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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think friend should not see this man again because of his opinion of Freddie Mercury?!

88 replies

RescueRemedy21 · 18/02/2019 19:37

Ok, so my friend asked me to post this after a conversation today about her date last night.

Third date, so far everything ok. Last night they got talking about music (she Loves Queen) and he basically said the following:

Freddie was ugly! (How fucking dare he!)
That the music is so-so!
That it's a shame Freddie was gay otherwise he would still be alive
That friend was wrong to let her 11 year old watch Bohemian Rhapsody because of the references to homosexuality
He admitted to making awful jokes about Freddie when he died relating to his sexuality, but also admitted he realises it was bad taste now
That friend was unusual to raise daughter from a young age being aware that people just love people and gender is no issue.

I think the later comments regarding sexuality show real intolerance and ignorance, friend agrees but says other than this he is fine so should she stop seeing him based on these opinions?

OP posts:

tiredandcold · 21/03/2019 00:00

No more dates.
Tell your friend to chuck him.
Homophobia aside, what kind of wanker doesn't like queen / FM music?!

tiredandcold · 21/03/2019 00:05

@DopeyDazy I let my 8 year old watch it.
I told her that an epic shag was a type of carpet 🤦‍♀️
She already knows about gay people... the thing I didn't want to explain was aids / HIV. She's too young. So I told her that he died of pneumonia.
Poor Freddie. It makes my heart so sad every time I think of him. Amazing man. He only lived to 45 and we are still talking about him almost 30 years later.
I doubt Harry styles will be able to achieve that!

LilQueenie · 21/03/2019 00:42

Run a mile. Then again being a massive Queen fan I would say that. does sound quit ignorant though.

MissLadyM · 21/03/2019 00:46

Nasty cunt. Fuck I thought dating meant you were on your 'best behaviour'. A lot of fucking horrors out there

Tinkerbell456 · 21/03/2019 03:48

Freddy lived at a very dangerous time for gay men, sadly. Not much was known about HIV or transmission.

Skittlesss · 21/03/2019 07:31

Freddie was ugly! (How fucking dare he!)
Meh. Who cares what he looked like?
That the music is so-so!
Different folk have different tastes.
That it's a shame Freddie was gay otherwise he would still be alive
Really? We don’t know that! Sounds like an excuse for slipping in some homophobia.
That friend was wrong to let her 11 year old watch Bohemian Rhapsody because of the references to homosexuality
It was the swearing that I would be bothered about. I think I remember the P word being used too, which I would not like a child to hear.
He admitted to making awful jokes about Freddie when he died relating to his sexuality, but also admitted he realises it was bad taste now
Trying to gauge her opinion, to see if she’s a homophobe too.
That friend was unusual to raise daughter from a young age being aware that people just love people and gender is no issue.
I thought it was normal to raise your children to know that all kinds of relationships exist - not just man and woman are together?!

GottaGoGottaGo · 21/03/2019 07:37

I think it's all about context in which the things were said. We weren't there, so it's kind of hard to tell, but trying to be kind here:

Opinion on someone's appearance or music is no problem, each to their own and all that. When there is death, there will be black humour, but it needs to be shared with caution, sometimes it IS funny, but you need to make sure the person with you understands context and has a shared sense of humour, so probably unwise on a third date. and sadly, if FM had not been gay, then there is a good chance he would still be alive, so is kind of a fact. Again, depends on context of why he said that. And maybe he was admiring his date's way of bringing their child up rather that being disparaging...

I think it takes more than three dates to work out if you are compatible. I'm a rather sarcastic Northerner, think my husband of over a decade is still trying to work out if he wants to date me...

Disfordarkchocolate · 21/03/2019 07:41

I agree with AGHHHH, there'd be no more dates with me. Yuck!!

brizzlemint · 21/03/2019 07:44

What Aghhhh said, though everybody should think that Queen's music is amazing.

brizzlemint · 21/03/2019 07:46

I told her that an epic shag was a type of carpet 🤦‍♀️

Brilliant, sheer brilliance.

She already knows about gay people... the thing I didn't want to explain was aids / HIV. She's too young. So I told her that he died of pneumonia.

...and he may well have done. It was often the case at the time that the death was recorded as pneumonia rather than AIDS or HIV.

Boysey45 · 21/03/2019 08:21

Theses nothing wrong with saying you don't Like Queen/ FM music,I don't.
The rest of his comments were over the top and homophobic, I'd ditch him.Also the comment about FM being ugly would be a no no for me, he was an average looking, middle aged Asian man that's it.

Grundtal · 21/03/2019 11:02

It would be a hard pass from me. I wouldn't want to date a homophobic asshole.

HIVpos · 21/03/2019 15:29

If he’d been my date it might have made for an interesting short conversation 🙄. I really hate judgmental people. Taste in music aside that would be way too homophobic for me and probably a sign he doesn’t like/makes fun of anyone who isn’t just like him.

FWIW, FM did actually die of bronchial pneumonia. People who have have HIV and die do not actually die from the virus itself but rather from AIDS defining "opportunistic infections," which take advantage of a weak immune system.

Also loving the epic shag being a type of carpet 😀

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