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Original poster

To think friend should not see this man again because of his opinion of Freddie Mercury?!

88 replies

RescueRemedy21 · 18/02/2019 19:37

Ok, so my friend asked me to post this after a conversation today about her date last night.

Third date, so far everything ok. Last night they got talking about music (she Loves Queen) and he basically said the following:

  • Freddie was ugly! (How fucking dare he!)
  • That the music is so-so!
  • That it's a shame Freddie was gay otherwise he would still be alive
  • That friend was wrong to let her 11 year old watch Bohemian Rhapsody because of the references to homosexuality
  • He admitted to making awful jokes about Freddie when he died relating to his sexuality, but also admitted he realises it was bad taste now
  • That friend was unusual to raise daughter from a young age being aware that people just love people and gender is no issue.

I think the later comments regarding sexuality show real intolerance and ignorance, friend agrees but says other than this he is fine so should she stop seeing him based on these opinions?

OP posts:
JamesBlonde1 · 18/02/2019 21:03

No no, he fancied himself too much. He acted like he was having sex with the microphone. Not sexually attractive AT ALL.

I’m afraid I fall into the category of finding men wearing suspenders very off putting. That’s how I’m wired. Like that bloke off “let’s do the time warp”. Urgh, can’t watch.

BrinkPink · 18/02/2019 21:04

Mind you, I can't stand wet lettucey leftie "feminist" men either

Ooh no, they’re awful as well. There must be some in between!

XmasPostmanBos · 18/02/2019 21:05

LTB

JamesBlonde1 · 18/02/2019 21:06

Of course FM might have been a very nice person. I don’t know and I won’t be watching it to find out. Especially if they have that hoover scene.

WinterfellWench · 18/02/2019 21:06

Would put me off yep. Calling someone ugly, saying Queen were shit (FUCK OFFFFFFFFF!) And the nasty homophobic comments especially.

As has been said, he is almost certainly sexist, racist, and generally intolerant overall. YUK!

Probably the sort to want women to have 'equal rights' when it comes to her paying her own way, and working as many hours as him, but will make sure he swerves any childcare duties, or housework.

Met this kind of men a few times ... Vile.

Thankssomuch · 18/02/2019 21:06

Sorry, why is whether Freddy was good looking or not important? The other stuff - homophobic. It’s a no from me.

Belenus · 18/02/2019 21:07

I have no problem with his opinion of Freddie Mercury. I disagree with it but whatever. The homophobia would put me off.

He seems to be bigoted but currently I'm fed up with people thinking they are entitled to police other people's speech and thought, so I'd give him another chance, see if there's any way his mind could be eased open.

No-one's policing, just choosing not to go out with him. I recently met a man I thought I might really like. As it turns out, somewhere round the third time I met him, he expressed some very right wing views on immigration that are fundamentally at odds with my world view. I talked to him about it at length. I considered seeing if I could get him to change his mind. And then I realised I had no desire whatsoever to be intimately involved with a xenophobe. And the thing is, he chose those views. Oh maybe I could have talked him round. But why should I? In a friend maybe. In a partner? No. I'm tired of talking about this stuff and fighting the bigotry that's currently rife in the UK. The last thing I want to do is invite it into my bedroom.

Fortunately, shortly afterwards I found a nice open-minded, unprejudiced left winger instead.

JamesBlonde1 · 18/02/2019 21:07

Racist? Where did that gem come from?

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 18/02/2019 21:07

I miss Freddie Sad I couldn't date this stupid guy.

BrinkPink · 18/02/2019 21:08

I never really fancied FM (or frank n further for that matter) - just thought he was amazing to watch and so completely passionate and true to himself. And supremely talented.

However I bet all that gyrating and pouting did do something for Mr Bigoted Date, hence his protestations.

Mymycherrypie · 18/02/2019 21:10

Who cares if he was ugly (he wasn’t) or that he was gay. He didn’t exist just to please the eyes other people.

As for he may not have died if he wasn’t gay, everyone has to die of something. Dying is the one absolute certainty in your life. What about the people who got AIDs through blood transfusions, you wouldn’t say “oh you’d still be alive if you hadn’t got so ill that you needed that blood transfusion.” Its not his fault he was gay anymore than it’s someone’s fault for needing a transfusion. He couldn’t just not have been gay.

I’d dump this guy ASAP.

bluetheskyis · 18/02/2019 21:12

He’s homophobic based on these comments so it’s a no from me

PtahNeith · 18/02/2019 21:14

Not quite clear on how the way your friend is raising her child is compatible with dating somebody who is so proud to be homophobic.

WinterfellWench · 18/02/2019 21:18

It's when I read threads about ghastly individuals like this, that I am grateful I am not single. Imagine having things like THAT out there on the market?

No wonder these men are single.

DopeyDazy · 18/02/2019 21:20

she's pretty brave letting her 11year old watch it imo. I wouldn't want to explain what an 'epic shag ' was or why the men were walking around in leather costumes, great fim for adults though. The drummer made a great girl imo

FredMerc · 18/02/2019 21:24

She should ditch him surely she knows this! I couldnt really have any other opinion though Grin

IamPickleRick · 18/02/2019 21:25

Gosh when I think of the films I had seen by 11, BoRap is very tame 😂 Love FM, he died at the same time as my dad so I feel very sad when I think of his death. I wouldn’t see the guy again, he just sounds hard work.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 18/02/2019 21:31

He is obviously entirely gay Wink

fourquenelles · 18/02/2019 21:33

Freddie Mercury on stage was very different from Freddie Mercury off stage. The many interviews with him and others who knew and worked with him that I have listened to show a man who was quite shy and self deprecating. He was incredibly loyal to his friends and seemed to be searching for real love most of his life.

The bloke mentioned in the OP is a dick. A homophobe hiding behind outdated social mores.

Jux · 18/02/2019 21:40

The first two are fine (and I think Freddie was ugly, ugly as fuck, but he was still a great musician, singer and performer, and Queen were a great band whether you like the music or not).

Everything else would make me dump him without further ado.

NottonightJosepheen · 18/02/2019 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beansandcoffee · 18/02/2019 21:48

At the time when Freddie died people did make such jokes. It wasn’t right but the culture was very different then. AIDS and being gay was on the news all the time and the media linked them. I had gay friends who got aids and who died.

A lot of parents wouldn’t let a 11 year old watch a 12A so I can see where he is coming from.

ViolaD77 · 18/02/2019 21:54

He sounds terribly ignorant. Say friend and the divvy got married and he thought he had a say on upbringing of friend's children's and their life decisions....?! Maybe time will tell on this guy.. Maybe he had verbal diarrhoea from being nervous on the date?

Lalotai47 · 18/02/2019 22:11

In addition to the homophobia, he sounds nastily superficial. What does it matter how Freddie looked (and I think he was beautiful)? I love that, in that era of music, you could be superstar because you were immensely talented and original, despite not resembling a male model. Calling someone ugly for their appearance is just ugly.

I would dump him.

burntdinner · 18/02/2019 22:21

1/ The homophobia would be very off putting to me on such an early date

2/ But also on early dates surely if it's going somewhere and you are stating to have a few feelings it's usual to want to agree with the date ie she loves some particular music so he's going to feel like he wants to like it too ( even if he doesn't ) it's a way of bonding to want to be similar

3/ if he's so opinionated and antagonistic on any subject on date three I would walk anyway , it's a time of finding mutual bonds not causing rifts