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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Lost dream house due to advice of estate agents

107 replies

Jade348 · 28/02/2019 18:53

I recently found the perfect house me and my fiancé are currently living with his parents and have been desperately saving to buy our first house together. We wanted a specific area and the perfect house in our price range came up. We went to view the house which needed work doing to it. We put in an over just slightly below the asking price to start off. We was sent an email to advice that there were other people interested on Monday and to be patient with the estate agents as the seller was away. I asked the estate agent if they would make me aware if our offer had been out offered as we was willing to increase a substantial amount. The estate agent advices me to hold off as this was very likely to go to best and final offers as all party’s were very similar positions and similar offers. I went into the estate agents on Wednesday and told them I was feeling very nervous because I really wanted the house I asked for advise on what I should do they advised me to wait and they will be in contact after the seller had been into the office Thursday. Today was the day I waited for a call it got to 1pm I had not received a call, I made a call to the office to make sure they didn’t want me to put the offer in then they said they had the seller in front of them and would be in touch. 4:30pm I received a call to advise that the seller had chosen not to go to best and final offers and picked one of the offers on the table. I am heartbroken I feel I was misadvised we was willing to offer a lot more but they didn’t give us the opportunity, now they are just saying it’s not their choice but the sellers! I understand that but I asked on two occasions for advise on what to do could they not have told me to increase offer if I was willing to do so? Anyone else been in a similar situation. I am not feeling very positive this is the second time we have lost out, we have a 3 year old and we need our own space. We contacted the estate agents explained he asked what was we willing to go to which I told him. he said he would put it to the vendor ( which tells me it must have been higher than what was on the table) the seller said thank you very much but he’s old school and doesn’t want to let anybody else down. I will certainly be learning from this.

OP posts:

PtahNeith · 28/02/2019 21:40

AIBU isn't really the place for positivity.

JW13 · 28/02/2019 21:41

@Jade348 something very similar happened to us 6 years ago and we 'lost' a house that I thought was perfect. I was gutted! This was in London in a really cut-throat market and there weren't many properties around in the area we wanted.

A couple of months later a similar but better house came up and we put in an asking price offer and got it. So I was pretty glad that first house didn't happen for us. Hopefully something similar will happen for you.

PtahNeith · 28/02/2019 21:42

Oh, and if this is the second time you've lost out, how is it you've never put an offer in on a house before?

Those two statements appear irreconcilable?

TitsAndTomatoes · 28/02/2019 21:42

Another house WILL come along.

Everyone i know has fallen in love with a house, thought it was their dream home, then missed out on it...and found another.
Same thing happened to me. Its not the end of the world.
Id put the higher offer in and get them to submit. If the seller takes it then great. If not...well you'll find another

Alsohuman · 28/02/2019 21:44

Will you all stop being so bitchy to OP? All this nitpicking is really getting on my tits.

Original poster

Jade348 · 28/02/2019 21:47

@ptahneith - we lost out the first time as a similar house came up, same area but we was not in a position to put an offer in, as we didn’t have a deposit. Don’t really think I need to explain that. It is a relevant.

OP posts:

Crockof · 28/02/2019 21:52

What's for you won't pass you by.

Witchend · 28/02/2019 21:52

Just bear in mind that if you put a letter through the door and the vendors decide to go with you, they can equally well be swayed further down the line from someone gazumping you.

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 28/02/2019 21:55

OP, tbh I'm intrigued that you see that (your post above re the previous house) as having 'lost out', even though you weren't actually in the 'game' to start with. It's a bit like saying you lost a game of football because you didn't have a ball. It does suggest you might be used to a certain degree of expectation of getting what you want, or difficulty with reconciling to the fact that life doesn't often work like that - a kind of belief that fixating on something means you're entitled to get it? I'm a bit astonished at all the PPs suggesting you write manipulative letters and glad you're not going to. But you might want to think a bit about how you're approaching this.

MonsterKidz · 28/02/2019 22:00

Been there, done that here too I’m afraid!

When we were buying our first house, we had numerous episodes of loosing out etc.

Similarly, when we were selling our 3rd property, we had first time buyers offer nearly 40k more than asking just because they were pregnant, had lost out so many times they just wanted to get a house! Other offers were around asking price and those buyers were annoyed at someone going so far over.

It’s a terribly stressful situation. You just need to sit patient and when you find somewhere good, don’t get all loved yo about it, put your best offer forward and then wait and see...

Cel982 · 28/02/2019 22:05

OP that's not how it works. You don't put in an offer and then ask the agent to tell you if anyone offers more so that you can raise your offer.

You put in an offer and if it is refused you can raise it. Unfortunately, someone offered more in the first instance and that offer was accepted.

But that is how it works, usually If there are multiple bidders on a property, the agent will generally keep them all informed of what the current high bid is, so that they can up their offer. That didn't happen in this situation, as it seemed the vendor just wanted a quick sale, but it is the norm, and I'm not sure why the OP is being slated for expecting it.

SpringForEver · 28/02/2019 22:17

Don't forget that sometimes an agent will be selling to a friend or family and not be entirely straight about all offers, going in favour of their friend.

