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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to a wedding with DD covered in chicken pox even though they are not contagious anymore?

49 replies

VoluptuaGoodshag · 06/07/2007 10:10

DH & I at loggerheads at the mo. We have been told by the groom's mother that we are more than welcome and that no-one will mind even if she was contagious. DH feels uncomfortable about it in case other people don't want a spotty kid running around.

If she was contagious I wouldn't take her but as she won't be I don't see the problem.

OP posts:
calordan · 06/07/2007 10:12

does dh think she is still contagious

Original poster
VoluptuaGoodshag · 06/07/2007 10:12

He does. I don't.

OP posts:
ejt1764 · 06/07/2007 10:15

If the spots have scabbed over then it's not contagious ...

This should help your cause: look at the 4th paragraph

Enjoy the wedding!

ejt1764 · 06/07/2007 10:15

sorry - can't count - the 5th paragraph is the one you need!

LIZS · 06/07/2007 10:16

I would n't take the risk personally. It isn't just the wedding party you have to consider and am not convinced by the blanket "5 days then not contagious" policy, as they can still be getting fresh spots.

NotQuiteCockney · 06/07/2007 10:17

There are two rules I've heard lately for how to tell when they're contagious any more - either when the spots have scabbed over, or the fifth day after the first spot appears (I follow the fifth-day rule, as does our co-op nursery). But if your DD meets both criteria, I'd definately take her.

lemonaid · 06/07/2007 10:18

Why does he think she's contagious? If she were I definitely wouldn't take her (not fair to other guests, whatever the groom's mother may say) but if she isn't then I can't see any reason in the world not to go.

Original poster
VoluptuaGoodshag · 06/07/2007 10:20

Well the first spot appeared last Saturday for definite, perhaps before because I thought it was a midge bite, so that would be a full 7 days. I genuinely believe she is fine but that he has a problem with how she looks and thinks both she and DS should be in their beds by 8pm

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/07/2007 10:24

I'd say 7 days is borderline, are they all scabbed over?

calordan · 06/07/2007 10:27

I d say 5 days is borderline, 7 days absolutely clear

NotQuiteCockney · 06/07/2007 10:28

Well, all the stuff I've read lately says nobody has ever caught it after 5 days. So you're well over that, you should be fine.

carbonara · 06/07/2007 10:30

hmmm, I've never had chicken pox and I guess if I was a guest at the wedding I would feel a bit worried about catching it. Its more serious for adults.
There are also people for whom catching it would cause complications (pregnant lgies, chemotherepy patients etc...)

Original poster
VoluptuaGoodshag · 06/07/2007 10:37

Carbonara - I have considered that and would not take her if I thought she was contagious because of it.

OP posts:
calordan · 06/07/2007 10:38

my dd2 had her 3rd birthday party on day 6, and no she didnt pass it on

Original poster
VoluptuaGoodshag · 06/07/2007 10:41

She definitely had two last Saturday but I didn't realise it was chicken pox until Tuesday when all the others appeared. So does that mean it's only been 3 days really?

OP posts:
calordan · 06/07/2007 10:42

no

first spots appeared staurday thats when you count from

Original poster
VoluptuaGoodshag · 06/07/2007 10:49

Heck it is so confusing. Some say sites once all are scabbed over, others 5 days, 7 days, 10-14 days.

OP posts:
calordan · 06/07/2007 10:51

the advice a doctor would give you ie through the BMA, is 5 days, but even is she is not contagious will your dh want her to go

TootyFrooty · 06/07/2007 10:53

My pg s-i-l caught chicken pox from a scabbed over toddler. And she developed shingles which still causes her problems 2 years later.

LIZS · 06/07/2007 10:53

that's true calordan, do you really want to be repeatedly explaining that she is not contagious when asked about her spots, will you relax ? It sounds as if your dh doesn't really want to go himself....

Original poster
VoluptuaGoodshag · 06/07/2007 10:56

That's the issue. Here is what he said ..

I feel very uncomfortable turning up with a wee girl covered (and she is still
covered in unblistered spots) who is still coughing only to expect her to sit through a boring church wedding (which he (DS)certainly won't so I'll be outside) and then sit through speeches and a meal (all very boring for a child) and have everyone around her very uncomfortable, let alone make us appear selfish.

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 06/07/2007 10:58

Tooty was the baby ok? I just wouldn't take the risk of harming someone else or their baby.

TootyFrooty · 06/07/2007 11:01

Baby was fine. S-i-l wasn't. Her shingles were so bad she couldn't handle being touched. She couldn't wear a bra (the sores were all round her bra line) and she had massive, milk laden boobs. My db and sil don't speak to the parents anymore (even though they apologised) and db accused them of "monstrous selfishness".

mozhe · 06/07/2007 11:04

To be safe....and avoid uncomfortable feeligs for all those who don't understand the 5/7 day thingy...don't take her...park her with doting granny,( or similar ), and go with your DH..enjoy !

TootyFrooty · 06/07/2007 11:07

Agree 100% with mozhe. Lots of people don't know about/believe the 5/7/whatever day thing. Not worth pissing people off imho.