Or is 'wanted down under' one of the worst programmes of all time?

[Coffeeisnecessary]

All the pressure on one person in the family who doesn't want to go, the heartfelt messages from family all crying, leaving elderly family, giving up established businesses, it's all just so uncomfortable. Maybe I'm not adventurous enough but I can't imagine giving up everything just because things look nice and sunny on neighbours. Aibu?

YANBU, I always thought people try it on to get a freebie holiday. Don't blame them.

And the swimming pools are often tiny. I often think, 'So you've moved halfway across the world for a tiny backyard and a pool barely bigger than a bathtub?'

All these property shows are stupid though - 'A place in the Sun' isn't much better and often features people who don't speak a word of the local language wanting to move somewhere they've never been. When you live somewhere it's not like being on holiday. To start with it is, but then reality bites - you have to work, bills have to be paid, kids have to go school, you miss your family, your friends and all the little comforts of living in a place you know intimately. When I lived OS I missed British magazines and books, Radio 4, certain foods or brands that I couldn't get, just knowing how things work and who to call and how to get things done. In Australia you've got a much higher cost of living and masses of horrible creepy crawlies and it's so bloody far from home. The thought of leaving one kid behind too is just horrible - some of those people are just so fucking selfish Makes good telly, of course, but it's people's lives.

It's just people who want a free holiday. If a couple of hundred pounds a month is the difference between staying here and moving then their heart isn't in it

I love Place in the Sun and all it's variations You get the retired couple who want a bedroom for grandchildren well Grandpa does Grandma usually gives off bugger that vibes ! You get the 2nd time marrieds handholding and wanting a fresh start and away from the squabbiling adult kids they never mention the grandchildren at all. I love the drama of the phone ringing to the obviously not there estate agent really whats not to like.

A Place in the Sun is really weird. "So you've just had your first grandchild and you want to come and live in Spain?" doesn't imply great family relations. And nobody ever ever says, "Do you actually speak any Spanish?" And no mention of Brexit on any of those programmes, either.

I find many of the families hilariously naive with massive rose-tinted glasses of what they think 'Straya is like.

But I am an expat from Australia and it was hands down the best decision I've ever made in my life to leave that country

Most of them do not realise

• how fucking hot it is all the time
• how racist the people are
• how far away from everywhere you are
• how really really expensive it is, they all look at these lovely cheap houses but really they're in bumfuck nowhere where they'll be commuting ages to get anywhere decent for work
• certain job markets are just horrendous in how they treat employees
• again it's just so. Flipping. Hot.
• being away from family sucks majorly

you could not pay me to move back there

Oh this programme makes me shout a bit.

They go for a week to one part of Australia (always Perth?) which apparently means they know all about the place even though Australia is massive.

They get all excited because they can take their kids to the park!!! As far as I’m aware we have parks in the UK. I take my kids to them.

And the ones that go to NZ, wait til winter. Not all sunny and parks then is it, because the weather is the same as the UK!

I have to force myself not to watch Wanted Down Under because it gives me the rage.

They base their decision on a theoretical maximum salary for jobs they're usually not yet bloody qualified for - just hoping to be. "Sarah has been a stay at home mum for 9years but she was wondering about being an accountant so we've based the calculations on her earning $65,000".

I can't understand depriving children of a relationship with their grandparents, leaving children from previous marriages behind, abandoning parents who have serious health issues so could never fly out to see you even if they could afford to etc etc.

Mainly it's the emotional side. It's a huge trigger for me. Long back story but my dad went to Israel for quite a few years just as I was reaching my teens and it was really hard without him. And now, my partner's family who we were all really close to, fucked off overseas to live in Italy two years ago without talking to us before making the decision, or giving a shit about how we could continue to have a relationship. Disabled/autistic kids so they can't manage Skype/video chat/long journeys. Basically lost their grandparents. And my lovely dad died 4 years ago too so our kids basically lost their whole extended family in one big swoop (DP's brother and his kids went with PIL as he couldn't be fucked to find a job himself in this country so no more contact with uncle/cousins either now).

Basically I project all my own feelings of rejection and abandonment onto the TV and shout at people for leaving their families behind 😅😅

As an aside, poisonous snakes, bitey spiders and big sharks. Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!

O8ne of my teenagers is keen on a university course that our local university excels in. I’m putting a lot of effort into persuading them that moving 200mikes away is a better idea and will led to greater independence and help them develop more life skills. Of course I’d rather they came home and were just down the rd but it’s not about what I want. I think the weeping parents are always selfish.*

Your child wanted to go to the local uni, you wanted what you wanted and persuaded your child to do a course that wasn't his/her first choice to fit in with your ideals for them and the weeping parents are the ones who are selfish?

@FuerzaAreaUruguay, firstly, he’s not quite 16 yet so has another 18mths to make a final decision. Secondly, I have no preference on which university he chooses but if he does opt for the local one, I will definitely be doing my best to convince him to stay in halls/get a house rather than catch a bus home every evening. Of course I will. I want him to be independent and fully experience student life.

I have zero expectation or desire for my children to meet a local partner, get a local job and buy a house up the road from me so I can see them all the time. I want them to experience living in different parts of the country and different parts of the world like DH and I have done. Not worry they’ll get a nosebleed if they leave the postcode.

