Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about dd's coat?

151 replies

aleC4 · 25/02/2019 19:26

Dd was recently in a show at school. On the last night she left her coat in the changing room but didn't realise.
She went straight to her dad's and when she came back she thought she had left her coat there.
She wasn't too worried as she could get it the following Friday.
However when she got to her dads it wasn't there, so we realised she had perhaps left it at school after the show.
Then it was half term.
Today she went back to school and before registration went to lost property to see if her coat was there. The lady knew exactly which coat it was and told her she had taken it to a charity shop!
Is this normal behaviour?
I am absolutely fuming! It was a month old and she bought it with her Christmas money.
I could maybe understand it if it had been there all year and it was the summer holidays but it had only been there a week!
Do the school have a right to give clothes away just like that?
Happy to bow out if I am being unreasonable but I really don't think I am. I want my money back!
I haven't contacted school yet as dd has parents evening tomorrow so I will tackle it with someone then.

OP posts:
Troels · 26/02/2019 11:55

I'd bet it hadn't gone to charity it had gone home with the teacher who fancied it for herself, or one of her kids. Seeing it smells like the teacher, and none of the other stuff left behind had "gone to charity" she is one cheeky fecker.

SaturdayNext · 26/02/2019 11:59

I'd suggest you clarify with the school what their rules are for lost property for future reference. Also make sure that your DD's full name is on all her belongings, not just her initials.

recrudescence · 26/02/2019 12:02

So the teacher fancied the coat and wore it over the half term holiday?! LOL. Teaching may not make you a top earner but I managed 39 years without having to steal any of the children’s clothes!

TantricTwist · 26/02/2019 12:06

I think the teacher maybe 'stole' it and gave it to a niece or her own DD if she has one a similar age at another School or sold it on Ebay.

School's never give away clothes like this without sending out a letter or email first esp this soon after it being lost and after a half term. I know because we have had a few emails, one today in fact to collect lost property before the end of the month or it will go to charity.

Hopefully she will 'find' it and return it from the 'charity' shop.

I would demand the money for the coat from her via the School.

LittleSF · 26/02/2019 12:06

Grin she totally stole your daughters coat!

Delighted your daughter got it back - nice to see CFery stopped in it's tracks.

TantricTwist · 26/02/2019 12:10

So the Teacher definitely did steal it then.

I would make an appointment to see the Head and let them know because having a staff member who steal like this is not something they would want.

I would also ask the Head in this meeting to ask this Teacher which charity shop it was so you can go there and get proof the coat was never there.

This Teacher could be stealing all sorts of things from the School inclunding finances if she has access.

dragonsfire · 26/02/2019 12:16

So she nicked it then 😳

BrendasUmbrella · 26/02/2019 12:17

You could thank the teacher for retrieving it and ask for the name of the charity shop, because you want to take some donations in as they've been so good to return the coat. Chances are she'll be flustered/irritable/say she doesn't remember the name. I think she's seen the girls wearing this coat and when one got left behind she decided to take it and gift it to a family member/girl she knows.

SoaringSwallow · 26/02/2019 12:19

I wouldn't have a meeting about her stealing it.

I would email the head asking for the protocol for lost property because..then explain what happened. And you're grateful that Mrs X managed to get it back from the charity shop over a week later, but you'd rather have known of the chance it would be going there in the first place.

That way you're not accusing, for which you have no proof, but you're letting them know what happened exactly.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 26/02/2019 12:21

This is illegal unless the item is abandoned. So the question arises whether after a week it can be considered abandoned. Given that they don’t seem to have made any real attempts to reunite it with its owner I would be tempted to say no. I would be tempted to request that they retrievd it from the charity shop.

Poloshot · 26/02/2019 12:37

She's given it to her daughter/family member and been caught out and will get it back

Poloshot · 26/02/2019 12:39

Sorry just seen update - 100% that's what's happened. Thief

GnomeDePlume · 26/02/2019 12:42

I would email the head asking for the protocol for lost property because..then explain what happened. And you're grateful that Mrs X managed to get it back from the charity shop over a week later, but you'd rather have known of the chance it would be going there in the first place.

