To think some people don’t get that working nights mean you need sleep during the day

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Started a job working three nights a week from 8pm till 8pm. I then go home have something to eat and go the bed till about 2-3ish.
The amount of people who have said stuff to me like
Can you have my kids during the day in the holidays since you are working nights
We can meet up on such and such a day since you are working during the night
And a couple of people try to ring me for chats after a night shift even though I have told them I am asleep.
My MiL told my DH who is a teacher so off during the holidays that he will be able to help them re decorate the kitchen and living room and hall over half term as I will be in each day with DS
The final straw is that I have found out today the neighbours have told the postman that I will be in all day to receive their parcels
Don’t people get you may be working nights but you still need sleep at some point
Does anyone else have this problem

My husband works nights and he’s the opposite. I have to force him to bed some days because he hates “missing” anything 😂

I know what you mean tho OP. I used to work night shifts and it’s exhausting to then have people making demands of you during the day like you’re some kind of bionic woman who no longer needs sleep 😑 Turn your phone off and tell them that you are completely unavailable the day after a night shift. That’s what I did and eventually people got the message. Very frustrating.

Something like this OP:

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WTF-Night-Shift-Worker-Sleeping-Metal-Wall-Sign-Plaque-Art-Warning-Caution-/152644400754

...although a bit about no parcels would be good as well (CF neighbours!)

Some people can just be REALLY dense unfortunately.

That sign is great. Im going to invest in one

I think another issue is that because most people sleep at night it feels shorter, from their perspective. And day times feel longer, so subconsciously they are thinking that you work less when on nights and it feels like longer to them when you're in bed during the day.
Even from work I get people who take over from me in the morning and know I'm back that night asking "What are you doing today?"
🙄
"Get home, eat, sleep"
"What ALL day?!"
I have started doing it to them when I go in.
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Well going to bed"
"What ALL night?!"
Some still don't get it though!

I understand because my late father always worked nights. Many people though will equate this with working at home, ie, a paid holiday

Do as suggested, phone on airplane mode and a sign on the door. Definitely suggest meeting up during your 2am break and for people who expect you can provide child care, they can fuck right off.

lablablab Wed 20-Feb-19 15:33:34
That's crazy! You wouldn't call these people at 2am?!

Oh, I really think you should! "Hi, I'm on my afternoon break, just thought it would be good to catch up for a chat.!

I know it is now the the same but late working is similar. When I get in at midnight I can't immediately go to sleep. So I am often still up at 2 or 3. It would be like finishing at 5pm and going straight to bed.

Of course I still have to get up for the school run at half six, seven am so I am knackered some days!

On the weekends I can work till 12, then have to start again at eight am for a full day. By Sunday afternoon when I return at five I often fall asleep on the couch for an hour or two - I literally drop off without knowledge. Then I am made to feel like I m being lazy!!

People just don't get it. It is a struggle to get decent. quality sleep in daylight hours without everyone assuming you just need a quick nap then you will ready to face the world, even our managers don't get it. I have often been told my sleep day is my day off and been expected back at work, bright and breezy at 7.30 the next morning. A sleep day is NOT a day off, I have worked 8 hours of that day it is just that I work it before management are even in the office.

I set my mobile to Do Not Disturb, unplug the landline and take the battery out of the doorbell.

I used to get similar. I used to work a mix of earlies, lates and nights. People would see me at say 11am and say, oh a day off then? It passed them by that I was going to work 3pm to 11pm. One person decided I was part time because I was working 6am to 2pm at the time, so in their eyes, had every afternoon off. But nights were the worst. I might have had four hours sleep, but I would frequently get disturbed. It seemed to be incomprehensible that I might need 8 hours sleep (it was usually 8am to 4pm that I slept). I felt like going round to theirs at 3 am and asking them why the hell were they still asleep?!

I had a really CF neighbour who was constantly having things delivered to my house. I ordered a nice big brass sign from Timsons (it didn't cost much at all) stating:

DELIVERIES FOR THIS HOUSE ONLY PLEASE.

She came over to demand (literally) "What's the problem?" I pointed at the sign and said, "No problem at all".

I also overheard a funny conversation once. A young chap was telling people about the new job he had got, which was permanent nights. He said "And the brilliant thing is, I will be free all day." Quite when he thought he was going to sleep I don't know.

