Another "no kids at wedding" thread

[havingtochangeusernameagain]

Except that my son is 16 and not invited. He is the groom's cousin, it's my husband's nephew who is getting married. DS will have finished exams/school by the time of the wedding. Info with invite says no kids.

WIBU to ask if ds can attend?

So....are you going to answer the question that's been asked multiple times? How is the invite addressed? Does it have just you and your DH, or does it say 'Family' ?

Re the bridesmaid thing - you don't ask to be bridesmaid (or for your child to be), you wait to be invited! It's manners, etiquette, basic politeness instead of grabby.
I can see why there are so many CF threads on Mumsnet.

FFS ask! But just ask politely without any passive aggressive shite.

Hi, So looking forward to your big day. I just wanted to double check the invitation was just for DH & I - and not DS? We are totally fine either way - but wanted to clarify so we didn't mess up your numbers and stuff and weren't sure if he was included.

I completely agree with you that a 16 year old is not a child and that having a blanket statement child free wedding (which they are perfectly entitled to do) is not an explanation for not inviting your teenage son. They are also perfectly entitled to not invite him, but I think it is fairly poor form, and that really they should offer a better reason for not inviting him that it being ‘no kids’, when having a 16 year old at a wedding is completely different to having a 6 year old. Is he your only child?

@ItsCurtainsForMe has composed an excellent message.

Do not ask. He's not invited, end of.

I would send a with regret card and add I’m unable to get a babysitter.

The text composed by ItsCurtainsForMe covers everything.

However, there's no point in saying it if your son doesn't want to go! Weddings can be very boring for teenagers if there aren't a few their age.

I can't imagine any 16 year old would even want to go that badly anyway. You've said yourself he's not bothered so why would you push it?

This wedding is really not about your 16 year old son, so stop making it about him! If his name is not on the invitation, he isn’t invited. Much to his relief, I would imagine...

What @ItsCurtainsForMe said. Don't overthink it.

eggs A babysitter for a 16 yr old?

LazyLizzy presumably eggs wad suggesting being ironic to underline the incongruity of grouping a 16 year old with children in either context.

I do think excluding a 16 year old who will be the only teen at the wedding by the sound of it is kinder than insisting they attend and not fraught with the practical problems excluding babies and toddlers bring obviously.