To think DS can like "girly" things without being transgender?

[Sherbety]

5 year old DS tends to go for the sort of toys that are known as "girly", lol dolls, barbies, anything unicorn related. He usually plays with girls on the playground and spends a lot of time with his cousin which is where he discovered most of these. His hair just about reaches his shoulders and he loves it, he has been mistaken for a girl a few times. SIL is convinced that he's transgender because of this, can't he simply like what he likes and be a boy? Her view seems to be that men and women must like certain things according to their gender. The other day we were over at her house, boys were playing football outside whilst my niece and DS were playing with dolls, SIL suggested he goes outside and plays football because all the boys were doing it, he hates football and she knows that. I just find her behaviour towards this as very odd

The thing that annoys me the most about all this is that just when we were starting to get some acceptance of the idea that not conforming to gender stereotypes means nothing, along comes the trans movement making a big deal of it again, just in a different direction.

Gender stereotypes are downright dangerous.

Your SIL is a fruitcake. Sadly a fruitcake that’s jumping on a modern bandwagon that misunderstands basic biology.

What do the rest of the family say when she comes out with this ignorant, offensive nonsense? I hope your little boy doesn't hear it. Good for you for staying level-headed about this.

My favourite toy when I was about 10 years old was my cousin's toy garage. Every time we went over I played with it. So much so that my mum and dad were thinking of buying me one for my 11th birthday...by which time I was into make up, music and 'pretty' things.

Your SiL is talking a load of codswallop.

Your child is simply a person. People have varied interests. It’s certainly possible he is gay or will not identify strongly with traditional male stereotypes as an adult. Right now all he needs is your love and support and for you to continue to nip gender stereotyping in the bud like you are.

Its ridiculous. Nursery staff asked me a year or so back if I thought DS was trans, because he preferred wearing the princess outfits when playing dress up..and likes some 'girly' things and had more girls as friends That was a fun conversation.

We live in such scary times. Please reassure your son that there are no girls or boys toys they are just toys. Saddens me so much kids fall down the trans rabbit hole

I’d ask her why she felt so comfortable sexualising such young children and was there anything she wanted to talk about..?

She's being absolutely ridiculous! Completely pisses me off that a child can't play with whatever they want these days without being labelled as "transgender".

When me and my sister were kids we loved race cars, He-Man, Thundercats, and actionman. We also loved Barbie, My Little Pony, The Care Bears and She-Ra! We were just kids no one labelled us at all! I hated wearing dresses and skirts, still do so don't wear them. My sister looks like a 50's housewife most of the time, with her big dresses, make-up and love for baking. Same childhood, 2 different people, both still very much female!

My dds, dd1 is almost 16, she's Autistic and very much like a teenage boy, right down to the hygiene. But she is very much a girl and will tell you she is too. She is into manga and animae, star wars and marvel.

DD2 is 12, she's always played with a mixture of "boys toys" (TMNT, etc) and "girl's toys" (My Little Pony etc). Both hate make-up and dresses and everything a teenage girl is supposed to like, but are still very much girls.

My 3 year old nephew loves Frozen (Elsa in particular), he also loves Ghostbusters, TMNT, Power Rangers and Spiderman.

Your SIL is being silly. This is my ds2 (12) earlier this week. Pretty sure he's still a boy!

This is ds2 (12) earlier this week. Pretty sure he's still a boy!

Sorry for double post. Phone had a moment!

Tell your antiquated SIL that the 1950’s would like her to give their stereotypes back, please.
The whole transgender schtick is founded on tired old stereotypes - they’re cosplaying womanhood as pink, frills, make up and heels, like a pantomime dame, as they have no basis in reality, science or biology.
Don’t let her peddle this dangerous nonsense to your son unless you want him to end up on puberty blockers and the waiting list for surgical mutilation.

Is this really still around? I was a total 'girlie girl' as a toddler; tomboy as a teen; couldn't be more girlie as a menopausal woman. My middle DS19 played with a pink pram for months as a toddler and is now a strapping 6'2" 'lads lad'.

If he was showing signs of transgenderism, (apologies to trans - not sure what the word is) it's far too early to think about it.

Nursery staff asked me a year or so back if I thought DS was trans, because he preferred wearing the princess outfits when playing dress up..and likes some 'girly' things and had more girls as friends

We're walking into a nightmare with this trans stuff. I just hope that in a few years people will look back and see it as a bizarre fad.

I’m sitting wearing jeans, a checked shirt, watching football and drinking beer.

Shit. I’m clearly transgender and didn’t realize it.

The queen trained as a mechanic and military truck driver during the war and during the war. No-one tries to trans her

....yet.

Your SIL needs putting in a box and posting far, far away from your son. I think the more we actively break down ridiculous gender stereotypes the more hope we have of coming back from the precipice we’re currently on.

My DS is 7 - we talk a lot about toys and how things are marketed towards girls or boys. He can see it’s bunkum. If the boxes were less rigid, children would feel more relaxed about experimenting without having to BE the opposite sex, which isn’t possible, obvs.

That's the only problem these days. It's great people are more tolerant nowadays, but it's becoming ridiculous now because although people are tolerant they still don't actually understand. A boy can love unicorns, ballet and barbie and be a boy, a girl can love football and climbing and rough and tumble and be a girl! It's normal.

She doesn't know what she's talking about.

Attitudes like your SIl’s are why children are being given life changing drugs and surgeries. Leave them the fuck alone.

Your SIL is nuts 🙄 ignore.

My best friend at this age & for years afterwards was a boy who loves all things frilly, flowery & girly. His mum wanted a girl so indulged it to the Max too. As an adult, I always thought he would be gay at least when he was grown.

Nope caught up some years ago at a family wedding.

He's a big bruiser of hairy assed builder who is happily married with 3 kids

Your SIL is massively over thinking things. Let your lad be

This is interesting and relevant

I am a teacher. I see a lot of boys who arent into football, wear their hair long, do more typically 'girlie' activities. It is very normal. What is abnormal is the idea that boys have a set of interests they pursue/clothes they wear/friends they have etc that MAKE them a boy, and if they do not follow those interests, they must really be a girl. Your sil is crazy. Let him be a kid who is comfortable in his own skin.

SIL is a complete idiot. A sexist idiot to boot.

XH's mum used to do that to him, he still talks about it and he's 53! He didn't want to play football, he was always going to be a zoologist, he's an arachnologist. The constant "go over the park and play football" is among many reasons why he hates his mum.

Take absolutely no notice of her OP

I am female and yet I loved my garage with "petrol pumps" and my cars and lorries, including a car transporter , and my zoo and then a farm .
I also loved my doll house my dad made me, my Sindy dolls, Girls World head , my pram etc etc .

Let your boy be whom he is , as you are doing .