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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how feasible it would be to move to America?

54 replies

LellowYedbetter · 26/02/2019 12:39

I’ve been many times now. I’ve seen New York, Los Angeles, Orlando, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Yosemite, Death Valley, FlagStaff, Mexican Hat, Panquitch, Sedona and Kingman and have driven to many other places in between. I’m absolutely obsessed with the country. I love it. I love the wide open spaces, the pace of life, the scenery, the culture, the weather, the animals ... I don’t think anywhere else in the world compares (and I’ve travelled a lot). I spend each waking minute thinking about it. When I’m driving I Day dream about the American roads, the long desert routes, the wide town roads ... when I’m walking the dog I daydream about the forests, national parks, waterfalls ... when I see kids playing in parks I have flash backs to watching kids jumping off cliffs into lakes in Sedona ...

I have asked Americans when I’ve been over there what my chances would be and in California I’m told I’d have no problem getting in. In Arizona/Utah I was told not to even try 😁

How feasible is it, really? AIBU to be so fascinated with a country that isn’t my own?

OP posts:
THEsonofaBITCH · 26/02/2019 16:13

Move to the USA? Are you CRAZY? Everyone carries a gun, healthcare bankrupts everyone, people are ignorant and FAT; stay away from the USA is all I can say!

Actually the finest place to live I think but if you are going to be swayed by others, might as well keep the USA empty-ish! Grin

00100001 · 26/02/2019 16:15

Is hate living in America.

No job security. you can lose your job over nothing.
No holidays, two weeks if you're lucky.

No maternity leave. Again a couple of weeks if you're lucky.

No free health care as such. Just imagine having to debate whether to take your child in to see a Dr? Should you get that vaccination?

Oh, and I'm not sure if it is still the case, but ten years ago it so, some mobile phone companies used to charge you for RECEIVING CALLS!

I'd visit America twice year, love it. But to live there....nah.

PengAly · 26/02/2019 16:42

Oh, and I'm not sure if it is still the case, but ten years ago it so, some mobile phone companies used to charge you for RECEIVING CALLS!

Yes, i remember this. I was a teenager and my parents had us on a family plan and they would remind us of our limit which included receiving call. I was shocked to come to the UK and realise it wasnt a thing over here

Stupomax · 26/02/2019 16:47

Do you still pay more to call a mobile number than a landline in the UK, or has that changed since I left 11 years ago?

Sparklesocks · 26/02/2019 16:54

From what I understand it’s very difficult – unless, as pp have said, you can get sponsored or are very wealthy.

Also as others have mentioned it might be a culture shock – no NHS, not as many work benefits etc.

I love the US but don’t think I could live there.

OlennasWimple · 26/02/2019 17:00

Look at the visa routes and see if you would qualify for any of them (basically, family / highly skilled / intra-company transfer / investor / lottery)

If not, stick to holidaying there

We loved living there - not perfect, but then neither is the UK (or anywhere else TBH). But unless you can get a visa, it's all a big daydream, regardless of health care systems, work life balance and school shootings

Soontobe60 · 26/02/2019 17:24

All I can say is TRUMP!

His position as a despotic President would be enough to put me off for life.

Stupomax · 26/02/2019 17:27

I have asked Americans when I’ve been over there what my chances would be and in California I’m told I’d have no problem getting in. In Arizona/Utah I was told not to even try

I've been trying to work out why one state would be easier than another.

I live in a tourist state and we use a lot of temporary workers during the summer - but even they are finding it very hard to get visas. The company that DH works for hires a lot of hotel workers in the summer, but last year under the Trump administration they were unable to even get those visas, and those are pretty easy to get.

I guess also California has a lot of tech companies that use H1B visas, but I'd be very wary of coming in on a company-sponsored visa tbh because you're tied to the company.

Frankly most Americans have very little understanding of how immigration works in the US.

Stupomax · 26/02/2019 17:28

I suppose California probably has a fair few immigrants on O visas too...

sailorsdelight · 26/02/2019 17:28

It’s REALLY difficult, i’m Married to a yank and work for a USA company and it still would be straight forward! You need to get a H1B visa to wrk there - it’s means you’re highly skilled, so not just a doctor but a specialist in the top of your field, with a solid job offer and even then everything hinges on that job. Lose the job and you’re out. Good luck!