TrainSong · 28/02/2019 22:18

I'd drop the vendors a note. Explain that you acted as instructed but were prepared to raise your offer to X. I think it's also worth saying that you know house sales can be complicated and fall through for a number of reasons, and that if this happens please would they get in touch as you would still be keen chain-free buyers. You never know, the buyer mayhave to pull out.

SassitudeandSparkle · 28/02/2019 22:35

Ignore anyone swinging the grammar hammer, OP!

I don't think you can count the first house though, if you didn't have a deposit and never put an offer in - no need to view that one as a failure, it was never an option!

The current property - with the owners being away at the time you offered, it seems that they had a number of offers to consider on their return. They picked one and tbh, it is to their credit that they are sticking with it. If they accepted a higher offer from you, then someone came along with a higher offer again - well, they'd go for the higher offer again! Fine to let the EA know that you are keen if the sale falls through for any reason.

Keep looking, it is always stressful.

Ariela · 28/02/2019 22:38

If you liked the house and the area, and are ready to proceed (got deposit etc and mortgage approved in principal, then why not drop a note through ALL similar properties in the area and say you're looking to buy and are ready to go, and see what materialises.

Fairenuff · 28/02/2019 22:56

Cel982 they don't usually tell you what the other people have offered. They just say there's been a higher bid, to give you the chance to bid more. They shouldn't give a figure. They are working for the vendor and want to get best price.

The other thing to learn from this OP is don't tell the agent that you can offer more. The agent will just tell the vendor. It's their job. No vendor will accept an offer if they already know you are willing to offer more.

Just make an offer on what you are prepared to pay. If it's turned down you can consider offering more if you are able or you can walk away. If the vendor accepts an offer from someone else, that is their right.

Ragnarhairybreetches · 01/03/2019 06:44

We were the first to view our house (within a few hours of it going on) first to offer, (full asking price) next viewers did same. Vender chose us as we were first,
Sometimes the EA can't forsee what the seller will go for. They can only advise. I wouldn't blame the EA but next time if you want it so badly and can afford it, go in with a killer offer.

listsandbudgets · 01/03/2019 07:28

We didn't accept the top offer on our last sale. We accepted a slightly lower offer from a chain free cash buyer. We wanted to scale quickly and knew they would be best met. Sale went through in 6 weeks beginning to end

LakieLady · 01/03/2019 07:32

That's what the people across the road from me did. The leafletted this road and several others nearby.

The elderly lady who lived opposite had not long died and her daughters were her executors. They had a probate valuation done and sold it to the leafletting couple for the amount of the probate valuation, which was around 25% under market value by the time the sale went through.

Great result for my new neighbours, and the executors got a quick hassle-free sale and saved themselves the agents' fees.

Cel982 · 01/03/2019 10:00

Cel982 they don't usually tell you what the other people have offered. They just say there's been a higher bid, to give you the chance to bid more. They shouldn't give a figure. They are working for the vendor and want to get best price.

That hasn't been my experience of house-buying. But it's a rapidly rising market where we are, and bidding wars are the norm.

MatildaTheCat · 01/03/2019 10:07

For gods sake just get on the phone and offer your maximum price with a date to exchange ASAP. The EA legally has to pass it on. Most vendors will bite if it’s a substantial increase.

The winners may be already at their absolute maximum. It’s not nice to do this but as you are learning it’s not a nice competition and the other offer was only just accepted. Do it now and get back to us. You will kick yourself later if you don’t.

Starch · 01/03/2019 10:10

The vendor has already said thanks but no thanks.

Fairenuff · 01/03/2019 10:19

That hasn't been my experience of house-buying. But it's a rapidly rising market where we are, and bidding wars are the norm.

Maybe some agents do this but it's not good practice. They shouldn't be showing their hand as it's not in the best interests of the vendor who they represent.

For example if Buyer A offers £300,00 and Buyer B offers £295,000 the agent should tell Buyer B they have received a higher offer.

Buyer B then needs to decide how much they are really prepared to pay, rather than just offer a little more than Buyer A.

If the agent tells them that Buyer A has offered £300,000 Buyer B is not going to go much higher than that.

However, I accept that maybe some agents are not representing their client that well and are treating it more as an open auction.

The trouble with EA is that they are so keen to make the sale that they don't always work for their client. I've known EAs tell a purchaser that they think the vendor will come down on their asking price even before the buyer has made an offer.

MorningRichie · 01/03/2019 10:50

Op, when you go to Sainsburys for your groceries, do you make a bid at the till and work your way up closer to the asking price? If not, why not? That's what you've tried to do to the vendor.

I work in an industry where people think it's acceptable to do that and it's annoying in the extreme. If you want it, pay for it.

Confusedbeetle · 01/03/2019 11:04

No, the vendor is correct, there is a morality here that a lot of greedy people ignore. The Ea is not your advocate he works for the vendor. If you were so set on this house you should have put in a higher offer at the beginning, Bidding wars are quite wicked and very stressful on all sides. Do not ask this honourable vendor to renege on his deal. People do this sometimes and then the deal falls through. Serves them right for being greedy, Accept that you didn't get this one. There is always another house. Choose your tactics carefully. Sometimes you might offer high and pay over the odds to get the house you want. Thats life, but dont get into gazumping, its wrong.

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