To ask what I can't eat when breastfeeding?

[CustardCreamLover]

My husband has decided he has a medical degree and is now trying to dictate what I can and can't eat while breastfeeding. According to him I definitely can't eat chocolate and all vegetables have to be cooked to a mush. I think this is all crap especially reading advice from NHS and such like.
And to be honest reading the internet I shouldn't eat anything apart from air 🙄

So maybe if there are some medical professionals out there who can tell me what I can't eat I can take it to him (although multiple midwives in the hospital told us that there isn't anything off limits just in moderation and apparently he still knows better because it's what his mother and sister have done). Because otherwise I think I'm going to divorce him.

Presumably you ate veg while pregnant? How can something that wasn't harmful while baby was sharing your blood suddenly become harmful when he's drinking your milk?

His flat earth theory irritates me beyond belief but I've learnt to just stop listening 😁. He also believes in lizard people, new world order and all that rubbish. He's a true conspiracy theorist. Me on the other hand - I'm going my Master's in molecular biotechnology so it's just a form of entertainment for me haha. Not so many poos from the baby that's why I am a bit worried but we've just had a normal length feed so I hope he was just being a bit fussy. Only time will tell.

OMG sorry no help OP but you can't argue with stupid.

I don't think you can argue with stupid. Just ignore him and eat what you like

Lizard people! Really?! How on flat earth do you ever have a sane conversation with him?

Oats are good so I recommend chocolate covered flapjacks. Do not share with your DH. Science DEFINATELY proves that if you share with DH his penis will fall off

Ok to answer more seriously I would just say that if you are worried baby is rejecting you then don't give him a bottle without more advice. Why not seek help from a lactation consultant?

Some midwives are quick to suggest baby is malnourished and suggest bottles. I know several mum's who have had this happen. I am NOT suggesting you don't feed him bottles even if he won't take breast milk but if he is feeding regularly and producing wet and dirty nappies then at least persevere and get a second opinion. My babies also got quite efficient feeding and fed regularly for short times.

Eat what you like and don't do it secretly or behind his back. You shouldn't have to hide decisions you make about your own body.

On a completely separate point why on earth is an intelligent scientific woman like you having a baby with a flat earther!?

I'm breastfeeding my second. My sister is a midwife and actually tells me to eat whatever the hell I want. More calories for me, better milk for baby. Heck after second baby was born she came back with raspberry jam, scones, doughnuts and a massive bar of chocolate. Made me a cup of tea and told me to eat it all by the weekend when she was coming over again!

Send him to your nearest 24/7 shop and get him to buy you every chocolate bar they have! Baby likes chocolate milk right? 😉

Serve him baby food if you ever cook for him.

@janetforpresident I do love him?! At the moment j can't stand to look at him but usually I just find it amusing. He's quite arrogant and apparently people who believe conspiracy theories tend to be arrogant because they think that they are privileged and special so they know that 'they are lying to us. I just don't waste energy arguing or trying to get him to see sense now. RE the bottle. Baby was 5 weeks early so had a bottle to start with because he wouldn't breast feed. I was in hospital with him for 8 days and when we came home he had lost 10% of his weight overnight. Midwife had me feeding him then topping up with a bottle every 2nd or 3rd feed so that's what we've started doing again just to make sure he's still gaining. I express and we use that milk we aren't on formula.

Stupid phone that's supposed to say 'they' as in whoever it is covering all these things up! Others he believes are that no one has been to the moon, princess Diana was murdered because she was pregnant and 9/11 was orchestrated by US government 🤦‍♀️

OP I was following this thread anyway as I’m pregnant and will hopefully be ebf! However, I’m becoming more and more interested in your husbands theories and thoughts 😂

My DP comes out with some rubbish too, although he does eventually listen as he “assumes” more than researching! He was shocked when I told him what snacks I’d like to pack in my hospital bag & that they were not just for him.. he was adamant I’m not allowed to eat anything during any part of labour. This is our first admittedly, but the thought of giving birth, being in pain AND starving watching him stuff his face with my jammy dodgers would be enough to tip me over the edge.

Not sure where your husband is getting his information but he's talking nonsense. Get him to look at NHS or NCT guidelines. Also, with all due respect to your MIL, some advice on baby care has changed since he was a baby (based on research and evidence). Although you don't mention either MIL or SIL criticising you, only DH.

If you're not sure if your baby is feeding properly consult your HV.

Sounds like you're doing fine though, despite being threatened with mushy veg and no chocolate!

Like a few others have suggested I’d be more worried you’re storing up trouble for the future with some of his questionable beliefs. Although he isn’t an anti-vaxer now he sounds like the type. If he doesn’t trust nhs advice for something as benign as your diet while breastfeeding, will he for medical treatment later on? Will he be teaching your child about lizard people etc? Will be trust in the education system or want to home school? While it might be amusing for you now, it does have the potential for some more serious consequences later on.

What’s the reason for mushy veg only and no chocolate? Of course this is rubbish and don’t eat on the sly as you’ll only encourage him.

There will be no problem with his views later on because literally everyone we know thinks he's bonkers when he talks about them. There is no way I would let them affect my son. Hopefully he will have my logical brain anyway so I won't have any problems! Back to the original issue I intend to sit him down today and explain in very simple terms that I will not be giving up chocolate or eating mushy veg or whatever else he thinks. The midwife is coming to check the baby's latch and for tongue tie again.

Eating a range of foods is far better.. it changes the taste of your milk so means babies are used to different tastes ready for weaning and future feeding.

If DS was early breast feeding takes more effort/ energy to feed so it may be he needs bottles too. Also, given how bothered you are by your husband's views is DS picking up on your tension too?

I can't believe anyone would try to stop a breastfeeding mother from eating. He sounds like a shit bloke. I wouldn't want him near my child.

@EnchantingRaven actually I wasn't allowed food during labour. I just assumed that was normal? Ice chips though, yum

I also wasn't allowed food in labour. Think it's in case you need an emergency c- section

@appointments I was allowed food until I had the epidural, then it was a no in case I had to go to c section. But before that I was fine to eat. I found I really didn't want to though tbh.

Although my youngest is 12 so maybe things have changed since then with regards to what you can/ can't do in labour!

@dementedpixie yes I think that's why too. I remember being so hungry and asking if I could have a sweet at least and being told no 😭

@april45 no tension because of that I just eyeroll and ignore him. However I am stressed because of my Master's I have some extra work to do because I had an EMCS 5 weeks early and the University don't class that as a good enough reason to miss one seminar 🙄. But I'm trying to let that stress go and it seems to be working because the baby ate ok last night and is very active and alert right now.

I was allowed food. Couldn't eat for the first while, then I got a mobile epidural, had a nap and the midwife made me some toast!