A member of DH's extended family was on Rip Off Britain. It was very much the equivalent of Daily Mail sadface - "we went on holiday and did an activity specifically excluded by our insurance policy and now the bastards won't pay out!" [hmm

Wanted Down Under is the same - there are a few couples who have really done their homework and are realistic. There are a larger number who have no clue. And yes to the manipulative relatives. Just awful.

I think I’ve only seen it once. The wife did admin and the husband had a labouring job. They still thought they would get a mansion near the beach. She pulled a face at every single property she was shown.

We knew someone who moved there in the 80s with small children. Her husband loved it but as a culture she absolutely hated it, she felt like a second class citizen as a woman and everything revolved around drinking. They came back.

TheWaiting But perhaps the choices you and your DH made aren't going to be the right ones for your DS? You don't sound very open to that. Surely your point was that people shouldn't just do what their families expect of them? Works both ways.

I’ve never yet sat through an episode of Place in the Sun where the couple have actually bought the property. They always have a voiceover at the end saying: “on return to the UK, Trevor and Sharon had a rethink and now live in Derby.” Or something like that.

Not all kids thrive being hundreds of miles away from home at uni. Best thing is to let kids choose their own path, even if it's next door to their parents!

With moving to the other side of the world, if it's your lifelong dream, you should do it before you get married and have kids in this country. It's selfish to drag your kids and oh across the world for some half arsed idea. The two families I know who went to New Zealand both came back. Abroad is just different, not necessarily better.

Same shit. Warmer weather. Usually!

I love the UK. And if I had to emigrate Australia would be well down the list. But hey, that's just me

i have lived abroad on assignment with DH's job and its not easy.
the children picked up the language ( but went to an English school so not fluent) and you still have to cook and clean and learn to drive on the left and do school runs and having a pool is lovely -until the bloody thing went an odd ' milky' colour and cost loads to clean and filter and keep on top of, just for a few months when we could go in it! It was a good experience, but not one I would have wanted all the time. No stealth boasting from me, i found it hard to be honest.

my neighbours inlaws emigrated when her children were little and she resented them for it i think - it can cause all kinds of splits too.

I have a friend that lived in Australia in the 80s and they missed home and struggled with the heat - they only had one room that had air con apparently and she really missed her family and her mum.
She seemed happier being back!
I suppose it all depends on the people, but its not all rosy either - you still have to work and pay bills and do the normal things.

I find many of the families hilariously naive with massive rose-tinted glasses of what they think 'Straya is like.

But I am an expat from Australia and it was hands down the best decision I've ever made in my life to leave that country wink

Most of them do not realise
- how fucking hot it is all the time
- how racist the people are
- how far away from everywhere you are
- how really really expensive it is, they all look at these lovely cheap houses but really they're in bumfuck nowhere where they'll be commuting ages to get anywhere decent for work
- certain job markets are just horrendous in how they treat employees
- again it's just so. Flipping. Hot.
- being away from family sucks majorly

you could not pay me to move back there

I'm the same. Moved to the UK 10 years ago. Now a British citizen with a British wife and British children. My wife and I have watched this show a few times and she asks me if I miss Australia. It often confirms to me why I left.

Things that make me laugh:

• people obsessed with having a pool, but they're not on pool owning income. So the houses they show are either shite, or the whole of the tiny garden is a crappy pool
• British obsession with two storey houses. "I don't want a bungalow". But they're not bungalows, quite a lot of the population live in single storey houses, why do you want stairs?
• "Oh I thought our house would be worth more", "I didn't realise food would be so expensive", "this is not the dream house" etc etc. You came to Australia as a backpacker 20 years ago, when the exchange rate was $3-$1. Times have changed. Have you not read the news stories how property and living costs in Australia are some of the highest in the world? An the exchange rate is half of what it used to be

Argh!

$3-£1 I meant

I have zero expectation or desire for my children to meet a local partner, get a local job and buy a house up the road from me so I can see them all the time. I want them to experience living in different parts of the country and different parts of the world like DH and I have done. Not worry they’ll get a nosebleed if they leave the postcode.

What about what they want. Wow. I lived all over the place, I'm an immigrant to the UK. But my teenager doesn't want that for herself. It's her life, not mine. Can't imagine trying to effect her life choices because hey, my way is better.

My Gran and I watched yesterdays with the PE teacher and we both thought that his wife wasnt happy even though she had been there 8 years. What really got me though was her dad saying you might as well rip my heart out on hearing that they were going to emigrate! That to me was an awful thing to say and i did wonder if thats why she still didnt look very happy despite being there for all that time.

Yes stephanielittl7 ! - her dad and the "you might as well rip my heart out" statement had me

I'm not 100% convinced that couple were truly happy before they even left for Australia. Didn't they show some old footage of the husband the first time they were on the show saying "if (wife's name) wants to stay in the UK and I want to move to Australia, then we split up" ?? Obviously they didn't and they're still together - again another statement!

It's rare that both halves of a couple want to make a huge move like that IME. Often it's one who has 'always dreamed of living in Australia' and the other is just worn down by the endless talk about it, so eventually gives in. It's so important when you marry someone whose dreams are in line with yours. The number of Brits and Aussies who marry too and nearly always the one who's living away from home is miserable.

Does anyone remember the Wanted episode where the Mum was desperate to move to Australia, and they ended up moving down south to be near her parents as like a stop gap before they went to Oz. Only as soon as they moved she changed her mind and then she refused to move to Australia, and her DH thought he’d been fooled into moving to her parents. It was quite awful to watch the catch up episode as he was gutted and thought he’d been tricked all along.