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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Lost dream house due to advice of estate agents

107 replies

Jade348 · 28/02/2019 18:53

I recently found the perfect house me and my fiancé are currently living with his parents and have been desperately saving to buy our first house together. We wanted a specific area and the perfect house in our price range came up. We went to view the house which needed work doing to it. We put in an over just slightly below the asking price to start off. We was sent an email to advice that there were other people interested on Monday and to be patient with the estate agents as the seller was away. I asked the estate agent if they would make me aware if our offer had been out offered as we was willing to increase a substantial amount. The estate agent advices me to hold off as this was very likely to go to best and final offers as all party’s were very similar positions and similar offers. I went into the estate agents on Wednesday and told them I was feeling very nervous because I really wanted the house I asked for advise on what I should do they advised me to wait and they will be in contact after the seller had been into the office Thursday. Today was the day I waited for a call it got to 1pm I had not received a call, I made a call to the office to make sure they didn’t want me to put the offer in then they said they had the seller in front of them and would be in touch. 4:30pm I received a call to advise that the seller had chosen not to go to best and final offers and picked one of the offers on the table. I am heartbroken I feel I was misadvised we was willing to offer a lot more but they didn’t give us the opportunity, now they are just saying it’s not their choice but the sellers! I understand that but I asked on two occasions for advise on what to do could they not have told me to increase offer if I was willing to do so? Anyone else been in a similar situation. I am not feeling very positive this is the second time we have lost out, we have a 3 year old and we need our own space. We contacted the estate agents explained he asked what was we willing to go to which I told him. he said he would put it to the vendor ( which tells me it must have been higher than what was on the table) the seller said thank you very much but he’s old school and doesn’t want to let anybody else down. I will certainly be learning from this.

OP posts:

Meandwinealone · 28/02/2019 20:24

So you could go up in tiny increments and hopefully save a little bit.
You can do that if it’s not your dream home and you don’t give a shiny shit what happens

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/02/2019 20:25

A lot of sales fall through, so you never know, you might find the EA on the phone in a few weeks, asking whether you're still interested.

But if not, there will always be another house, and the next might be even better.

WhatFreshHell · 28/02/2019 20:26

Also agree with @Reallyanotherone. Even if I were prepared to read a note from someone who had failed to offer the asking price for my house, poor spelling and grammar would make it a non-starter for me. If you can't get that right, what else is going to go wrong?

user1474894224 · 28/02/2019 20:28

I agree put the letter through the door. You don't have to be cringy. Just how much you love the house, how you had additional funds to spend had you been given the chance to up your offer. The fact you have a MIP and nothing to sell. And should there position change please contact you. EA will go with their own people of they get double commission. So you may not have been represented exactly as you think....

SassitudeandSparkle · 28/02/2019 20:29

If the ea had passed on the offer though surely they should have told o/p it had been refused to give the o/p the chance to offer higher.

There were a number of offers from potential buyers for the house, the vendors considered them all at the same time (they had been away and not seen them until they returned) and picked one. The OP offered more, the EA put it to the vendors and it was rejected.

reallyanotherone · 28/02/2019 20:29

mazed at how many people seem to think gazumping is a perfectly fine thing to do. A letter through my door would go straight in the bin

On the other hand, if the EA hasn’t been passing on offers, it will make sure the vendors know.

LifeImplosionImminent · 28/02/2019 20:29

It's not the end of the world, you will find another house you will love, next time, offer a decent price straight off.

newlyfrugal · 28/02/2019 20:38

You're using advice and advise the wrong way round, and that was really difficult to read. Paragraphs and proper sentences are your friend.

Absolutely no need for this kind of shit. It was perfectly readable. If it was confusing for you I suggest you work on your own literacy rather than botching about others. Decency, kindness and knowing when to keep your mouth shut are your friends.

muchprefersummer · 28/02/2019 20:40

It's a hard lesson but if you really love a house, you need to offer the full asking price from the beginning. You fell in love with a house, then tried and failed to get a better deal. Unfortunately for you, someone else loved it too and offered higher from the start.

I'm assuming most of the people suggesting gazumping have never been gazumped themselves. Having been gazumped myself, I would never do this to anybody - it's horrible.

TheInvestigator · 28/02/2019 20:44

@nelyfrugal

No, it wasn’t, and that’s proven by the fact that everyone replied with “just out your higher offer in now anyway”. And she had actually done that, but the OP is so waffly and incorrect that most people have missed it.

When you’re looking for information or advice, you need to put the problem across in a clear manner.

Kintan · 28/02/2019 20:48

Can’t believe the amount of posters advising you to put a note through the door. If I was a vendor that would really annoy me if I’d already said no thanks to your offer. The people whose offer he has accepted may well love the house as much as you do and have a young family too. Think you just need to accept you’ve lost out on this particular house and continue your search for your dream home. Good luck!

Lifecraft · 28/02/2019 20:51

Firstly, just because someone gives you advice that turns out to be wrong thing to do, doesn't mean it was bad advice.

I would advise someone not to spend their £5K life savings on scratch cards. If it turns out that a £1m winning ticket would have been in that batch they would have bought, my advice turned out to be the wrong advice. But it was still good advice at the time it was given.

Secondly, never fall in love with a house you hope to buy. That way lies madness.

