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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to freeze DD’s hamster?

336 replies

SandyDrawsBadly · 01/03/2019 09:33

I came downstairs on DDs Birthday to find that Wonder Woman the hamster was dead. Stupid fucking hamster

I didn’t want to upset DD on her birthday so didn’t tell her before I dropped her at school. I doubled checked when I got home in case it had been sleeping, but this was one cold dead stiff hamster and it’s red eyes were all grey, so it was definitely dead.

I didn’t want to ruin her birthday, but I didn’t want a slowly decomposing hamster in the warm living room either. so I popped it into a freezer bag and hid it underneath the frozen veg out of the way. I got her out the next day, defrosted her in the cage and “discovered” her death the next morning. Two days post birthday.

I was telling my friend but she said this was ridiculous over protective parenting.

So, was I unreasonable to freeze the hamster and has anyone else done stuff to save upset as I can’t be the only one, surely!

OP posts:
BlueEyedPersephone · 02/03/2019 07:42

@SandyDrawsBadly I think you are a lovely parent and those people saying it's gross to put in freezer - read the detail! I think what you did was thoughtful and caring and ultimately to taught her about death as well.

Hamsters can often not be seen for a day or two so those saying the girl would not be close to have missed it are being ott and not lived with a hamster and busy life.

ScreamingValenta · 02/03/2019 14:21

Hamsters can often not be seen for a day or two so those saying the girl would not be close to have missed it are being ott and not lived with a hamster and busy life.

If your life is so busy that you can't take two minutes daily to check your pet is still alive and has food and water, then I don't think pet ownership is for you.

Did anyone in the family care about this hamster? DD didn't notice for two days; OP's reaction to its death was Stupid fucking hamster Sad

Rottencooking · 02/03/2019 15:29

I don't think stupid fucking hamster was a serious comment!!

zwellers · 02/03/2019 15:41

Sceamingvalenta are you being deliberately
Obtuse and hysterical. Nowere did the op say she hadn't checked on the hamster, or that the hamster was neglected. And we are talking about from the sounds of it a young child here. No sane parent would entrust full care of any pet to a young child but its also doesn't mean she won't be a responsible pet owner when older. Or would you ban her now.

EwItsAHooman · 02/03/2019 15:43

Also not uncommon for a child not to see the hamster for a couple of days if the hamster doesn't wake up until after the child goes to bed so the child won't notice anything amiss if they don't see it for a few days, it would be down to the adult to notice "hang on, it's 10/11pm and hamster hasn't woken up yet".

EwItsAHooman · 02/03/2019 15:45

OP's reaction to its death was Stupid fucking hamster

So? When the DC aren't around I sometimes refer to our hamster as dickhead as in "what are you doing, you tiny dickhead!?" when he's getting himself into mischief.

ScreamingValenta · 02/03/2019 15:52

zwellers I'm not sure where I have demonstrated 'hysteria'. I just think the tone of the OP and some of the responses on the thread are rather off.

People are focusing on what a fabulous mum the OP must be (and I don't disagree that she's shown compassion to her DD) but ignoring the fact the DD didn't notice the hamster had died until two days later and as far as mum is concerned, it's just a 'stupid fucking hamster' - yet people are crying with laughter and saying the thread has brightened their day, etc. I find that quite troubling.

The day I refer to one of my pets, shortly after its death, even in jest as a 'stupid fucking' animal will be the day I decide I'm no longer the right person to have charge of an animal.

PottyPotterer · 02/03/2019 15:54

Not getting the big deal here, you do all know when you have your pets PTS at the vets they go in a freezer right? Granted not usually with food other than the odd box of ice lollies on a hot day. I think it was quite thoughtful of you OP.

ScreamingValenta · 02/03/2019 15:54

not uncommon for a child not to see the hamster for a couple of days if the hamster doesn't wake up until after the child goes to bed

Fair enough, the child might not see the hamster itself, but surely alarm bells should ring if neither its food or water has been touched in 24 hours.

EwItsAHooman · 02/03/2019 15:59

Fair enough, the child might not see the hamster itself, but surely alarm bells should ring if neither its food or water has been touched in 24 hours.

Depends how much food and water was there in the first place, my hamster's bowl and bottle will look like they've barely been touched even when I've see him in there filling his boots. They don't eat that much in a day - around one tablespoon of food, give or take, and 1-2 teaspoons worth of water. Some days he doesn't eat from the bowl at all and will eat from the food stores he has stashed around the cage instead.

