AIBU for not wanting to talk on the phone all day?

[LauraJade0308]

I will try to give a good idea of what’s happening, without writing an essay, but no promises...

AIBU?
I am heavily pregnant (38 weeks,4 days) and am really struggling to keep up with things, around the house, taking my 3 year old to nursery, making dinner, seeing friends etc.
My partner works 50-60 hours a week so he really can’t help much, but does what he can.
We have arranged for MIL to look after DD when we have to rush off to give birth. We really appreciate this, even though there are other people that we would prefer to play this role, but we offered her this to make her feel a bit more included.
Since my partner and I have been together, she has always been one to call a lot, mainly to waste some time in my opinion. (Never really asks how we are)
Anyway... The past 2 days she has called me various times a day, each call lasting around an hour or so, totalling about 3 or 4 hours a day. (She doesn’t work)
I would understand if she was calling to check up on the pregnancy, although she has been told that she will be first point of call when anything does happen, but it’s not. All she talks about is how wonderful her DD’s children are, never considers our daughter.
I honestly don’t want to hear it, and even if I did, I have got too much to do and keep up on before DC arrives. Today was the final straw.
MIL FaceTime called this morning which I did not answer as I was getting DD dressed. Within 2 minutes she tried again, this time normal call.
Once I got a spare moment, I did reply to her, saying it would ‘only be a quick call as I’m getting on’
40 minutes later, still on the phone, my shopping was delivered. I had to raise my voice over hers and say that I needed to answer the door and that ‘I will call you back LATER’.
She gave me 7 minutes. 7 MINUTES!! Before she was calling me back. I was barely able to unpack the shopping, let alone put it away.
Talked about the same stuff as in the first phone call, for about another 15 minutes or so, and only finished because she had another call to answer.
I just had a good cry to my partner.
I asked him to text her and ask her nicely if she wouldn’t mind not calling so much. I asked him to do it as I suffer with anxiety and find it hard to do things like that. Plus seeing as it’s his mother, she may have taken it better.
How wrong we were...

Basically what has happened is she has taken it the wrong way. Partner’s text simply said ‘Could you please not call as much’
AS MUCH!!
Her reply was that our numbers have now been deleted, we can all F* Off, she is not looking after DD while we go to the hospital, and basically doesn’t care about seeing the new grandchild.
Has this request been blown out of proportion? Or are we being too harsh?

[SnuggyBuggy]

Keep these nutjobs away from your children

[BruceAndNosh]

I'm trying to work out how someone throws a sofa across a room.
Is your FIL The Hulk?

[toomuchtooold]

OP, have a look on the Stately Homes thread on the Relationships board. You're not alone in dealing with batshit mental relatives.

In a way, scary as it was, it's good that this happened now because this way you've seen what your in-laws are like before you had to leave DD with them. The true hallmark of batshit is what they do when you establish a boundary with them. You can go years having a cordial relationship with them by pandering to their every whim and then you say no to one thing and they go completely mental. It probably looks surprising to people outside the situation who have nice, normal relatives - they will think you did something to provoke it, when all you did to provoke it was, for the first time, deny your MIL something she wanted.

[PhilomenaButterfly]

Russell if I did this I'd get hounded with calls and texts and blackmailed. I now don't tell them I have DND on.

[Weenurse]

Are you all OK?

[Happygolucky009]

toomuchtoolold
Spot on! I have a toxic sibling who behaved appallingly towards me and my baby. After much sobbing and begging with them acknowledging their behaviour was unacceptable, the relationship resumed but soon we were back to me pandering to their every whim. Eventually their behaviour towards me was directed towards my kids, who had a very close relationship with their cousin. We are nc now, my children have suffered and I haven't been able to fully explain why they no longer see their cousins, as effectively she sees them as an extension of me and has treated them so poorly. I allowed this to happen by maintaining contact.

Sending a text was poor and the response out of context, but think very carefully before resuming contact now this happened. Hope you are all

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Threw a sofa across a room eh? How did it go with the police op? I bet mil is sorry she kept pestering you with phone calls now! What a dramatic few hours you had there.

[SMaCM]

She's deleted your number. He's assaulted your DH. You never need to speak to these people again.

[Smilingthru]

Hope you’re ok OP?? X

[NotANotMan]

I'm shocked at posters suggesting that it was their fault for sending the text or that they should repair the relationship. The PILs sound insane, and dangerous

[Shoxfordian]

Your pil sound awful
Wow
Don't bother speaking to them again

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Jesus wept, wasn’t expecting that to escalate in that way. This can’t be the first time you’ve witnessed such batshittery?

I don’t understand why you would keep answering her calls? Enough to drive anyone mad. All very odd.

[madeyemoodysmum]

Was it an arm chair. Sofas are pretty heavy He must have raging to get that strength up

[cuppycakey]

Well I was intending to post that I didn't understand why you weren't just turning your phone off and you needed to be more assertive.

However, in the light of the attack on your DH I would say consider this the start of NC. You cannot possibly have your DC around these people, and they have done you a favour by deleting your number.

Concentrate on yourselves now. It sounds like your 3 year old has already been impacted by the calls at a time when they really need your attention. Block them on everything. Tell SIL and any other Flying Monkeys that the subject isn't up for discussion.

And prepare for The Mystery Illness which will now suddenly afflict either MIL or FIL .........

[ohfourfoxache]

You need to keep these people away from your dc. They will genuinely do them more harm than good.

[proseccoandbooks]

Oh I got so pissed reading your OP. My MIL is bonkers. She doesn't work (she's 65 and she only ever worked 11-12 years) and she's on the phone all day. And she complains to my DP that I should call her daily. Nope. Not gonna happen.

So I avoid her as much as I can, and only speak to her once a month or so.