DS wants to drop out of sixth form

[user1487546656]

Haven't used MN in about a year since last time DS wanted to do something ridiculous

So, my DS is 16 and moved into his boyfriend's (19) apartment after he finished his GCSEs last year. I know it's rubbish there because they have pretty much no money but, surprisingly, DS did not come trailing back. Somehow, they've survived on the little money they have together. They come round every so often but DS does not ask for money nearly as often as I'd thought (I told him I would not pay any bills as I absolutely did not want him moving out).

But, DS was going to sixth form so I was happy that he'd have at least some options after leaving. But, he did his mock exams the week before last week and when I asked how they went, he said he'd failed them and was going to drop out. This completely shocked me as DS did very well in his GCSEs and I'm assuming it's because of the stress of living away from home and having multiple part-time jobs. After getting a little too annoyed, he said that everything would be fine and he'd just find a full-time job. I personally don't know many full time jobs a sixteen year old could get that pays decently.

I really don't want him to drop out as I know that he always wanted to go to university and become a vet but suddenly he no longer cares about this. He's a very clever kid but he just makes very stupid decisions sometimes and I don't know how I can stop him - I can't physically force him to go to school and I can't force him to return home and live with me.

Just very lost about the whole thing and have no idea what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to help. Any thoughts?

It’s his life unfortunately and you can’t make him do anything. He’s got to make his own mistakes. Hard to sit back and watch I know. Pushing him into staying and forcin the issue will just damage your relationship further.

FWIW though dropping out might not be such a terrible thing. I hated 6th form. Really hated it and look back at it being the worst days of my life. I did go onto uni and get my a levels but I was forced to. It didn’t help me get a job. There are far more options now.

You don’t have to go to uni at 18 and the people I know who dropped out are in better paying jobs now and those who waited before going to university did far better academically.

He can always go back and do a levels or an access course. He can do distance learning a levels, he can do an apprenticeship and get qualifications that way or he can wait until he figures out what he wants to do. Ultimately though, it is his choice.