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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you were poorly...

66 replies

Noneofmybeeswax · 18/02/2019 15:52

If your MIL had come to stay for a few days and you ended up poorly would she do any work to help with the family/chores?
Would she step up/muck in or would you expect DH to do all the work for both of you?

OP posts:

DorothyZbornak · 19/02/2019 16:43

MIL wouldn't spit on me if my eyebrows were on fire. The feeling is more than mutual. She thinks the sun shines out of DH's arse and tells him to come for dinner at least once a week. I'm never invited and just in case I might turn up, she always makes something she knows I don't like.

outpinked · 19/02/2019 16:45

I have no idea, I’d never let her stay in the first place .

areyoureallysaying · 19/02/2019 16:52

At last a few positive MIL posts.
Mine never comes to stay (she lives about 4 doors down on the same road as us so that would be weird!)
However if she ever knows one of us is ill shed be straight round offering to help out.
Sometimes if were having a particularly lazy (ie hungover ) day she will text to make sure we're ok and do we need anything !!

SchrodingersUnicorn · 19/02/2019 17:01

Oh yes. My MIL is fabulous. So many times she's come to rescue us when I've been ill and she just does everything! I was once ill staying with FIL and was desperate to get back to MILs house where I knew I'd be looked after!

Yabbers · 19/02/2019 17:08

My MIL doesn’t help out as she is so terrified of doing anything wrong.

None of that comes from me as I’ve never made her feel anything other than welcome, but she’s heard so many “terrible mother in law” stories she doesn’t want to do the wrong thing.

Why did you get up to make a Sunday roast? Did anyone demand that of you? Seems a little martyr like to me.

ItsAllGone19 · 19/02/2019 17:10

To be honest MIL wouldn't need to lift a finger because my husband would have taken over anyway.

But she does swoop in if I'm not well and whisk away the children for a few hours unprompted so I can properly rest.

Helpmeltb · 19/02/2019 17:12

I'm divorced now but ex-mil? No fucking chance.

I still remember the time I had noro after both kids had it. She moaned that I hadn't cooked a full Xmas dinner on boxing day (other family had cooked one for her on Xmas day) then proceeded to pretend she didn't know what a buffet is

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/02/2019 17:15

My MIL doesn’t help out as she is so terrified of doing anything wrong

That’s awful, poor woman. Bet she’s a mnetter and has read too many a MIL thread.

gamerwidow · 19/02/2019 17:20

Mine would definitely muck in but I would be cross if DH stepped back and let her do it all.

Yabbers · 19/02/2019 17:23

That’s awful, poor woman. Bet she’s a mnetter and has read too many a MIL thread.

It’s really difficult. 19 years with OH and she is so worried about getting something wrong. She’s so lovely too.

RedSkyLastNight · 19/02/2019 17:25

My mil would. My mother on the other hand would make a lot of fuss about how much she was helping out and actually expect to be waited on hand and foot and not lift a finger.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 19/02/2019 17:28

My MIL would, and has stepped into my shoes when I’ve been unwell.

My DM would do it too, but openly admits that she wouldn’t feel comfortable to do so at DB & SIL’s house.

sweetpeach91 · 19/02/2019 17:45

My mum would and I'm sure my boyfriends mum would, though if I was so ill I couldn't do anything I'd encourage them to go home so they don't catch it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/02/2019 17:50

Yabbers that’s so sad. Is she nervous in general? What an awful way to live, do you try and reassure her that’s she’s doing everyone right or is it beyond that now?

EKGEMS · 19/02/2019 19:40

I was home off work with pneumonia when my BIL,SIL,their three children,MIL came to build wheelchair accessible porch to our home. The installation date was delayed for quite a while around BIL's customers. My DH promised to look after everything but he totally shirked his responsibility by being outside 95% of time to chat up his sister while I had four screaming children inside a small house. MIL literally busied herself cooking food from my kitchen but only spoke to me twice in ten hours-to ask me how to turn on the oven timer and to tell me to turn my "inappropriate tv program off-(a true life crime show while the children were outside not hardcore porn.) Anyhow I should've just taken myself to a hotel to rest (though I did lose it with DH and screamed at him for his selfishness in leaving me to care for our son and assuming his mother was looking after the other three children inside) He knew how wrong he was as he didn't offer one word in his own defense. Unfortunately MIL also is the type to rearrange my cupboards and reorganize without being asked to do so

BikeRunSki · 19/02/2019 19:45

MiL would scrub the house, do all the laundry and batch cook for the freezer. Then she’d knock up a couple of cakes.

DM might cook the tea.

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