Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Do you let your teenager hang out on a night?

28 replies

tigwig76 · 18/02/2019 20:50

Just been told by my almost 15 yr old I am boring and overprotective lol. A group of her school friends hang around the streets/park etc on a night and she is of course the only one who doesn't. I don't particularly want her to but do feel a bit hypocritical as I used to do just that when I was her age. But it's not the done thing now is it?!

OP posts:

Crockof · 18/02/2019 21:04

I wasn't allowed as a child and I will try and prevent mine. Hanging around only leads to no good.

BigBairyHollocks · 18/02/2019 21:06

I don’t and I wouldn’t.What good can it lead to?Happy for movies/pizza/general hanging around my house,but not the streets no.

Sexnotgender · 18/02/2019 21:06

My daughter is 15, thankfully she’s not the kind to hang out on street corners anyway but no I wouldn’t let her.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 18/02/2019 21:07

I wasn't allowed as a teenager and I remember being really resentful. As an adult I understand the reasoning.

Rosered341 · 18/02/2019 21:07

No, I used to hang out so I know what teens get upto.
My DS 14 isn’t allowed to hang out on streets and thinks it’s most unfair. It IS different these days but I can’t really articulate why.

Weetabixandshreddies · 18/02/2019 21:09

Nope - they were never allowed to just "hang around". That was my absolute rule. They had to be going to a place, not just mooching around or at the park at night. To be fair, their friends never wanted to do it either. I made it clear that friends could come here.

Crunchymum · 18/02/2019 21:17

I had a 9pm curfew when I was a that age, still managed to fit a lot of mayhem and mischief in before I went off home!!

BackforGood · 18/02/2019 21:27

YANBU, and no, none of mine have ever been allowed to 'just hang about' in the park / in the street, etc, at any age.

heymammy · 18/02/2019 21:27

I hung around the streets at that age but dd1 (15) doesn't. Her friends don't live particularly nearby so she's never asked to just 'go out' and is always going somewhere when she does go out.

Saying that, she's started going to parties and there is an element of using the party as a base but then wandering the streets for a bit. I'm ok with this as long as she stays in a group and I always pick her up from the party, she doesn't make her own way home.

BlueJava · 18/02/2019 21:33

No hanging around for my 2, to be fair they have never asked. Happy they have friends round for gaming, films, pizza whatever and sometimes go to their homes too (but they get picked up after dark).

BrizzleMint · 18/02/2019 21:34

No, mainly because neither of them wanted/want to.

Beansandcoffee · 18/02/2019 21:36

16 and 14 year olds have never asked to hang out. They go somewhere and come home. I pick them up from parties whatever time.

Decormad38 · 18/02/2019 21:37

DD 13 neither she nor her friends hang out on streets at night. Maybe they are that little bit younger so it’s not a problem yet. I wont be letting her anyway.

ghostyslovesheets · 18/02/2019 21:38

dd1 does - and did from about 14 (more so in summer) I knew where she was and she had a blast with her mates (no crime/drugs/pregnancy and she's not really a drinker) DD2 is 14 and doesn't want to really - she tends to go to her mates houses and play FIFA

Part of being a young adult is gaining some freedom and autonomy

southnownorth · 18/02/2019 21:38

Nope, she was allowed in parks but not at night, too much nasty stuff goes on in ours.

She can go where she wants as long as it is not just lingering about.

Auslander · 18/02/2019 21:39

No, unless they were going somewhere specific then mine were in the house.

CherryPavlova · 18/02/2019 21:46

No. Ours were never allowed to ‘hang around’ with gangs of youngsters. I strongly believe parents have a responsibility for knowing where their children are and what they are doing. Hanging around doesn’t sit very well with that. Ours had schoolwork, extracurricular activities and then sixth form boarding. No time for ‘hanging around’.

becca1404 · 18/02/2019 21:48

I have a 15 year old daughter and I'm not comfortable with her hanging around at night.
My parents weren't comfortable with me going out at night either, but they let me to a point (I had to be back relatively early in comparison to others).
What I would say is that it depends on who they are with and where they are going. If your daughter has to walk back alone- it would be a no for me. However if someone walks her back and she takes a well lit route- it would be better.
My daughter doesn't go out a lot at night as she isn't the type to hang out in large groups- whereas I was.
In a larger group I would be more relaxed.

Sethos · 18/02/2019 21:49

She wouldn't want to hang out on the streets! She does love hanging out at the pub, though.

anniehm · 18/02/2019 21:55

Mine never even bothered asking - always had an open door policy at home and they could hang out here

JudgeRindersMinder · 18/02/2019 22:04

Nope, always an open door here, I’ve alwyas been happy to see a pile of teenage shoes at the bottom of the stairs, combined with dancing when dd was younger, and football training, or meeting his mates at the gym for ds.

Lovingbenidorm · 18/02/2019 22:10

If I suggested to my teens that they might like to ‘hang out’ in the street or local park they would probably piss themselves laughing.
My kids are welcome to invite their friends round to hang out in the warm with snacks and WiFi.
Likewise they go to mates houses.
They meet up with friends to go for lunch, shopping, gigs etc
They have never, and thankfully have never had the slightest desire to lurk aimlessly in public areas

KeepCalm · 18/02/2019 22:12

Nope and she's just been grounded for sneaking out last wkend and doing just that whilst pulling a sly one on the babysitter.

Good times indeed

ShaggyRug · 18/02/2019 22:17

No chance. Here hanging out leads to big trouble. A young lad just got stabbed a few nights ago and the kids from DD’s school that do ‘hang out’ are ferral. Drink, drugs fighting and sex is part of their lives from 11 up. It’s very sad. DD dances several nights per week. It bankrupts me but if it keeps her from ‘hanging out’ on street corners in the dark getting dragged into petty crime and drugs then I’ll be skint happily.

Sorry but that’s just how it is for DD’s generation in our area. So massive NO to hanging out here.

ifoundthebread · 18/02/2019 22:49

I used to 'hang about' on the streets, parks etc. We did some daft things like knock and run on peoples doors, egged buses, ring sex line in the local phone box and think up the most embarrassing question we could think of (we obviously didn't have mobiles). get drunk on cheap cider/wine then do stupid stuff, really stupid stuff sometimes, I'm highly surprised only 1 of us ended up dead (via a drug overdose). We would walk on the outside of the railing on an old unused railway viaduct over the river 120ft high, would try act out the advert about not being invincible when drunk (where the boy climbed the scaffolding after a balloon and falls, not sure of anyone remembers it), we would experiment with drugs. And the list goes on. We didn't have anywhere else to go, no one had an 'open door' for a group of 30 teenagers. Will I be letting my kids 'hang out'? If they want but not with the freedom I had, but I have said I will always let my children stay in doors if they wish, I was told to go out on a morning and be home by curfew in the summer holidays and remember some days just wanting to stay in and being told no.

Flip

1 2