Do they think you sleep at work? Is there anyway that could be a real job? I’d happily retain for it (although I am proficient sleeper already and it is my main hobby so I clock a lot of hours doing it in my spare time. If you are a recruiter looking for a professional sleeper please pm me, I’m your gal.

A friend of mine works the same shifts as longearedbat did so his body clock is all over the place, made worse by the fact that his wife treats his sleep days as days off and schedules him in for diy/chauffeur duties/household chores. He then also has the kids thundering around the house/shouting and screaming/demanding things. It's no way to live.

My late dad was a police officer and the one kind thing my mother did do for him was to ensure that all of us kids were either out of the house on sleep days or were quiet at home. It was an unbreakable rule - Dad had to be allowed to sleep so that he could do his job safely.

My mum used to be like this, the times where she would be visiting while I was on nightshift. I'd get home at around 7am, she would coo at me "oooooh good morning. would you like some breakfast? Tea? Toast?" No thanks I'd say, I'm going to bed. "Bed? What, now??" Yesssss mum I'm knackered.

Then at around 10am, she would go round slamming doors, and making noise to try and wake me up because she thinks I'm "sleeping too late" and "wasting the day"!! Wtf??

Some people just don't understand. I'd tell someone that I was tired because I only got 2-3hrs sleep during the day and be told "aw that's enough though!"

Some people just don't understand. I'd tell someone that I was tired because I only got 2-3hrs sleep during the day and be told "aw that's enough though!" hmm

Yeah, and to add insult to injury you're expected to be all over them with sympathy when they've had a broken nights sleep and come in tired in the morning!

My dad worked ‘continental’ shifts. 5xday shift (8am-4pm), 2 days off. 3xbackshift (4pm-midnight) then 3 days off. 3xnightshift (midnight-8am) then 4 days off. It was a job with no bank holidays so he would be working Christmas or new year and if they worked nightshift when the clocks changed they would work an extra hour or an hour less.

You can imagine how many times during childhood my mum would hiss ‘shhh your dad’s on nightshift)

This is why I stopped doing nights. I never ever got enough sleep. I never found a way to get people to understand. Its ridiculous.

And the people who won't believe that you can't just snap back to sleeping 11pm-7am on your single day off in between night shifts. "But you're not working nights tonight!" Yeah, it doesn't really work like that...

Dh is an nhs shiftworker. Family have never, ever “got it” until nephew trained as a doctor. We are expected to get the violins out for him!

I don't understand what it is that these crazy people don't understand

My OH works nights, and I’m going to be honest while I have sympathy about the not quality sleep it’s drives me mad and I really want him to get a new job.

I work 9-5, I wake up at 6am and make my breakfast, my lunch, get showered, get children up and breakfasted, tidy up after breakfast, everyone to nursery and me 40 mins to work. Work all day, 6pm collect kids, get get home make dinner for 3, make breakfast for one. Do baths and bed, come down tidy living room, clean and tidy kitchen, get clothes and bags ready for next morning and normally bed for
10/11 having had no down time.

He comes in at 6am, showers and is in bed by 6.30. Gets up at 6 when we come in from nursery, has his breakfast handed to him and leaves at 7pm.

Then at weekends he finishes on a Saturday morning at 6 so I get the kids out of the house by 8 and then stay in the park/softplay until 2.30 when we can go home and he might be semi coherent. Sunday’s he’s normally ok but has to nap in the day and stay up all night to be back to Monday night shift ready.

Night work is shit, its shit for the worker and it’s shit for the family who live half a life around it.

@Herculesfan, so he gets 11.5 hours of sleep and has everything done for him, while you get 8 hours on a good day, work full time, do all childcare and housework?
It's not the night work that's shit in your family.

I used to do 10-6 and had the same. People have no clue unless they've done it. I had friends volunteering me to walk their dogs in the day, pick up their kids etc. Two words - the second one is off!!

My dad used to work nights. With five kids! My mum would get us all up and ready, pass the baton to my dad and leave for work. Me and my big sister would take ourselves to school and my dad would have 40 winks until it was time drop my younger siblings to school. Only then would he get to sleep! Then up again around 2.30 to pick siblings up from school. Then back to bed when me and my sister got back from school. He basically had loads of interrupted sleep. No wonder he was so miserable ! I don't think I would have been able to function properly.
YANBU OP