Backwoodsgirl · 26/02/2019 17:52

Another Brit in the US, Best decision we ever made. We enjoy having freedom, space, and a awesome work/life balance we never had in the UK. We also find things so much cheaper here, we have a lifestyle which we could have never had in the UK without a lottery win

Gun violence: does not bother us, we have never experienced any (we are gun owners)

Healthcare: the care we have received has been excellent and affordable. Our insurance costs us $200 a month for the 3 of us. Our annual excess is $2000

Trump is a non issue, he will be gone soon

If you want to move either you or DH needs to get a job over here with a visa.

PengAly · 26/02/2019 18:11

Wow Backwoodsgirl you got lucky. That's so different to what I and people i know have experienced. Never have i heard a brit say the work life balance is better in the USA than UK Confused

Original poster
LellowYedbetter · 26/02/2019 18:14

Thanks for the replies, certainly good for thought and lots I didn’t know (like the one week annual holiday! That would kill me!).

Does anyone know how long you can stay in the US for a holiday?

OP posts:
chemenger · 26/02/2019 18:28

I think an ESTA covers 90 days?

SenecaFalls · 26/02/2019 18:29

The majority of Americans do not own guns.

SenecaFalls · 26/02/2019 18:30

Also annual leave depends on the company and how long you have been employed in a particular place.

JessicaPeach · 26/02/2019 18:39

@SenecaFalls the majority of brits don't either but I'd certainly be significantly less worried about getting shot here than there!

itscliffmas · 26/02/2019 18:43

Why would you not google such questions?
Surely if you've been to America so many times then you would know how long you're allowed to stay for a holiday Hmm

Backwoodsgirl · 26/02/2019 18:44

@PengAly

Yes we have been very lucky, we wouldn't dream of moving back to the UK (probably wouldn't be able to) we are not a high income family $70k but it works for us.

DH works for an amazing and flexible company. I was able to start my own business, which I couldn't have done in the UK due to licensing

PengAly · 26/02/2019 18:49

@Backwoodsgirl its nice that you had such a great experience. Unfortunately your experience is rare. OP, id advise using Google for those kind of questions. Its not always 1 week, it can be more but it depends on the company. Also the attitude generally over there is not to actually take any holiday outside of Christmas and Thanksgiving.
Its not so much about how many Americans own guns its the fact that they are so easy to get and the wrong people pretty much get given a gun. Just look up statistics and you'll get a true idea of gun crime

OlennasWimple · 26/02/2019 19:12

I'm not a fan of guns (understatement) and I hate seeing security guards with guns eg at banks and all US police are armed routinely. But of all the things I worried about in the US, gun crime was not one of them. It obviously depends where you live, but even in places with high gun ownership, most people who are killed by guns commit suicide (it's the most common method in the US); are involved in gang violence (not that it makes it any better for the people involved, but I figured our chances of being involved in gangs was pretty low); or are killed accidentally (including young kids who shouldn't be anywhere near a loaded gun setting off a gun by accident)

Glittertwins · 26/02/2019 19:55

Even if you have a job, immigration can still throw a spanner in the works by stating that a US national could do the role. This happened to us. DH was headhunted internally since the company was unable to recruit for the role in over two years. Fortunately we hadn't jacked in everything in the UK and after all that, I'm glad we didn't go!

THEsonofaBITCH · 26/02/2019 20:13

I hired 12 Brits, all but one stayed forever preferring the US. Its not hard if the business wants you, they just need to write the position requirement specific enough and advertise it small enough to get the candidates desired as long as they aren't at the end of the calendar cycle, in which case you need to wait until next cycle. You will need someone interested in hiring you and willing to pay attorneys and fees amounting to about $5000 to get you there.

anniehm · 26/02/2019 20:16

Visas are very hard to come by unless you are in certain required jobs. Most are limited to 6 years too unless you can prove no Americans can do your job. We lived there, it was great, BUT, healthcare is an absolute nightmare, nearly $1000 a month and his work only paid the first $500. Oh and everything is so expensive, kids clubs, sport, supermarkets even.

I prefer it for holidays, if we were to go back across the pond it will be to Vancouver.

puppy23 · 26/02/2019 20:21

I had my own little American dream myself but I think this thread has made me realise

a) how unlikely it is to be possibe
b) how it may not meet my idealisations

Maybe I'm better sticking to dreams and holidays