Coronapop · 02/03/2019 15:59

Sounds a great idea to me. Who wants to spoil their DC's birthday with lesson about death?

drinkswineoutofamug · 02/03/2019 16:53

I think OP is a genius ( and a brill artist) I've had many a rodent , yes clean water daily but didn't top up food daily. And due to life in general could miss seeing them for a couple of days. And yes I called my dog a fucking stupid dog today ( light hearted) as she decided that my lovely clean washing would be perfect to bury her new bone in.
Doesn't make me a bad owner. Rodents are rather self sufficient as long as they have food, water, toys. A dog on the other hand is like having a child.

Figgygal · 02/03/2019 16:56

OH I love this
I excellent work op

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/03/2019 17:07

surely alarm bells should ring if neither its food or water has been touched in 24 hours.

Not really, Valenta. Unless the weather is very hot, the water bottle barely seems to move - though when we had our small pets, they were given fresh every day anyway, as I don't like to think of them drinking nasty stale water.

And as regards food - they usually have a bed full of the stuff! I think their name actually comes from a German word meaning to hoard, or forage or something similar. Unless you put in something particularly delicious (a bit of chicken or banana for instance), it may not bother with what you've topped the bowl up with.

If the hamster ignored something really tempting, then I'd worry.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/03/2019 17:08

And even if you don't see much of them, you generally hear the little bleeders, as they wake up and rattle round in the wheel just as you are sinking into blessed nocturnal oblivion . . .

FontSnob · 02/03/2019 17:49

Bahahaha. I think this is brilliant and we’d definitely be friends irl. Grin

cabalenica · 02/03/2019 18:20

This totally sounds familiar to me as I knew someone whose mum did this with the cat!

However: the mum froze it because my friend was away at university.

She got back at Easter and her mum said, "Look, I've got some bad news: Fluffy died. We didn't want to tell you and upset you while you were away."

Friend: Oh, that's sad. Thanks, I understand.

Mum: I'll go fetch him...

Friend: !!!!!

He was in the chest freezer in the garage. Her mum's a bit weird though.

user1496701154 · 02/03/2019 18:59

I find this thread a upsetting to be honest. An poor animal died. Hamster have a short life span to start with. Depending on age of child it should of been told on day no matter of birthday or not. I know hamster are notcural but some do get up earlier for a look about (had 5 hamsters rip). Rip little one. Child need to learn about the cycle of life

CinammonPorridge · 02/03/2019 19:08

I would think it makes a hilarious anecdote for when your daughter finds out what you did when she is older.

This reminded me of when my mum once put two goldfish on the windowsill in the blazing sun as she thought they would 'enjoy the view'. I hope you did the whole death thing properly and had a burial in the garden and said goodbyes. Are you getting her another one? :)

Poloshot · 02/03/2019 19:10

Utterly mental

LaraLondon1 · 02/03/2019 19:12

Ugh this has made me feel sick 🤢

Darsar111 · 02/03/2019 19:28

My daughter lost her great-nan and her hamster during her SATS exams week . We left it until her SATS were over to tell her. We lived with the hamster dead and decomposing for five days whilst grieving for the death of my nan. It was bloody awful - but you do what is best for your child at the time and ultimately you know what is best for your child in those circumstances. I still think we did the right thing.

Sara107 · 02/03/2019 19:55

As far as the hygiene aspect of freezer storage goes, it’s fine once bagged up. A nature conservation charity in our county were doing a survey of pine martens and asked anybody finding a dead one on the road to bag it and freeze it until a ranger could come to your house and collect it. Luckily I never came across one as the idea of road kill pine marten in the freezer did make me feel a bit squeamish!!

PeapodBurgundy · 02/03/2019 21:20

I'm missing the point of the thread here, but is anyone else's mind now boggled by the potential number of expired pets in people's freezers at any given time?

(OP it's odd, but logical. The kind of warped thing I do too :-) )

Surroundedbycats · 02/03/2019 21:41

Not weird at all to put in freezer. We put dead pet rat and dead kitten in ours at same time once. Needed to find a good time to bury them. Had a be a bit careful when taking out chicken to defrost for dinner.

Not weird to want to stop DD being upset on her birthday.

Very weird she didn't notice it missing for two days🤔