Original poster

Jade348 · 28/02/2019 20:53

Thank you for your kind message. I did not realise I would be slated for my grammar. X

OP posts:

RamonaQuimbyAge48 · 28/02/2019 20:54

Lesson learned. Next time you hear there are multiple offers on the table, put in your best and final offer for consideration. You know now for next time.

Curiousdad18 · 28/02/2019 20:56

@xccstatic - I would tend to agree with you. Although some people may think it's unfair estate agents want to ensure the sale goes through so may not always recommend the highest bidder.

Many moons ago I went to buy a new car and couldn't get the time of day from the salesman as I was wearing scruffy hoody and jeans. I have £10k cash to spend but he just wasn't interested as he'd made his mind up I was a timewaster.

soontobefour4 · 28/02/2019 20:58

It's always disappointing when you are unsuccessful in buying property and I do get it OP but there are a few lessons for you to take from this one:

The estate agent is not there to advise you. Their client is the vendor, not the purchaser. It is the vendor paying the estate agent's fees.

You say that you were not given the opportunity to make your highest offer. You had your opportunity when you made your original offer and if the house is as perfect as you say it is, that was the time to put your cards on the table and offer what you think the house is worth and what you can afford.

We have no idea of the vendor's circumstances, nor those of the purchaser. The purchaser may we'll be a cash buyer and the vendor might be glad of a quick sale and the money in the bank. Not everyone needs to hold out for the last penny so it's difficult to say whether you would have been successful anyway without knowing the context.

Please don't try to gazump the purchasers. They are probably just as desperate for the house as you are and it's nice to hear that the vendor has the good morals to stick to their guns. The best thing you can do is to tell the estate agent that you are disappointed not to have your offer accepted and if anything should go wrong with the sale to make you aware as soon as possible. Then reread no. 2 and go for it!

I know it's rubbish but hopefully you've picked up a few good pieces of advice from your thread. Good luck for next time, there will be other houses!

ErictheGuineaPig · 28/02/2019 21:03

Oh God. I feel so stupid. When I sold my last house I never thought to check on the buyers' spelling and grammar abilities. I guess I just got lucky when the sale went through without a hitch. If I ever sell my current house I'll be sure to ask for at least a B in English Language GCSE as a requirement of the sale. God knows what could happen otherwise!

Original poster

Jade348 · 28/02/2019 21:11

Can I just clear some points up:

I have never made an offer on a house before so yes I did think the point was to put a starting offer in and work your way up.
I have clearly noted on my original post that I will be learning from this. I am not stating I am not reasonable for not putting my full offer in first, but I genuinely did not know that’s how it worked.
I did not re-read my post, I came on here for positivity not to be slated for my grammar. It really shows what type of person you are to put somebody down and stating that I would be judged for this- you don’t know me, I wouldn’t dream of sending any letters to an estate agents without proof reading.
I won’t be looking to send a letter through the post thank you for the idea however, I feel I need to learn a lesson from this.

Thanks for the advice guys!

OP posts:

Lostthefairytale · 28/02/2019 21:15

Paragraphs and proper sentences are your friend

And the award for the most patronising sentence of all time goes to...

KnightError · 28/02/2019 21:19

How does someone proof read anything if their spelling and grammar are very poor? Surely you can either spell and punctuate, or you can't?

SpringForEver · 28/02/2019 21:24

TheInvestigator
You're using advice and advise the wrong way round, and that was really difficult to read. Paragraphs and proper sentences are your friend.

They need to do what their client wants. They got a bunch of offers, they assumed from their experience that it would go to best and final, which is the norm, but the seller chose not too.

The irony of this - using too instead of to.

reallyanotherone · 28/02/2019 21:26

This. I remember walking in to an EA ready to buy my first house. Mortgage agreed, serious first time buyer. This was pre- internet when the only option was physical shops.

So me, in jeans and a t-shirt, it being my day off, aged 22.

Every fucking house, flat and garage in that EA was “sold” or “under offer”. Every single one. The EA did not have one property for sale. They would not take my details for any new properties they may get.

So yes, you get judged. People make snap judgements on your education, earning capability, and whether you are able to afford things.

My mother, back in the 80’s, was often refused credit cards or treated badly by sales assistants because she was widowed. No man to pay it, therefore she couldn’t afford it.

O/p we can only take what we read on face value. You would be utterly shocked at the level of spelling and grammar on official documents- it is not unusual for people to use language like your o/p on official documents. It was not a judgement- i don’t know if you are dyslexic, in a rush or that’s your normal way of writing.

TwoRoundabouts · 28/02/2019 21:27

OP the time to put a letter through the door was after your viewing not when you want to put in a higher offer. It actually isn't rare for vendors to choose the people they feel will respect their home, so when viewing if the vendors are present always say nice things unless you absolutely hate the place.

Oakmaiden · 28/02/2019 21:34

There will be other houses.

darklady64 · 28/02/2019 21:39

I'm glad you're not putting a letter through the door. If I had accepted another offer on my house I would feel honour bound to that. A letter banging on about how much you loved my house (even though you weren't prepared to offer the asking price) would just annoy me, so don't waste your energy. God, this sort of thing is why we've stayed in the same house for 25 years!

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