missing.

I agree - but as the mother of a daughter I can assure you that the opportunity for over-dramatic grief would not have passed unobserved had she been given the news on her birthday.

You did the right thing OP

BoreOfWhabylon · 01/03/2019 11:41

Oh, and YANBU