DP spends his days off undoing all of my work

[sophhhxo]

I may be being unreasonable m.. but over the past week I have spent my days off work sorting and decluttering 3/4 rooms in our home.
My next day off (maybe more) was going to be spent doing room 4/4!

I have done all of this on my own whilst DP has been working or out at football etc. He hasn't contributed at all.

He knows how hard I have worked and how much I have done. Yet when I was working yesterday he decided to move things I had put to one side for the tip and charity shop, and put them into 2/3 of the already sorted rooms! Messing them up completely!!

And I had a pile of clothes ready to sort in the last room which he decided to mix up and just throw behind the sofa out of the way.

When I asked him why he said he was going to have a couple of friends round, but then decided it was too much of a long winded job to make to room presentable.

So I now have 3/4 rooms to sort again! Whilst he spends his days off sat in his pants watching tv surrounding himself in the pots he uses throughout the day.

*we have the same job, so I know what it's like, and no, I don't expect him to never chill out etc. Just a little help, or him not adding to my workload would be great!

AIBU? 🤦🏼‍♀️

Pots to me, means the pots and pans you cook food in. I'd never heard it used to mean the dishes and cups.

not adding to my workload would be great

That's a very wifework line.

he uses the pots and then just places them on the floor around him rather than clearing them up!

So you have to pick them up for him?

I really wish I had copied this when I first read it on here because I'm sure I don't retell it accurately, but a poster on the relationships board explained how she dealt with this issue. Every time her DH left a towel on the floor or a bowl by the sink for the Housework Mummy to magically clean up for him she asked him to say to her "I left it there for you, because fuck you". Once he had to verbalize the disrespect she said he stopped doing it.

if you don't want to do that don't touch the pots. Leave them there to grow fur until he's ready to deal with them.

Thanks Barbara

No, I have never heard it used that way. I would say "dishes" I think. I still don't understand how this stuff is all on the floor around him

I am on South Coast - am wondering if it's a regional thing?

It was normal in Yorkshire when I was growing up, but I know a lot of people get confused by it as I've now lived elsewhere. It's basically anything made of pottery - hence "pot" also being used for a plaster cast, which is similar to clay.

"Wash the pots" = do the dishes. (All of them not just the "pots and pans"!)

But are 'the pots' the 'pots' part of 'pots and pans' or something else?

:o

Plates, mugs, teacups, bowls etc - i.e. crockery - are all pots.

Pots and pans, that you cook in, like a saucepan or a casserole dish, are also pots (at least when it comes to "washing the pots")

At least this is my Yorkshire version, OP's might be slightly different!

To clarify 'pots' are plates, bowls, mugs etc.

I am from Yorkshire and genuinely thought everyone used this term!

No, no drugs or urine involved! Just food and drink!

I'll go against the grain here

he decided to move things I had put to one side for the tip and charity shop, and put them into 2/3 of the already sorted rooms! Messing them up completely!! Did it really mess up the rooms completely? Surely piles of stuff just as messy wherever they are

And I had a pile of clothes ready to sort in the last room which he decided to mix up and just throw behind the sofa out of the way So, unsorted clothes are still unsorted, but just in a different place

Whilst he spends his days off sat in his pants watching tv surrounding himself in the pots he uses throughout the day this is a bigger issue, as it's probably a regular thing, but remember it's not your job to tidy up after him and stay firm on that