Holiday with just me and dad

[Practicallyperfectwithprosecco]

Family consists of me dh my daughter 15 his daughter 13 and our son 6

I'm a teacher so have all summer free
Dh is struggling to get leave during summer holidays so family holiday won't happen.

Dd13 is going away for 2 weeks with her mum

Dd15 has had a really rough couple of years struggling with mental health issues which we are finally starting to see a light at the end of a horrible tunnel with.

We thought it would be an idea that me and my daughter go away somewhere hot for a week or so so we can have quality mum and daughter time together whilst our other daughter is away with her mum.

That would leave our son at home with dh. Ds would be quite happy at a football academy thing whilst dh is at work so he wouldn't be missing out on fun stuff.

Both my mum and his parents think this is a dreadful idea and if we can't holiday together we shouldn't holiday at all. My best friend then pulled a face when I told her and said it's not what she would do.

So am I being unreasonable and spoiling one child over the others? As I have been told I will be doing?

Bugger title should say dd not dad - bloody autocorrect

What does DH think? I am sure you can plan a nice trip with your ds another time. Worry about what your immediate family think rather than your parents

Go for it if you feel your son it not missing out. Your step daughter certainly isn't missing out as she's having holiday with her mom.
Family holiday is good but no reason you and dd should miss out because dh can't sort his leave out

If it’s not what your sister would do, obviously you can’t do it. Plus your parents disapprove. How can you even consider it?

Or, to put it another way, you’re an adult who understands the dynamics in her own family and should do what YOU think best, rather than listening to nosy relatives.

I think you should take your dd and ds away at the time your other dsd is with her mum on holiday. You can get some time with your dd while ds is maybe in the kids club or playing football.
It seems odd not to take your ds away too.

Sounds lovely

Sorry, your friend, not your sister.

YANBU at all. Sounds like a good plan.

I wouldn't do it. Just book somewhere that has football academy type activities for your son and he can do that during the day, whilst you spend some time with your daughter.

I only think it works if you also take a separate holiday with DS, then all kids get mum one-to-one time on a holiday.

So long as DS would not be upset, do it!

Yes I would do it, a grown up type holiday would be no interest to your DS. However I would also book a few day activities just you and him over the summer so he gets 1:1 time as well.

It sounds like a great idea. Your DSD is with her mother, your DS can have some one on one time with his father and you can have some bonding time with your DD.

What does DH think? It was his idea. Before I met him I was a single mum for 7 years - her bio dad walked out the week she was due and not been in her life. She was used to life just being me and her then it changed massively and she took a while to adjust. Happy with her family now but usual teenage moans about days out, holidays etc having to suit youngest.

We thought it would be a nice break to go somewhere that wasn't full of little people.

If I go somewhere with the 2 children I'm going to be spending a lot of time supervising the youngest - not a fan of sticking them in kids clubs on holiday as the whole idea is family time. That then defeats idea of having time with dd.

Maybe I should stay home ds does football activities and I just do days shopping with dd.

How does your son feel about you going abroad without him?

The DS is 6. He’ll still be going away with his parents in 10 years when his older sister is 25 and might have DC of her own.

At 6 he should be fine in a club and can spend time with just his dad. You can spend time on holiday with your dd. Then next year do a joint holiday, this can be just a one off, but one that suits your family. Don’t listen to your mum and sister. You know your family and what is best for them, especially if this is a one off

DS would be fine, he is easily pleased.

DD wants to go to a Greek island and chill - the other 2 would be bored with this, their idea of holidays is the all inclusive holiday village type that we normally do. DD has outgrown those holidays and we probably won't have many more before she wants to go with friends not parents.

Sounds lovely! I would definitely do it if I were you.

Sounds like a great idea. Both me and my siblings have been away one on one with our Dad plenty of times. Maybe your DS could go on a lads long weekend with your DH (Butlins or something) at some point then all three will have had a holiday.

If your DH and DS are fine with it, then that’s all that matters! Enjoy :)

Great idea. Presumably you can do a family trip another time, maybe half term, or a long weekend of their choosing.

Just do it!

Both girls get a holiday with their own Mums, and your DS can stay home with his Dad and eat McD’s every day (if that’s his thing).

Don’t allow yourself to be made to feel guilty for having a lovely holiday with your daughter.

If your son won't be bothered then go! It sounds lovely.

My mum and I had a holiday together to Egypt when I was about 18. My brother was still based at home, although at uni mostly, but wasn't bothered regardless; it wasn't his kind of holiday.

I would do it, you get quality mum and daughter time and you won can enjoy football and time with his dad. Your son will still be having family holidays when your daughter doesn't want to go with you anymore.