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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to freeze DD’s hamster?

336 replies

SandyDrawsBadly · 01/03/2019 09:33

I came downstairs on DDs Birthday to find that Wonder Woman the hamster was dead. Stupid fucking hamster

I didn’t want to upset DD on her birthday so didn’t tell her before I dropped her at school. I doubled checked when I got home in case it had been sleeping, but this was one cold dead stiff hamster and it’s red eyes were all grey, so it was definitely dead.

I didn’t want to ruin her birthday, but I didn’t want a slowly decomposing hamster in the warm living room either. so I popped it into a freezer bag and hid it underneath the frozen veg out of the way. I got her out the next day, defrosted her in the cage and “discovered” her death the next morning. Two days post birthday.

I was telling my friend but she said this was ridiculous over protective parenting.

So, was I unreasonable to freeze the hamster and has anyone else done stuff to save upset as I can’t be the only one, surely!

OP posts:
UncomfortableSecret · 02/03/2019 22:03

Friend's guinea pig died on us while they were on holiday and we were looking after it. I did text her and offer to either bury the poor thing or freeze it so her DDs could do that when they came back. She chose the first option and I think it made her think I'm a little strange.

She doesn't even know about DS2's placenta still in my freezer, 8 years later! Grin

Proseccoagain · 02/03/2019 22:03

Did that with our elderly cat who had to be put to sleep because of kidney failure.. Brought her home from the vets to bury but the ground was too hard, so temporarily froze her, wrapped in a thick towel and then in a plastic bag, until the ground was soft enough to bury her next to her brother. Our next cat we had cremated and her ashes were scattered where the other cats were.

Teacher22 · 02/03/2019 22:09

Kindly meant.

SpoonBlender · 02/03/2019 22:11

Perfectly sensible. Good on you for looking after your DDs feelings like that.

Fruitbatdancer · 02/03/2019 22:22

Pre children I’d have declared you batshit.

Now, as a mum, I’d probably do the same!

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 02/03/2019 22:34

Calm down people she said hamster not grandma.

shortsaint · 02/03/2019 22:50

Perfectly sensible.

I'm an adult. We have had a series of hamsters'supposed' to be for the kids.

Last summer ours died whilst we were on holiday. Our neighbour put it in the garage in a shoebox for our return. It was just very ... stiff.

Housemum · 02/03/2019 23:05

My husband did similar - I was away on a course, DD1 hadn’t shut the lid properly on the hamster cage. DH heard a strange noise from the cat and saw it with the hamster in its jaws Shock. He prised the now dead hamster from the cat, and shoved it into the bedding. Told me that he didn’t want to tell DD and wanted me to the next day (the cat hadn’t had chance to chew and maim the poor creature, at least it was a mercifully quick kill).

At least I had the satisfaction that the deprived cat scratched DH’s arms.

puppy23 · 02/03/2019 23:10

The replies to this have given me a right chuckle tonight, thanks OP and RIP Wonder Woman - bet the furry gal never imagined she'd be so iconic.

Also considering texting my DF to see if he ever popped any of my poor pets in the freezer

TheGirlWithGlassFeet · 02/03/2019 23:13

Apparently if you freeze them and then reheat them they can come back to life. I tried it with mine when I was younger but it didn't work.

EncroachingLoaf · 02/03/2019 23:16

I had a pet budgie that I left at home when I went to uni. It was quite old and died while I was away so my mum rang to break the news. She also 100% seriously asked me if she should put it in the freezer until I was back for Christmas so I could say goodbye Confused I declined!

I think what you did to protect DD's feelings temporarily for her birthday was rather considerate and sweet if a little... unconventional Grin hope she is getting over it op.

Love the way it's assumed everyone on mumsnet has a garage. We don't even have a driveway Shock

Dimebag10M · 02/03/2019 23:19

My friend did this - turned out the hamster wasn't actually dead

OJZJ · 03/03/2019 00:24

Also popped a deceased hamster into the freezer in the middle of a heatwave last summer for a few days as didn't want to upset son's party and turn it into a wake etc so not over parenting by my standards at all,

OJZJ · 03/03/2019 00:25

Ps sorry for your loss, I rather like rodents...

vintanner · 03/03/2019 00:43

OMG

mokapot · 03/03/2019 02:43

Absolutely pissed myself reading this
Grin
How on earth did you even thing of this plan? You’d make a great serial killer op

Catsinthecupboard · 03/03/2019 04:04

My dd is 20. I almost went to store to replace her dead beta (Japanese fighting) fish when i thought it was dead. She's going to school from home and it is mid terms. I didn't want her upset during tests.

Obviously you're a good mother.

OwlBeThere · 03/03/2019 05:02

my sons guinea pig died on his birthday, he still remembers it and gets sad about it 6 years later. i'm sure if it had happened a different day he'd not have had it etched quite so deeply in his psyche. though, he does have asd which means he may have, but for that reason i don't think it was over protective, a bit of an odd way to go about it maybe, but i understand totally why you did it!

Original poster
SandyDrawsBadly · 03/03/2019 09:08

I only thought it was a stupid fucking hamster for choosing to die on her birthday of all days.

But fear not! We shall no be getting another hamster. We’ve got a stupid fucking cat now instead. Grin

Delighted to find out that up and down the country there are hundreds of pets nestling in with the chicken dippers and peas and I’m not the only parent who goes this far!

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 03/03/2019 09:16

I had an inherited hamster that died on New Year's Eve and I discovered it the next morning. It was raining heavily and I couldn't be arsed to dig a hole. Even though I didn't have a hangover I didn't want to get wet. I wrapped it up in toilet paper and left it for a few days and buried it when it stopped raining. As it hadn't moved I knew it was truly dead and not hibernating.

ToftyAC · 03/03/2019 16:33

I don’t think it’s mental behaviour. Highly amusing definitely. But I can see why you did it. It’s not like you were trying to spare your DD her hamster’s death, just not ruin her birthday. I don’t think you were being unreasonable or overprotective. I shall remember this thread if one of the guinea pigs is found dead as a door nail on DS’s Birthday 👍

SynchroSwimmer · 03/03/2019 16:52

I think what you did was brilliant. It was absolutely the right thing to do.
You should be commended.

Your daughter would forever remember on her birthdays going forward, that her beloved hamster died that day.

I think it was very considered and thoughtful of you.

I had a similar birthday/aged cat scenario....

My granny also never forgave my grandpa for dying “on her birthday”, he did it deliberately (apparently!)...we thought it humorous as kids, bit now being bereaved myself, well I understand.....

Oblomov19 · 03/03/2019 16:55

Seems a bit OTT. I would have just told her.

Bellatrix14 · 03/03/2019 17:10

I am always very confused by the idea that hamsters need to be played with and entertained (by humans, I realise they need stuff to climb and play with), especially Syrian hamsters. They are primarily solitary animals that don’t like engaging with their own species very much, surely they’re not going to be especially bothered by lack of human affection or the potential disinterest of younger children Confused It seems to go against their natural ‘personality’?

I think you did the right thing, OP. I agree with others that your daughter probably isn’t ready for the responsibility of pet ownership if she didn’t notice it wasn’t in its cage on the second evening (the birthday I understand!) but you’ve already said you’re not getting another one so it’s a bit of a moot point! I hope she enjoyed her birthday Smile

Mother87 · 03/03/2019 17:18

LottieGrin