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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, if you don't like texting, why not?

39 replies

WaterBird · 19/02/2019 15:35

Just trying to understand, really. I really enjoy texting because it's a very convenient way to keep in touch with family and friends and update each other on our lives when we can't see each other physically.
But some of my friends have said that texting makes them anxious. I'm in a casual weekly get-together and once suggested that as we were out of time we could finish our rather deep conversation via our text group chat, but that suggestion wasn't very popular.
I wonder if part of the reason many people dislike texting is because it involves writing. I love writing but I know that many people don't.
Thanks.

OP posts:
cstaff · 19/02/2019 15:39

I just find it boring and would rather have a conversation especially if it is going to go back and forth all night. I would rather just pick up the phone and talk. If it is just to make arrangements then no problem.

Original poster
WaterBird · 19/02/2019 15:41

That makes a lot of sense, @cstaff.

OP posts:
KeepCalm · 19/02/2019 15:42

Having spent 13yrs answering 999 calls I abhor the phone and speaking to people. Texting all the way for me!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 19/02/2019 15:43

My life is too short to be stabbing one fingered at a phone when I can type on a proper keyboard at my own leisure.

Texting is demanding, it is meant for short brief updates. eg pick up milk please, what time will you be in, where are you? not the 41st chapter of War and Peace.

Worst of all are the texts the go - did you get my email, missed phone call, or my text? Why have you just text me to ask if I have your text?

Elphame · 19/02/2019 15:44

Utterly hate it - I really wish there was such a thing as a mobile that only made and received calls.

Today for example my phone pinged twice an hour apart - two reminders that I have a hairdressing appt tomorrow. They'd already sent me one yesterday. Each time I had to stop what I was doing and fish my phone out of the depths of my bag just in case it was something important. I've now blocked the number.

blueskiesovertheforest · 19/02/2019 15:46

Texting isn't for deep conversation or long pieces of writing it's for brief messages. When multiple people are involved in a text conversation confusion usually ensues

BarbaraofSevillle · 19/02/2019 15:47

Each time I had to stop what I was doing and fish my phone out of the depths of my bag just in case it was something important

No you didn't. If it was so important, that it needed your immediate attention, they would have called.

bingoitsadingo · 19/02/2019 15:49

I quite like chatting by text/whatsapp, but I wouldn't be too keen on the suggestion of finishing a deep conversation on whatsapp - mainly because I don't think people can be arsed writing long messages, and you don't get the same back-and-forth of body language, expression, nuance etc. And I wouldn't trust that people would finish the conversation - it's too easy to get distracted by something else. Rather just finish it in person.

RiverTam · 19/02/2019 15:53

texting is for short sharp convos - I'm running late, I'm sitting at the back of the pub, are we still coming over tomorrow - that kind of thing.

No way would I get into a deep and meaningful conversation on text - that's what face -to-face is all about! And I can't bear my phone pinging and flashing all the time.

thecatsthecats · 19/02/2019 16:06

I'm kind of boggled by the idea that there's a conversation you can't be bothered staying for yet is worth continuing? Surely you don't NEED to finish the conversation? Was there a practical outcome to be obtained, i.e. a date to be settled on? Or were you trying to solve Fermat's theorem? Nail your definition of feminist philosophy?

That's what strikes me as odd. Conversations ebb and flow between friends, surely, sometimes the topic changes and you've got more to say. It doesn't matter though.

Laiste · 19/02/2019 16:21

I ADORE the wonderful invention of texting. Message received any time, any place and no obligation to answer straight away ... or indeed at all!

HATED the bloody landline. We (me, DH and DCs) never use one any more. We still have one in this house because my mother lives with us and she wants it. She refuses to use a mobile.

I never answer the landline because it's never for us. Ever. I blissfully totally ignore it Grin It rings a couple of times everyday and 90% of the time it's cold callers and i hear her muttering and cursing about getting to the phone for nothing. The wonderful landline ay? Hmm

However - there are times when you need to say something a bit complicated and it's easy enough to text ''give me a ring when you get a minute i need to tell you something''. Especially to your grown up kids who you know are just sitting upstairs on the playstation GrinGrin

Elphame · 19/02/2019 16:22

No you didn't. If it was so important, that it needed your immediate attention, they would have called

You obviously don't go to my dentist - they always cancel by text!

