Practical stranger (male) trying to kiss my toddler on the lips

[Phethsehu]

My sister in law has started going out with a new guy. My 3 year old daughter has only met him about 3 times and I've always found him to be a bit intense with her. He doesn't have children but is very hands on with my sister in laws child. When saying goodbye to my daughter when we last saw them he tried to kiss her on the lips. She reacted uncomfortably and turned her head so he kissed her on the cheek. But then he tried again. Again she turned her head and tried to get away. I was so shocked that I didn't fully process this and did not say something at the time, which I now hugely regret. Am I being unreasonable to this is seriously inappropriate behaviour?? Would anyone have any advice on what I could do now so he does not do that again. I feel like texting my sister in law now may lead to too much tension or an argument.

@NWQM yes, I get what you mean. Although, it's not that I'm willing to put her through that again just to avoid awkwardness or a conflict. It's more that I think raising it now would lead to us not seeing my sister in law, meaning my daughter wouldn't see her cousin. They love each other and that would be awful for her.

I’m sorry OP but you sort of are... you can watch your daughter when he is around, hold her etc but not her cousins. Surely you can say something to your sister along the lines of ‘that was abit awkard when...’ and see her reaction. No one is trying to scare monger but you say she was so intent on letting it be her new boyfriend way - pleasing him - that she was the one holding your daughter. Does your husband kiss her children’s on the lip and would you be party to forcing them to let him?

Sarah's law/Claire's law??
The weird part is that she didn't like it and he tried again. Everyone will have their opinions on it and it's nice to hear them BUT if you listen to your instincts they will tell you whether or not you need to be concerned. Very often a situation is baffling but you will still have that "gut" feeling and as a mum I'd trust that to be honest. If protecting your daughter means upsetting your sister you might just have to deal with that one unfortunately. I feel for you. 💐

In my opinion nobody should kiss kids on the lips, not even parents!

Bit weird but ok. My dd used to kiss me on the lips (her decision) when she was little, then she stopped as she grew older. I never thought anything of it.

Anyway, OP YANBU; the fact that he tried again is weird and skin-crawly. Personally my DH would say something to his Sister - is that an option?

@NWQM yes, I get what you mean. Although, it's not that I'm willing to put her through that again just to avoid awkwardness or a conflict. It's more that I think raising it now would lead to us not seeing my sister in law, meaning my daughter wouldn't see her cousin. They love each other and that would be awful for her

So I would go straight for claire’s/sarah’s law. If he is a known risk police/ss will be at her door.

If you say anything it will be jelousy/paranoia whatever. Your fault for seeing things that aren’t there.

Also if you say something, and he is a risk, you may drive him to being more careful about his behaviour in front of you and your sil. While still having access to the children...

In the meantime watch him and any children, and make sure he isn’t manipulating access.

Pretty sure gingerswan just meant "pro" as in she finds it acceptable, not that everyone should go round lip kissing children

Some people really try to get their back up over wording on here

Personally, I don't initiate kissing on the lips with my own child!

Next time you see him, I wouldn't even wait for the 'goodbyes' in order to say something. I'd tell him upfront, she doesn't like that, it's not appropriate. Fuck it, embarrass him, he deserves to be.