To have had stern words with DS about calling in sick when he isn't?

[Eudorapatch]

Background: DS is 17 and at college. He has a part time job in a food retailer, his shifts vary but in general he does 1 afternoon/ evening in the week and a day at the weekend. Hes been working there since August/ September and has only missed 1 shift when we were all ill with stomach bugs.

DS also has a girlfriend who lives 5+ hours away. She arrived last Saturday and despite me telling DS I expected her to only stay until Thursday (her arrival was sprung on me 48 hours beforehand) she is still here but going home today.

DS is meant to be working 11-7 today but has called in sick. He's not sick he is just skiving.

I said that was pretty stupid of him and if he loses this job it will be his own fault. He thinks I am being completely unfair and horrible for having a go at him as 'everyone' skips work and it's only 1 day.

So AIBU?

It's not all about his enjoyment though is it? It's about the inconvenience he's caused to others. If he wanted to enjoy being with his gf, the mature way to go about it would have been to try and swap shifts or at least let someone know in advance that he wasn't going to be in, not to lie and drop them in it at the last moment.

I think some people are over reacting. I’ve been working years and yes I’ve pulled the odd sick day when I wasn’t really sick and the world didn’t stop turning! I didn’t lose my job, it didn’t become a “habit”. It’s like saying everyone who drinks an alcoholic drink will become an alcoholic! It’s one day! There’s been other days when I’ve geuinely been unwell and dragged myself in anyway, because I knew I was needed for an important meeting or because I knew I had a packed day and the work would fall to my colleagues if I wasn’t there. So it’s swings and roundabouts imo.

Sorry, that was in response to Hamilton.

Agree with Coughing and laughing!

Could well end up with a warning or the sack for 2 absences in 6 months.
Having been a retail manager in the past it is a massive ball ache when the Saturday staff go sick. Others end up having to work 11-12 hour days, often the managers, missing time with their family and friends.

Disclaimer: I was also a part time retail worker once and pulled a couple of sickies to do something more fun. Can see both sides :-)

To PPs, many people have never pulled a sickie. If you would still get paid, then not working when you are capable of doing so is basically stealing, as well as letting down people who depend on you. On the one hand, yes, only a teen part-time job, and perhaps in this case he wouldn't get paid for unworked days, but attitudes and habits do start to stick at that age. I'd make it very clear that I disapproved, OP. YANBU.

He won’t get sacked for missing two shifts since August/September, if there’s a policy around absence & how many times per year is the threshold (3 in a 12 month rolling period of 10 consequent days off) or the Bradford factor score has been hit (unlikely in this scenario) he would go to a meeting and likely receive a verbal warning unless there was mitagating circumstances. Very rare anyone gets sacked for 2 occasions of absence alone, probationary period may be extended but it depends on their policy.

OP - I probably would chat with him about it once his girlfriend has left but it wouldn’t be a stern conversation. He’s hardly done this on a regular basis & is his first time actually pulling a sickie so I wouldn’t go all guns blazing.

If he was working full time then I wouldn’t blink at an ‘occasional’ sickie. But he’s been doing 2 shifts a week for about 6 months and has called in sick twice. That is not a great record. However he is 17 and if he is anything like my DC that means he knows everything and won’t listen to his parents so there is no point in saying anything else to him.

Zero contract jobs can be really harsh and that’s what I’m guessing he’s under since it’s a food retailer. All it took was two sickies when I was pregnant for me to be forced to resign! It’s hard that people aren’t excused as some could be generally ill but I suppose it’s those who phone in after a night out that ruins it for the rest of us

Asta19 I'm guessing you don't employ people. Trust me, it's a bloomin' nightmare to have to find cover at the last minute (and costly). Ours is a small business with 12/14 employees and we are family friendly, accommodating of caring responsibilities and ill health and training opportunities elsewhere etc and try to be as flexible as possible. ..the majority of people really appreciate it and work hard...and then sadly every so often someone comes along and takes the Michael... sorry to say, not in every case, but they are usually young .

Sanguineclamp

That’s a fair point. My job is different in that some days you could be off without it making a difference and other days it would be a complete nightmare for your colleagues. Hence why I have dragged myself in on occasion when I wasn’t well. I don’t like to leave anyone in the shit, so to speak.

