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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my friend is stalking me

81 replies

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/02/2019 19:25

A bit of an exaggeration but my friend seems to spookily know when I arrive home and always seems to know if i'm out. At first I put it down to co-incidence but now it seems to happen to much for it to be a coincidence

I've checked all my facebook settings but they don't show my location.

Another really weird thing is that a little while ago I had a exchange student lets call him Pete, staying with me who used to walk into town every morning to get to college. My friend said to me once, "Does Pete always wear that checked shirt, hasn't he got any others?" Pete did seem to wear his checked shirt a lot but i'd never even introduced her to him and they hadn't met?????

AIBU to wonder whats going on?

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2019 20:13

It's not foxes that have been going through your bins....

Does anybody else remember the thread from a little while ago where the OP's anxious DM constantly tracked her with an app (initially with the OP's permission, before realising what a huge can of worms she'd opened) - and would constantly call her demanding an explanation as to why she was doing perfectly normal everyday things that were very slightly out of her usual pattern?

DpWm · 22/02/2019 20:14

How very strange.

How do you know she/he knows when you're in/out, does s/he send messages to you about where you are, like "enjoy your Big Mac" or is s/he appearing at your door?

MamehaSan · 22/02/2019 20:17

You can share your location via Whatsapp too...

MrsWillGardner · 22/02/2019 20:18

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Yes I remember this one!! Wonder what happened with that Hmm

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 22/02/2019 20:18

I’m sure I’ve read a similar thread before - can’t remember much about it though which isn’t much help. 🤣

WarpedGalaxy · 22/02/2019 20:20

If it’s the Find Friends app on iPhone you need to go to Settings -> Privacy -> Location Services -> Find Friends - then select Never. That only shows your location on a map though it doesn’t explain how she knew about Pete’s shirt.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 22/02/2019 20:21

What does she say to indicate that she knows when you get in or leave the house? Does she just know your routine really well or does she know even when the times are randomised?

DobbinsVeil · 22/02/2019 20:27

Any chance it's as simple as her seeing you walk past her house?
Do you have CCTV?

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 22/02/2019 20:29

Are there any traffic cams available for public online viewing nearby? She might be able to see your car come and go and could see Pete walking to college.

Chelseajunior · 22/02/2019 20:35

You'll probably get a text this evening
Saying something along the lines of 'was that you posting about me on mumsnet' lol

Janethevirgo · 22/02/2019 20:41

Next time she says something suspicious just say jokingly I didn’t know you had me under surveillance

FaithInfinity · 22/02/2019 20:41

There was a massive fall out in my extended family when one person got fed up of another family commenting on his whereabouts - ended up having a huge row!

I would think she’s following you through phones but I would gently phase this person out. Too abrupt and she may boil your bunny but do you really want to stay friends with someone who stalks you?!

JaneyJimplin · 22/02/2019 20:41

But even if she knew your phone location, that doesn't explain Pete's shirt.

I think she just happens to walk past your house and spotted him most mornings.

How do you mean she knows when you're home? Give some examples of what she's said and done to make you think she's stalking you?

AcrossthePond55 · 22/02/2019 21:09

I hate to sound all 'single white female', but exactly how long have you known this friend and how well do you know her?

Original poster
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/02/2019 21:18

Well, as soon as I get in from work she pops up and says "how was work" I work very differing shifts so don't have a regular routine

OP posts:
WarpedGalaxy · 22/02/2019 21:21

Bloody hell that’s got to be annoying, even if she isn’t stalking you she’s smothering you, who texts their friends to ask how was work every day?

zzzzz · 22/02/2019 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 22/02/2019 21:26

'Pops up' how? In person, on your phone or on some other tech in your house? It could be that just switching something on in your house alerts her. My son plays Xbox and it tells him when his friends turn on their Xboxes.

Original poster
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/02/2019 21:32

pops up in facebook messenger. anyway I've turned location services off now

OP posts:
LuckyLou7 · 22/02/2019 21:38

Perhaps she was secretly shagging Pete and living in your house all the time AND YOU NEVER KNEW Shock ShockShock

hellololabells2019 · 22/02/2019 21:39

Perhaps just ask her how she knew Pete had the checked shirt

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 22/02/2019 21:41

I had a friend doing something similar for a while. She lived nearby and every time I went to the park with the kids or took the dog for a walk she would send a msg saying “looking pretty in pink” or similar. Every single time. Drove me batty. Eventually I jokingly accused her of stalking me and she stopped. I don’t think she realised how she was making me feel.

sizzledrizz · 22/02/2019 21:55

I had this for a while, turned out she could see my house from her house and knew one of my neighbours. So she knew when I was in, when I left my car at home, what my boyfriend looked like, what time he arrived and left. Luckily she moved away

Fairenuff · 22/02/2019 21:56

BLUNDER

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 22/02/2019 21:57

Ask her!

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