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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about dd's coat?

151 replies

aleC4 · 25/02/2019 19:26

Dd was recently in a show at school. On the last night she left her coat in the changing room but didn't realise.
She went straight to her dad's and when she came back she thought she had left her coat there.
She wasn't too worried as she could get it the following Friday.
However when she got to her dads it wasn't there, so we realised she had perhaps left it at school after the show.
Then it was half term.
Today she went back to school and before registration went to lost property to see if her coat was there. The lady knew exactly which coat it was and told her she had taken it to a charity shop!
Is this normal behaviour?
I am absolutely fuming! It was a month old and she bought it with her Christmas money.
I could maybe understand it if it had been there all year and it was the summer holidays but it had only been there a week!
Do the school have a right to give clothes away just like that?
Happy to bow out if I am being unreasonable but I really don't think I am. I want my money back!
I haven't contacted school yet as dd has parents evening tomorrow so I will tackle it with someone then.

OP posts:
Bibijayne · 25/02/2019 19:28

No. They do not. At least, not until it has been more than three months. I'd bill them for the cost of a new one.

lilyboleyn · 25/02/2019 19:28

Standard to donate things that have knocked around for months but not that short a time.

Don’t take it to parents’ evening unless you want to collar the head about it.

StoneofDestiny · 25/02/2019 19:29

No, it's not normal behaviour. It's outrageous. Normal behaviour is to advertise it has been found and await the owner.
A teacher or child would probably have recognised it.

Ihavealwaysknown · 25/02/2019 19:29

Definitely speak to school! Totally unacceptable! Not that it makes any difference, but did the coat have her name in it?

Malibucyprus · 25/02/2019 19:30

I’ve never known schools give away lost property to charity. I thought they kept it until someone claimed it back, or it was borrowed out to pupils that had forgotten something i.e PE t-shirt.

I’d be fuming, especially as it’s only been a week!

HoneysuckIejasmine · 25/02/2019 19:31

What?! No that's ridiculous!

Pinkyyy · 25/02/2019 19:31

I would put it in an email so there is a paper trail of all conversations, people won't have much spare time to talk to you at parents evening. I would also be very angry about this. I completely understand them donating left items but there should be some sort of a time scale, eg. items left longer than 6 weeks. They gave away your daughter's cost and really should replace it, but sadly I highly doubt they will.

IggyPoppers · 25/02/2019 19:31

It's a tough lesson but it really should have had a label.

Daisydad · 25/02/2019 19:32

Did it have her name in it? I would expect unclaimed and unnamed clothes to be disposed of, but named clothes should be returned to pupils.

BartonHollow · 25/02/2019 19:33

I might be suspicious and have read too many CF threads but

a) is she authorised to do that

b) how does anyone know that besides her that it went to a charity shop and not home with her?

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 25/02/2019 19:34

That’s not normal.

I’m a teacher in a primary school. I take unnamed lost property to the charity shop in the summer holidays, after it has been spread out in the hall or playground (and advertised as such!) at the end of every half term and for two weeks before the end of the summer term. I also clearly state that this is what will happen to anything that is left.

BarbarianMum · 25/02/2019 19:36

Our school gives all unnamed lost property to charity at the end of each half term. I think that's fair enough. Was her name not in it?

aleC4 · 25/02/2019 19:38

It had her initials in, written on the corner of the label.
I am a teacher too albeit primary school but we would never give away clothes after a week!
I don't really know who to email, that's why I thought I would ask about it tomorrow night. I could try her form teacher I guess, as a first port of call.
Too be honest I am completely stunned that they would do it. As a pp said, I also only have her word that it went to a charity shop! How do I know she hasn't taken it.

OP posts:
Yura · 25/02/2019 19:44

our school has a 1 week rule, plus clear labelling. no name tag visible -> donate

Yura · 25/02/2019 19:45

name tag sewn on inside the collar, first initial and full last name.

Pinkyyy · 25/02/2019 19:45

Oh so she's in secondary school? I thought she was in primary. That changes things to be honest, I would expect someone of that age to take better care of their belongings.

dontfluffthefluffer · 25/02/2019 19:47

Our high school advertise that they will have lost property out during parents nights etc so it's weird that she's donated it before the parents night.

Yes, she should have taken more care of it, but that's a very short period of time to have it in school for it to be given away.

radishingravish · 25/02/2019 19:47

our school will donate any unclaimed lost property after one week. half term would not be included as a week though and all students/parents have been made aware of the rule

BarbarianMum · 25/02/2019 19:50

Ok then yes YABU. Lokk for mislaid stuff in a timely manner and label it properly if you want it to be returned. Schools dont have the space to be holding on to tonnes of unlabelled, abandoned stuff and they dont have the staff to be proactively managing it (recording how long its been in lost property etc) either.

aleC4 · 25/02/2019 19:52

We've never been made aware of any such rule about giving lost property away after a week.
I am normally very hard on my kids when they lose things but I think this one is a bit harsh. She had just finished a week long stint of shows, it was 9.30 at night and she had been there since 8.25.
She had to remember her school bag, pe bag, overnight bag for her dads, costume and coat. Unfortunately the coat was left behind.
If this is school policy I will have to accept it but I would like to see where it was written down so us parents know about it.

OP posts:
aleC4 · 25/02/2019 19:53

But it was labelled? All her clothes have her initials in.

OP posts:
PocaMiseria · 25/02/2019 19:54

Definitely out of order to dispose of it after less than a month and the school holidays to boot.
The uncharitable side of me wonders if the lost property woman may have decided to keep it if it was a nice coat so palmed your daughter off with the charity shop excuse. You could ask which charity shop and try to claim it back if it has your daughter's name in it (and if it doesn't , why doesn't it? First rule of school clothes - label everything with the kid's name. And when it came to outdoor clothes I started adding my mobile phone number to the label in case they left it in the park or on the bus.)
If you don't get it back then definitely make an official complaint (and tell your daughter to keep her eyes peeled in case she sees it on someone else!)
It is true that schools have so much unclaimed lost property that they do have to get rid of it after a while, but our school always laid out everything on the last day of term before disposing of it so folk could check it wasn't theirs.

Yabbers · 25/02/2019 19:54

Ask her which charity shop and go along and get it.

aleC4 · 25/02/2019 19:55

She didn't look for it for a week because she thought she had left it at her dads. She only goes once a week so once she knew it wasn't there, school was the next place to check.
Unfortunately it was half term.

OP posts:
Farmerswifey12 · 25/02/2019 19:55

I would email the head teacher. I would be fuming!

At my work it is 3 months for non-valuables and 6 months for items clearly expensive.

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