To tell my colleague to stop..............

[Whycantistaymotivated]

Humming an out of tune song it's driving me insane!!!

Any of your work colleagues annoying you today?

[KitKat1985]

I work with a colleague who is a complete hypochondriac. Every time she gets a headache etc it's obviously something serious (because she's googled it, or she knows someone who knows someone who had a headache and it turned out to be a train tumour etc) and she has to take a week off work and see a doctor and be referred to a neurologist etc and unsurprisingly these investigations never fucking reveal anything because there's nothing seriously wrong She's probably had more sick leave in the past 3 months than I've taken in 10 years. I could almost tolerate this if it wasn't for the fact that she talks fucking constantly about what's 'wrong' with her to the extent then I worked with her today I actively avoided saying "hi, you okay?" like I do to most people as I didn't want to be bored with a 20 minute monologue on what she thinks is wrong with her this week.

[TheNoodlesIncident]

I had a colleague who used to stand and jingle keys and coins in his trouser pockets while he waited for things, like a fax to go through.

Jingle jingle jingle.

Jingle jingle jingle.

I used to get jaw cramps with grinding my teeth so much. So glad when he retired.

[IWantMyHatBack]

I once had to ask a colleague to stop sniffing. He sniffed loudly all day long, I couldn't stand it. Very awkward and difficult but things did improve!

@Bloodybridget how did you ask him to stop? I've refrained so far but it's driving me batshit.

[LonelyAmongUs]

Well, since you asked, I have a guy who twirls his fingers or points randomly about in between typing, punctuated by endless pen clicking as he reads stuff back. He has zero finese, eats like a pig (lip smacking, open mouth chewing, belching), hammers on the keyboard, throws notepads/pens/anything on to the desk, sighs, moans and yawns all fucking day. He will lean back and stare at my monitor and never leaves the office (when he does he keeps everyone waiting). I could make some less than politically correct remarks about his behavioural traits but suffice it to say I think he's going to get a proper cunting soon if he doesn't stop all of the above.

[Sophisticatedsarcasm]

A few of mine annoy me on a daily basis.... although I probably annoy them just as much as I’m a sarcastic on a hourly basis 😊

[minime01]

Pmsl

I have a guy who doesn't like noise at all but
Managed to sit there all day long whistling
It's really hurts my bloody ears

[Sophisticatedsarcasm]

Actually my best friend at work sometimes makes me want to strangle him. We work in a group of 3, our leader isn’t very talkative but when he is we all have a joke mess around etc that is until one word in the conversation sparks something in bff head and he totally over talks the other guy just to get his story out and usually it’s totally off context. It does wind me up because then the other guy goes quiet and doesn’t say much else.

[Bonobofingers]

Had a co-worker who would notice every little thing.

'Why did you put the file down loudly'

If I happened to breathe a tiny bit louder - 'why are you breathing like that'

I swear it's driven me half mad.

[Dippypippy1980]

Sniffing!

[Ernmas]

A whit bread tinned carrot sandwich?????? What???? Nooooooo

[user1484610362]

Whistlers -either no self awareness or just plain selfish in my opinion.

[user1484610362]

had a co-worker who would notice every little thing

Me too Bonobofingers
We work in very close proximity and if I hesitate or look around for half a second (to maybe pick up a pen or look at who’s coming in) she says “are you alright there?” It really does irritate the life out of me. I always mutter an answer as well as I don’t want to be rude.

[BingLiveisRubbish]

Yet almost none of you on this thread have ever said or will ever say anything to the colleague/s in question?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

[FrozenMargarita17]

Oooh I just remembered another one. There used to be a lady in our office who used those 'cold preventing' nose sprays all day.. every day.. she must have been spending a fortune on them and periodically through the day it was:


Ffftttt! ssnniiifffff sniff sniff


Uuuurrrghhhh

[FrozenMargarita17]

@BingLiveisRubbish I always used to say 'Sharon, you're doing it again' (constant narrating) and she'd go 'ooowweeee sooorrryyyy' and stop for half hour... then go back to it. I genuinely don't think she knows she's doing it but at least I can remind her.

[IWantMyHatBack]

@BingLiveisRubbish

Yet almost none of you on this thread have ever said or will ever say anything to the colleague/s in question


Erm..

What the fuck are people supposed to say?

"can you stop eating with your mouth open?"
"your whistling makes me want to stab you"
"Cook fish again and you'll be fucking wearing it'

Actuslly...

[Bloodybridget]

@IWantMyHatBack I said I needed to talk to him about something, and it was difficult, but did he realise he was sniffing a lot, and I couldn't bear hearing people sniff. And of course he was very taken aback and said something about having rhinitis so blah blah, but I didn't back down. It was a tiny organisation, four or five of us working there, and he was chief exec! But also much younger than me. And basically an OK bloke.

Despite the awkwardness I was so glad I'd spoken up, much better for my blood pressure!

[Nothininmenoggin]

Bloody hell I'm still trying to get over tinned carrots in a sandwich........It's just not right.

[Yubaba]

I work with someone who chews gum all day, it gives me the rage.
I absolutely hate the Sound of chewing, it makes me really anxious. I’ve mentioned it to her numerous times and even to my boss but she still does it.
It’s fucking disgusting, she chomps away all day every day. I can cope so much but then she comes near me I have to step away and tell her to stop chewing near me.

[GetOnWithLife]

Used to work with a guy that stirred his coffee loudly and for a long time, an unnaturally long time. He’d then leave the spoon it to drink it. Awful.

[Rockmysocks]

Used to work with a woman who would pick at something on her scalp, a scab, I think, slide it down the hair it was attached to then surreptitiously pop it in her mouth.

[AJPTaylor]

I had the misfortune of working for a global insurer for a while. I had one middle manager who made it his entire job to " develop his brand". Not the company, not others just himself. He is a lower middle manager. Just checked on LinkedIn, he described himself as a change consultant. Ha ha ha ha. I loathed him.

[hopeishere]

My manager whose husband phones her every Monday during our team meeting. Why??? Tell him to phone later or wrap the meeting up earlier.

My colleague asking what I'm having for lunch. MYOB.

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Another has no awareness of personal space, I’ll be sat at my desk and he’ll appear behind me to chat about something with his cock practically touching my neck

[KittyVonCatsworth]

A woman who talks ALL THE TIME. either to herself or to the whole office. She's one of those oversharers so we know everything about her sex life, her drug / sex party past, her intimate piercings, her current relationship. Everything. When SHE needs peace to do her work she will put her headphones on and sing loudly and badly. Very attention seeking, all the time. Most of the time I can zone out of it but sometimes it feeds her attention seeking 'ARE YOU OK KITTY, ARE YOU BUSY, DONT YOU WANT TO CHAT' blah blah blah. Thanks, but I'm busy working love 🙄