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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worrying now about our holiday

57 replies

sillymillie · 23/02/2019 09:18

More of a WWYD. Have booked a family holiday end of August, paid a deposit and a lot of money to reserve exit seats on the plane which DH likes. Package so far includes flights and one hotel but need to book another separately for second week.

DS is in first year at university. I checked with him ages ago that he would be free in August and he said yes. Now he tells me that if he fails any of his exams in May the retakes will be exactly when our holiday is. This seems very unlikely as he's doing well and he passed first set of exams easily. The next exams are more of the same modules he's just taken.

He's not at all worried but I am!

I don't have to pay the balance of the holiday until after his results. So worst case scenario is that he has to resit, we don't go and we lose deposit and seat reservation costs. Have checked insurance and it covered for reasons like this. Not that I thought it would!

I think I should wait until after his results to book second hotel.

WWYD?

OP posts:
reallybadidea · 23/02/2019 09:22

Would you not just go without him if he fails and needs to resit? Confused

DisplayPurposesOnly · 23/02/2019 09:23

Tell DS to work hard and pass his exams, as you'll be going without him otherwise!

ZenNudist · 23/02/2019 09:27

Hes an adult. Go without him

showmethegin · 23/02/2019 09:28

Agree with pp, if he has to resit he can't go, I don't see why the rest of you can't though? He must be at least 18 if he is at uni?!

Original poster
sillymillie · 23/02/2019 09:28

I don't think we'd go without him if I'm honest!

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 23/02/2019 09:29

Why on earth wouldn’t you go without him? In the nicest possible way, get a grip.

reallybadidea · 23/02/2019 09:30

Why on earth not?! Why should the rest of the family miss out because he failed his exams, that wouldn't be fair on them!

Foodylicious · 23/02/2019 09:31

If you are not too worried about the 2nd hotel then I would wait to book it too.

Is there a chance that everywhere might be booked though?

MynameisJune · 23/02/2019 09:31

He’s at least 18, tell him you’re going without him. I’m actually surprised he even wants a family holiday. Maybe he’s actually just looking for an excuse not to go.

Foodylicious · 23/02/2019 09:32

Oh, when does he get the results?

Dieu · 23/02/2019 09:33

I echo the others. 100% go without him. We can't live our lives around our children forever!

Original poster
sillymillie · 23/02/2019 09:35

Results early June I think.

I know, I need to get a grip but was so excited about this booking and now am fucked off.

OP posts:
Pk37 · 23/02/2019 09:35

Have you though he may not actually want to go?
My ds is also in his first year and he’s chosen to stay home as he wants to revise , get a summer job and plan a holiday with his new uni friends and catch up with the old ones .
Could it be that he’s agreed and now has changed his mind ?

woolduvet · 23/02/2019 09:35

Yep I'd go without him. He's at uni, left home etc.

Lazypuppy · 23/02/2019 09:35

As if you would cancel your entire holiday because your son, who is an adult, fails some exams. This is his motivation, if he doesn't pass, he doesn't get a holiday. Simple.

reallybadidea · 23/02/2019 09:36

I don't think I know anybody who failed their first year exams. He'll be fine, stop worrying and book that hotel!

ZenNudist · 23/02/2019 09:37

You need to get used to going on holiday without him

DisplayPurposesOnly · 23/02/2019 09:39

Two grips needed:

  • you're worrying about something that hasn't happened and there's no reason to think will happen

  • you really can go on holiday without him.

Grin
Original poster
sillymillie · 23/02/2019 09:40

Oh he definitely wants to go. Unless he's doing a good job pretending. In which case if he fails his exams he might stand a chance at RADA. 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
sillymillie · 23/02/2019 09:41

Also as stupid parents are paying

OP posts:
Original poster
sillymillie · 23/02/2019 09:42

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Sophiesdog11 · 23/02/2019 09:43

Why on earth wouldn’t you go without him? In the nicest possible way, get a grip.

This, exactly. What would you have done if he was going away with mates? I think having DC join you on hols after 18 is a bonus, you shouldn’t expect it to happen (mine are almost 19 and 21 and still happy to join us most of time but fine if they don’t)

I have a DS who has done 2yrs at uni, one of his school contemporaries has scraped both years despite being an A* student, his mum would have no qualms about going without him.

DS friend had re-sits last year, he had to come straight back from a summer placement abroad for them, instead of travelling with others. I am sure he learned a valuable lesson from it ready for his final year.

It sounds like this will be a non-issue anyway, if he is working and passed first lot of exams. Just book the hotel, tell him to keep working so he doesn’t have to miss his holiday, and go without him if he fails.

Waveysnail · 23/02/2019 09:43

Of course u go without him. I never went on holiday with parents when I started uni. I encouraged them to go when it was cheap then I went with bf or mates

BlueCornishPixie · 23/02/2019 09:44

He probably won't fail. Especially not with the incentive of a holiday. It's also highly unlikely that he'd fail all the exams, so there's a good chance he would be able to come after remakes worst case scenario.

He's in his first year of uni, your going to have to get used to going without him. No point wasting the whole holiday. Don't worry about it.

uggmum · 23/02/2019 09:48

We had that scenario last year. We had booked a villa and flights well in advance and were unaware of exam resits.
My dd failed one exam and had to resit halfway through our holiday.
She missed a week of the holiday and we had to buy a new flight

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