Nnnnnineteen · 19/02/2019 17:23

I love writing; texting is completely different. I see it as a method of imparting key information quickly. I do not engage in text conversations and any bloke who wants to message all night gets dumped. I freely admit the age of technology is not for me.

SnuggyBuggy · 19/02/2019 17:27

I like texting because trying to find a time when two people are both free for a conversation can be hard

goingonabearhunt1 · 19/02/2019 17:31

Love texting, not usually a fan of talking on the phone as I hate all the awkward pauses and it's hard to find a convenient time.

SoSaidTheHorse · 19/02/2019 17:32

It takes twenty texts back and forth all day to discuss or arrange something that could be done in a two minute phone call.

NameChangeNugget · 19/02/2019 17:36

There was a reason it originally had 140 letters only and was called short message service.

Some of my friends write the most boring monologues, drives me up the bloody wall. Would have been killed dead in a 1 minute phone conversation

blueskiesovertheforest · 19/02/2019 17:36

Its not being a ludite though - texting is the wrong medium for a deep conversation the same way wax crayon is the wrong medium to write a doctoral thesis or a novel in and a laptop is the wrong medium for a young toddler who wants to experiment with mark making...

Different communication methods suit different types of communication. Using an inappropriate medium restricts communication and detracts for the subject.

CoolJule43 · 19/02/2019 17:39

I get texts from friends that usually end with another question and I just don't want to bat texts back and forwards for hours.

My friends also don't put anything to show we are ending the conversation. If I text 'Bfn' it means it's the end but then they text further. I could do with their being a universal word or sign to say 'The end'.

Equally if I say, for example, "I'm out to lunch now with....." they send a text saying they hope I enjoy it or later text asking what I had or tell me what they had when really I'm just saying 'go away now. I'm eating'. Maybe that is exactly what I should say.

Alsohuman · 19/02/2019 17:39

One of my friends texts all the bloody time. I wish she’d just pick up the phone once in a while.

MrsDaveGrohl78 · 19/02/2019 17:44

I love texting!

I can speak to friends on and off when convenient, there's not a day goes by when I don't text!

FuzzyShadowChatter · 19/02/2019 17:48

I have mixed feelings on it - I prefer sending emails or text messages over computer rather than phone as I'm very slow on my phone even after having it years and have had more than a few phone hick-ups where it seemed to send and then didn't which caused confusion. I don't like relying on it.

Texting is much easier in public spaces than phone calls or anything relying on internet. So when out and about, I do text if I need to, but don't do it much.

I love writing, but written conversations and oral ones can be quite different for many people just like phone conversation vs face to face can feel and flow different. Even more so over phones, I find. And, especially if it was a sensitive topic, a conversation anyone could forward or screenshot it on...I can see why that - alongside difficulty of getting tone across in text - could make people anxious.

FuzzyShadowChatter · 19/02/2019 17:52

Also, awkward autocorrect or bad spellings isn't as much of in speech, though I do often forget the word for things and missay things spoken too. Blush

Original poster
WaterBird · 19/02/2019 17:53

Some really good points here, thanks.
In answer to the question about why the original conversation was stopped and I had suggested texting, it was because some people had to go, but I can see we could have just continued it in person later.
I think it's fair to text someone what they've had for lunch though... I mean think of all the long "What have you eaten today?" threads.

OP posts:
PettyContractor · 19/02/2019 17:53

Some of you are using text to do the job email is for.

If you're just making conversation, that's a job for email.

A text is for more urgent things than an email. It makes sense to set the phone to alert for texts but not email, because email you know is sufficiently non-urgent that it can be left until you are sitting at a keyboard. (I guess the texters don't have keyboards, so as it doesn't matter to them to distinguish between text and email, they assume it doesn't matter to anyone else.)