That way you're not accusing, for which you have no proof, but you're letting them know what happened exactly.

Excellent suggestion from SoaringSwallow

stayathomegardener · 26/02/2019 13:02

Actually I'd just leave it, if she is influential in the drama department you want your Dd to ever get a decent part in the play again?
And then there's GCSE's where the teachers grade you on performance...

Yes it's morally wrong but I would be very hesitant to raise any issues.

stayathomegardener · 26/02/2019 13:04

I might let her know at parents evening how "grateful " I was to her for checking the charity shop. She will know what you mean.

endofthelinefinally · 26/02/2019 13:11

I too feel that it might be better to leave it.
I was aware that several teachers lied and covered up a serious issue at my child's school, but made the decision to keep quiet until after GCSEs.
My child was a straight A student but left the school to do A levels elsewhere. They were really cross. Grin
I knew they would make her life a misery if I took it further. They did, up to a point, but it was manageable.

harriethoyle · 26/02/2019 13:13

Unbelievable! I would definitely bring this to the head's attention...!!

Whatthefunk · 26/02/2019 13:17

Same thing happened to my Ds. He left his full pe kit at school, over the half term. When they went back, we were informed that it had been taken to a charity shop. Fuming...

drinkygin · 26/02/2019 14:01

People readily go out of their way to act superior on here. There’s no way anyone agrees that she should have taken you daughter’s coat, I don’t believe a word of it.
Doubly so now that it transpires it the the only item she took and there was loads of other lost property! It was half term, even if she did realise it was left there how the hell would she go and look for it?!
OP I would take this to the head of the coat doesn’t materialise. Honestly I’m so annoyed on your behalf! Cheeky cow!!

BartonHollow · 26/02/2019 14:04

Cheeky bitch stole it

I knew it!

You have to let someone know subtly

There's no way, that it having gone to a charity shop, she'd have schlepped there to retrieve it on the chance that it hadn't sold.

In the shop I volunteer in the volunteers are allowed to set aside things that catch their eye and pay for them

If it was a brand new, average sized, name recognition coat it would have been long gone

Berthatydfil · 26/02/2019 14:57

She definitely took it.
Perhaps you can seek her out to clarify things and thank her for going out of her way to get it back from the charity shop. Then ask by the way which one was it as dd is convinced it’s been worn as it smells differently so maybe it’s neen tried on a few times but not bought so how lucky it is that you got it back seeing it’s brand new and bought with dds own money ( at this point give her a hard stare to make sure she knows you know)
Then just factually advise the head - they may not be happy a member of their staff steals children’s clothes and lies about it, who knows what else has taken her fancy lately.

radishingravish · 26/02/2019 17:01

I used to volunteer in a charity shop. We got so much donated that things generally did not go on sale for a few weeks, as it took so long to sort through the bags and you can only have a limited amount of things for sale at a time. So it is reasonable that even though it was sent to a charity shop it was not offered for sale and she could have got it back if she could prove she was the one who donated it. And unlike a previous poster we were not allowed to set things that we liked aside, as then there would never be anything good offered for sale to the public and people would be less likely to come to the shop.

Maybe ask her which charity shop it went to and go to the shop and see if her story checks out before you accuse her.

RockinHippy · 26/02/2019 18:05

This sounds dodgy as hell. I agree the woman took it herself & likely broke the usual lost property procedure.

I'm glad you got it back, but personally wouldn't leave it at that. I suggest a sneaky, but nice email to the head, with suggestions on how they could improve their lost property disposal given that you were given no time to retrieve DDs coat before it was given away. I very much doubt that this really is lost property procedure, so this will alert the head to a dishonest staff member

Monty27 · 27/02/2019 06:32

Eeew. Weird about the smell
Glad the coats been returned though.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/02/2019 07:04

Liar liar pants on fire. Yes deffo pursue it.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.