No "everyone" doesn't do it.

I too would have had words. What's all this "it's only a minimum wage job and he's only young" bollocks. He is a young adult with responsibilities to his employer and his colleagues. I speak as a shop worker who has had to cover shifts for colleagues who only work 1 or 2 shifts a week and can' t even manage that.

We have just sacked someone at my work for doing the same thing.

Out of curiosity..how did you know they weren't ill? I guess they could have been pure taking the pis, calling in sick for a migraine then spotted 5 mins later in a nightclub o something I guess. One of FILs employees we suspected of just pulling sickies all the time but could never prove it.

I wouldn't be happy with him, but its his life I guess. And yeah, I have done it myself when younger, not just for the day off mind, I did feel ill but it was self inflicted stuff like hangovers that I really should have just sucked up.

Aye Asta to be fair I suppose supermarkets will probably have in-built strategies for when this happens, and cover in hand, so the consequences won't be as bad as in a small office - not sure - but it's the principle of the thing I suppose.

I know I am old-fashioned but I think youngsters benefit themselves by being honest and reliable. Sometimes I think we've lost the notion of building self esteem by earning it through the satisfaction of a job well done etc.

(Obviously not referring to this individual case btw. It's not the end of the world as he's been a regular attendee up to now. It's only serious if it develops in to a regular thing.)

OP were you hoping we'd blame the GF?

I know some posters are going to reply to this with 'it's his home too' but I'd be thinking more about how it's OK to land you with a visitor (did he ask you, or tell you?) and then for her to stay much longer than you expected. Because it's your home too! He might be 17 and besotted, but it's still OK to have boundaries.

And yes a lot of people think nothing of calling in sick when they're not, but certainly not everyone. I think that at the very least it was important to tell him you disapproved, rather than letting him think you were fine with it. You might tell him that if his employers were to ring, you wouldn't cover for him (although to be fair, if he's rung in 'sick' they shouldn't be phoning anyway).

If he cba to do the job then he should pack it in & let someone who could have it imo.

we’ve all done when teenagers haven’t we? Well myself and my friends have. Once isn’t a big deal but I would try to show my son that I didn’t agree with it, but ultimately I don’t think I’d be hugely annoyed. Are you not glad you don’t have to entertain the girlfriend for 8 hours while your sons at work?

He’s 17, his gf is visiting. Fast food isn’t going to be his career I presume. Give him a break, it’s a minimum wage, shitty job, let him have a bloody life.

How does him skipping his shitty job affect you? (Clue: it doesnt)

Where did OP blame the GF?
He didn't go into work because his GF was there. That's a reason. And his fault.

If he was so desperate to see his GF why didn't he do the adult thing and book time off?

And people wonder why there is a culture of laziness.

It affects other people when you work in a team.
I'd be speaking to him if he thinks so little of his colleagues and openly said that lying is acceptable.

I can't see the OP blaming the girlfriend at all.

She's the reason he's pulled a sickie insofar as he's done it to be with her but that doesn't mean it's her fault. Ultimately he's done it because he thinks it's OK to lie to his employer.

A lot of places do sack you if you take a few days off sick. And they don't care if you really were sick or not.

Regardless, it is very poor to lie to his employer. You can't expect them to treat you well if you can't be bothered to turn up.

Not everyone pulls a sickie I never have. Wish I had the confidence to but would probably make myself ill with the stress of it!

Sanguineclamp I don’t disagree with you. Unfortunately I think it’s harder to do that in the current climate of 0 hours contracts. They don’t get sick pay (so the person upthread who called it stealing, OP’s son most likely didn’t get paid for being off). They have no real rights. They’re reliant on what hours they’re given etc.

I think a good working relationship is a two way street between employers and employees. Respect for your employer and from your employer is really important to me. If that’s in place I will do everything in my power to do a good job and not let them down in anyway. And that could be in any job. Years ago I had a washing up job in an old people’s home. But they treated me well and I liked them so I never let them down. But if I’m treated like crap? Then no, don’t expect me to really care. Does that mean I don’t have a good work ethic? I don’t know. It’s just what I believe is fair.