to ask you who loves you?

[Dohee]

My dc 100% Well 99% I think.

My parents about 90% each

Nobody else lol.

My cats
My partner
My kids.

I probably wouldn’t have listed anyone else...but I went through a hard time recently and was overwhelmed with visits, messages, cards and offers of support from friends. You may have more people who love you than you realise!

What about .... who do you love unconditionally?

Easy answer Taff. DC and Dparents only.
May be why nobody loves me lol!

I understand what you mean.

I suggested a fairly new friend speaks to her sister re relationship troubles and she said they don't have that relationship. I felt awful! I'm close to both of my siblings (brothers) so I have no understanding of what it's like to not be.

For me, it's really hard to imagine that people have no one to turn to for support. I make sure the people closest to me know they can turn up at my house whenever they need to.

My kids, my parents, definitely one of my aunties! The rest of the family would.say they do, and i would say the same of them, but in a much more "remote" way.

Maybe one or two of my friends.

I'm a good friend, but friends over the years have needed different things from me that I could not give them. E.g. One friend getting married abroad. I just didn't have the money to go to her wedding.

If it was my dd, I'd have travelled the world two times over to be there.

Maybe I'm a crap friend. My friends are scattered around the world now and I've made none here in London. London isn't a friendly place and being sort of middle aged doesn't lend itself to making friends. I should maybe take up knitting or something. Crochet? Flower arranging?

OP note that it's not quantity that's important it's quality!! Love is just a word until two people give it meaning. My love for others sometimes overwhelmed me and I'm just grateful for the opportunity to love. 🥰

I love my siblings, but it's not that fierce primordial love if you get me?

I'm single now but even when in a relationship and very much in love, that love was nothing compared to how I feel for my dc. That is a whole other ball game. It's the kind of love that would make you take a bullet, walk over hot coal, go to jail for them, destroy yourself, just to keep them alive.

Maybe I have a high threshold for what I consider love to be.

And when the chips were down, none of my friends stepped up.

My DP, My two DC, My grandchildren, My siblings and then just friends who like me

I just wonder whether I'm missing out on something that everyone else takes for granted. Maybe they've never needed to put the friendship to the test. But from my experience, friends like you, but they don't love you.

I'm not sure any one does... think I'm just a convenience. Fell down the stairs the other day. At 28 weeks pregnant. 3 dc said oh she just fell down the stairs again. second Time I have done it. Dh said can you feel baby move I said yes. He said ah you will be ok then.... no one asked or checked if I was ok or helped. That's when it dawned on me... I'm just a house slave! Dm nc. Df died. Dnan lives too far away. And she wasn't bothered when I told her. I fell from the top too.... nice to feel loved I bet.

My son
My husband
My parents
My sister
My niece and nephews
My ex husband (still very close friends)
Certainly 6-7 close friends

Do you want better friends? You sound unhappy but if you’re not and you are fine as you are but curious that’s ok too.
Have you tried getting closer to your existing acquaintances? Maybe if you suggested meeting up more they’d be happy to do it. I know myself that I can be lazy and in a bit of a bubble but if an acquaintance asks me round for a coffee or a drink I’ll make the effort to go. I’ll also always help anyone in need of any of the school mums for example needed something I would help them even if we don’t hang out together.

To answer you question outside of my direct family and in laws then I have 2 very good friends who I’ve known for 25 years who would come in the middle of the night if I needed anything. They’re closer to me than my own sister is (we have a bit of a troubled relationship).

If you feel unloved get a dog, I have two who don't just love me, they absolutely worship me. You don't tend to get that unguarded worship from a human being!

Other than the dogs, my husband, my kids, my parents and my sister love me I guess. Fairly normal. Oh and eight chickens.

My kids, my husband, my parents, my sister, my best friend, my aunt. I feel very loved, it's quite lovely.

DS, DD, DP, DF, DM, DB
Reuben (cat)
Hope my friends like me a lot!

(((((((Hugs))))) OP and everyone

Dd, dh, dog, my mum

OK brace yourselves for some self-pity.

I know DS1 does, hard to tell with DS2. DP probably does out of habit/convenience/wouldn't want to go back to live with his dad in his late 40s).

My sister will say "love ya" if we 'bump into' each other on Facebook but I think that's just out of habit. I recently did a hideously indulgent post about DS2's challenging behaviour ramping up and him starting to self harm and all I got was a "Aw hugs"

That's the lot. Before my parents died I would have 2 more people on the list, but I'll look forward to not receiving any birthday cards tomorrow.

sob

Aside from the ones who have to (parents, DC, DH) the cats, the dogs and a few friends definitely love me. Not masses, just enough to fill my bucket.

In terms of quantity our puppy loves me more than anyone else on earth; he cried when he saw me walking the bin down the drive this morning, thats how much he loves my company!

Sometimes children at school sometimes bring me pictures with "I love you" written on them and although it's a different thing, I always keep them on the wall behind my class desk because it's such a wonderful statement for someone so young to make.

I forgot the dog and cat. It's cupboard love, but at least it's constant.

No parents left alive, no children, no partner.
One aunt who I think did love me but is now retreating into extreme old age and dementia.
One sister to whom I'm very close (although her partner is obviously and rightly her priority). One brother who hasn't responded to any contact in a year.
Some good friends, but only one of them who constantly has my back (and me hers)
So, one sister, one friend and two cats. God, that's a bit bleak.