To discuss shaving/plucking with DD?

[springwashing]

DD is 13. She has really obviously hairy legs and quite thick eyebrows. She's very pretty but more of a tomboy, wearing jeans and hoodies and doing lots of sports.

All her mates seem to have reached the stage where they are shaving/plucking/HD brows etc. It's not the eyebrows so much, I quite like that she isn't into make up. But isn't it more of a socially acceptable thing to shave your legs?

Now I'm certainly not one to suggest that she followed the crowd and gives in to peer pressure etc. But it's like she doesn't even notice, and I'm worried if this would lead to bullying or anything. Not that I would want her to follow just to be liked, so I'm probably answering my own question really.

I don't know, should I just wait until she wants to do such things and let her enjoy herself how she is? Or should I be dropping the odd hint, or maybe buying her a ladyshave or something?

This has probably come out all wrong, I think maybe I'm just worried I'm not doing this "parenting of a teen" thing very well!

To be honest please just let her come to you. If she isn’t phased by it then don’t give her insecurities over it.

Let her decide what she wants to do.

Just ask her if she'd like to pluck her eyebrows/shave her legs. It could be that she wants to but is embarrassed to bring it up. I remember being horribly shy about things like that at her age, not helped by my mum refusing to acknowledge these were things that a teen might need/want to discuss.

If she says she doesn't want to, fine, she's happy as she is. If she does want to, you can give her the help she needs.

My dd's came to me when they wanted to start shaving, but i think i would ask her if she's interested in giving it a go, if she's not, thats fine, leave it until she comes to you.

Just say straight up

if you ever do want to shave your legs let me know and I'll buy you a ladyshave

She might be too embarrassed to ask you

I'd just leave it. It's not like it was when we were kids, they have so much beauty information at their fingertips now. Also her friends presumably talk about this sometimes if they all do it. If she wants to remove any body hair then I'm sure she'd have an idea about it already and be asking you if she can get a razor, go for a wax etc.

Don't mention it. Don't drop hints, don't do anything.

She will depilate if and when she wants to. Some do so young, others later or never. It is really not up to you to nudge her one way or another.

Let her decide with no pressure.

If communication with you is good, she'll ask when she's ood and ready. Or just get in with it, if you keep spare razors and a tube of cream (notionally for your use) somewhere where she can get at them

Yeah I think that's my thinking - torn between not wanting to give her issues and not wanting her to be too embarrassed to ask. We have good communication but she's not girly so she doesn't talk about that kind of stuff.

I wish my mum had brought this up. I remember comments about my legs which were upsetting, and secretly using my brothers shaver to do my armpits before ballet class. Please ask her - or just buy one and let her know she can use it when/if she chooses.

Don't mention it to her. Regarding shaving her legs; the first time someone makes a comment about hairy legs she'll tell you and you can show her what to do. Then no more hairy legs so no more comments.
If you really think her eyebrows need plucking take her to a salon.

Do you hide when you shave your legs? If its an open thing then she'll be able to come to you when she's ready
Please don't make a thing of it . She may never want to shave her legs. The world is changing - and hopefully teenagers now might not feel the same pressures we felt when we were. Let her be

Wait till she brings it up with you. Dont hide it or lock the door when you shave your own legs so that she can ask about it.

If the hairs are very visible on her legs I would mention. Would try to be as sensitive/casual as possible. Eg be in shops and pick up razors for yourself and say "your legs probably aren't hairy yet but if you want razors just let me know."

Hairs are very visible.

I don't hide but I am always showered before she wakes so she has probably never seen me.

I'd offer to take her to get her legs waxed and her eyebrows done professionally, but not put any pressure on if she's not ready.

I wouldn't encourage shaving, it makes them prickly and sore. And no way would I encourage a teenager to pluck their own brows!

I go to an Asian salon, it's ladies only and a nice place to relax. And much cheaper than other salons around here. I get my eyebrows threaded and everything else waxed, every 2-3 months. When DD is a teenager I plan to take her with me.

I remember botching my eyebrows with tweezers as a teenager and rubbing my legs raw with a silkymit to keep on top of the stubble!

Just leave her be.

Offer help if asked for. But also make clear that it’s her choice and not all women remove hair and it’s natural and not disgusting. That’s so important. She may want to do it while at school through peer pressure and embarrassment which is understandable. But she may change her mind when she gets older and think “fuck it”.

No, don’t say anything.

No matter how you phrase it, it’ll be obvious that you have noticed and think she needs to do something about it. She doesn’t. Plenty of teens don’t.

You could reorganise the bathroom supplies a bit. Show her where you're keeping the spare shampoo, shower gel, razors, etc. if she needs any. It's a bit of a roundabout way, but she'll know she can use them if she wants. I think that's what I'd prefer at that age.

i have a DD in their 20s who has never shaved their legs. not even for prom at high school.

leave her be!

Some people are reacting here as if the OP is trying to force her daughter into something.

There is nothing wrong with a teenager making her own decisions on this, but equally, there is nothing wrong in a mother making a daughter aware of what is available.

If when I was a teenager my mum had asked about me shaving my legs I would have been mortified.
I'd then have felt like it was something I should be doing even if I hadn't previously considered.

If she knows where things are kept she'll either just do it, or speak to you when she's ready. Maybe add a bathroom clean to her chores or something so she can see where things are without you having to mention it?

What Meyouandbabytoo said.

Yes I'm certainly not forcing her. I'm just worried that by not saying anything, I'm being a bad mum too.

Like dads take the boys off to teach them how to shave when needed don't they?

Argh I don't know!

No I think bringing it up is alluding to the fact you think she should.

It also very much depends on your relationship, have these things just never been discussed? Maybe she feels it’s a taboo subject if she’s never seen you shave (oh how I envy you! I can’t shower without DD and ddog coming in to chat/gawk!)

I wouldn't say anything. She might never want to shave her legs/ pluck her eyebrows. I wouldn't make it seem like it's something women 'should' do iyswim?