To not let my father walk me down the aisle

[GingerSwan]

My DF didn’t come to my DD’s christening due to a my DM being there. They’ve been separated for over 30 years and she didn’t care at all. This was only in the last year or so.

I thought it to be extremely petty and although I didn’t kick off or say anything unpleasant I was disgusted. I simply said “it’s your choice but it’s a shame for DD as it’s about her”. Not only him but the entire side of his family including DGran, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins etc didn’t turn up.

I’m now planning my wedding and arranging the guests. At first I thought I wouldn’t invite any of them to come at all. Then I decided to invite them but have DF as a guest and not have him walk me down the aisle. My DS can do that instead.

DP agrees with me but I think DF is going to hit the roof. I’m his only DD and his only opportunity to ever do this. I thought inviting none of them would be equally as petty as them not attending the christening so trying to be the bigger person by sending them invites.

Aibu about my DF? To be honest I can’t garuntee any of them will turn up anyway as my DM and her family is also invited.

Your last few posts - my god, your dad is a total shit!

He's done the square root of fuck all for you, and that's after he treated your mum like scum.

Yes, absolutely don't invite them!!!

To add about my wonderful dog -
She wakes me down, but afterwards I forgot to get her again and left without her 😂
She didn’t hold a grudge!

Do what you feel YOU want op! I can promise you won’t regret making your own happiness for the day.

I had my brother walk me down the aisle. I wanted some support but not to be given away. And my stepdad is the world's biggest arsehole and I barely know my dad. My mum wasn't happy but it wasn't about her. And if she wanted me to have a good relationship with my SD she should have intervened when he was physically and emotionally abusive towards me. They were lucky to be invited to be honest. As would your dad and his side of the family be.

DD2 is no contact with her father. She asked me if I would walk with her down the aisle. I am not giving her away and her BF didn't ask my permission, as my DD is an adult woman, fully capable of making these decisions herself. I would not have said a word had she wanted her father to walk down the aisle, because it is her wedding, and not about me at all. I was quite teary when she asked me if I would walk with her because I did not expect it. I half thought she would ask the dog instead

You do what you want, OP. If your father is as petty as that, do you really want him there, possibly spoiling things for you?

Totally agree with walking in together and not having the "who giveth this woman to this man". Or the "obey". Or the sorry US import where the first dance is with the father who hands over to the husband.

OP just check the church agrees. Most will.

I wish I'd had my mum walk me up the aisle (my dad had died). Instead I had her brother who I hardly knew.

I wouldn’t invite them at all and if they ask why, tell them that you assumed they wouldn’t want to be there as your DM will be there.

Fuck them.

My parents had a vile divorce; I’m NC with my mother and my Dads parents can’t stand her. But we all managed to be nice for my sisters wedding day. Because it was about her and who she wanted there, not who we do or don’t like.

I wouldn't be inviting him at all.

She wakes me down, but afterwards I forgot to get her again and left without her

I’d love to see the bridzilla thread your poor dog would start. 😁

It's more about them not wanting being able to put the past behind them in order to support you and your family.
So no invite

I have had years of this because the OW who he left my mum for would not be in the same room as my mum. So many events he didn't come to for this reason. Have been NC for over 5 years now. He was a crap father and I will not have anything to do with him. I still get a birthday and Xmas card with a plaintive little message 'would love to meet up'. They go straight in the bin. Your dad made his choice when he didn't turn up to the christening, as did his family. I would not invite and go NC, unless you want him to make the same rejecting choices to your DC's events in the future.

IDoNotCare, I can imagine ‘DOwner left me at the alter, for another man’

She’s a bit of a drama queen, don’t believe what she tells you 😂