To ask; If you were poor in your 30's, did things improve?

[moneyworries9]

I'm feeling a little down tonight. Trying to clear debts and it's just an uphill struggle, I worry that this will be mine & my families future.

I'm 30 years old and curious to know if those of you who struggled to make ends meet at this stage managed to turn things around?

Backstory: I'm a SAHM to 2 small DC and DH works (a lot). We are not on the property ladder and have over £4,000 of debt.

In my 30’s I became a single mum to 4 children. Was on IS for a while with about £8k of debt in my name because ex couldn’t get credit (yes, hindsight is wonderful!).

Now in my 40’s and debt is all paid off and I have savings. My job is low paid and I rely on tax credits to help but I’m training too which hopefully will boost my income before the tax credits end (youngest is nearly 10). So yes it is possible to make changes and improvements and it is easier as the kids grow up as more options open up - for example I can work different hours now my children are older and I can concentrate on studying because they do meow themselves. It takes time but things get easier.

I was skint throughout my 20s by 30 things were looking up, esp when dh and I got together, then another period of having to be v careful w money when the kids were tiny (but that wasnt like being poor because we had a mortgage and aittle savings, just no free cash after bills were paid).

Ime kids do get more expensive as they get older but its easier to deal with because your opportunities for earning more are greater (we also stopped at 2 and Im glad now cause w 3 things would be v v tight) And it sounds like you have a plan for the medium term.

Yes, they did. I started my 30s knowing I had to pick up a certain amount of overtime hours in order to afford food. We had a house but couldn't afford furniture so we had a blow up bed and camp chairs for 10 months.

I'm now 38 and dp is 40. Our lives are very comfortable and we are affording a big holiday this year. We have savings.

Yes they did, partly as my early 30s were the era of high interest rates.

I was in a similar position early 20s (had kids young) and now early 30s much stronger position, no debt, own home (kids in school so disposable income improved). So yes it did get better, but I was never a SAHM I developed my career with small children, not easy and expensive in the short term but it's meant we've got the lifestyle we want for them now they're still young.

Oh and just to add my husband goes away a lot with work too, so I sympathise!

Well having sadly just turned 50 (groans) my 30's were twenty years back! 20yrs ago I was living in a different UK, the housing boom was ever so slightly emerging - remember the mini boom first caught many out. Financing Higher Ed was via grants....it was completely different.

And yet, even then I thought I was hard done to, but that pales into insignificance when compared to todays generation of thirtysomething. I cannot even begin to imagine just how pointless life must feel for that generation and those presiding it. Just a FULL lifetimes of debt to look forward to, be it M A S S I V E mortgages or the knowledge that you are trapped in a renting cycle, knowingly paying off your landlords mortgage for him/her and yet there is nothing that can be done to change it.

I feel so so sorry for my younger generation, their only fault is they were conceived too late, the price of which they will carry for the rest of their lives.

The BTL market has caused so much grief and unhappiness.
I sincerely hope what goes around comes around.

OP you are not alone and honestly it's exhausting sometimes always having to think about having enough to pay the next bill. People's finances are so different. I could have written your post though I'm at the other end of my 30's and am very fortunate to be on the property ladder, something that happened by sheer luck around age 33 I believe. I don't think home ownership is the be all and end all, but I am very thankful I own and for me because there isn't a lot of financial security in other ways, I feel I especially appreciate knowing my home will one day be my own. I have affluent friends who only rent because they want to travel and be free to move and do as they please. But they also have fat bank accounts and could buy as needed.

Some of my most comfortable friends don't have as much as some of my friends who feel in a financial crisis. I have a dear friend whose family is on 25K/year with two children. They have a lovely two up, two down with a kitchen extension. They live a simple and good life. Like me they felt better when they could own, and moved to do so.

I do think it's very hard to compare having kids young and being off the career ladder with people who worked and saved two incomes for 10+ years before having dc and therefore had a decent down payment, owned a home, had some savings. And likely sometimes you will feel you are the only one for whom those things aren't true, but you aren't. Plenty of people find themselves in tougher spots due to having kids earlier, divorce, death of their partner, bad health, bad luck and many other reasons.

I would encourage you to set a small but achievable goal. It could be something like saving 1000k. Something that helps you feel more secure but is realistic for your situation. I also think there are likely ways to top up your income a bit now. Could you clean? Help baby-sit for friends or neighbours? Deliver papers? Deliver pizzas? There's often something, even if family have to help with your children if your parter is away for work or has long hours.

DC can have a lovely life without lots of money, but I do think parents are less stressed generally when they know there is money (extra) in the bank and that helps with everyone feeling on top of things, calm and generally better all round.

Good luck to your family.

OP have you thought of childminding rather than working in a nursery? A friend does that taking in 3 little ones and earns after paying costs (food and activities) about 2-2.5x what you mentioned you will. What's more she has set herself up well with 4 weeks closure a year that families pay for (2 weeks in summer, 1 week at easter and 1 week at Christmas). She runs a very professional service - activities daily, structured music and art. She has her 2 dc as well and has a waitlist. Might be worth thinking about.

Well, when DH and I met we were 31 and 35 and both in quite a lot of debt.... about £40k between us approx.

We’re now 39 and 43 and are down to about £9k between us. So basically we’ve spent our 30s skint, working our asses off. But we’re heading in the right direction and being debt-free actually feels possible now.

I spent my 20's up to my eyeballs in debt and couldn't see a way out. Early 30's now and on track to be debt free by 35 and mortgage free by 40. It took a whole lifestyle shift and realising what is essential, living well within my means, and learning to say no to myself and the children.