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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Downstairs neighbours complaining about floor installed 5 years ago

46 replies

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 10:41

I need to know who is being unreasonable here. We have lived in our flat in a beautiful detached Edwardian building since 2007. We love it here. We moved in when I was expecting my daughter and now, 12 years on, there are the four of us and our cats. Our flat is on the first floor - there is one flat downstairs, one upstairs and us...sandwiched in the middle. Last week, we had a run in with our downstairs neighbours which was really scary - they blow hot and cold at the best of times - one minute they want to be best friends and then when anything isn't as they want it, they get really arsey rather than trying to approach things maturely. So...we were getting a new Amtico floor installed in our bedroom last week. The workmen arrived at 8.30 to install it. within ten minutes, both she and her husband were banging on our door in their dressing gowns screaming at me - what the hell did we think we were doing, that it's unreasonable to have workmen at 8.30 am and that she didn't go to bed until late and was trying to sleep (the late bedtime has nothing to do with being a shift worker - she works in recruitment). I told her to come in and scream at the workmen who told her, quite rightly that they are legally contracted to work between the 'reasonable' hours of 8am and 6pm. For context we had given verbal notice to them which they say they don't remember. Anyway, my husband wasn't here at the time and I was trying to get the kids out of the door to school. I thought nothing more of it though I was shaking with nerves/ anger/ adrenalin - perhaps a combo of all three. Yesterday my husband informed me that he'd been bombarded with texts from 'her' all week. Saying we are selfish and how if we are going to be selfish they will be too. So they've been playing their music really loudly to the point the furniture in our lounge (which is very soundproofed - we picked up every floorboard and stuffed insulation in before laying a very thick carpet several years back). They're now choosing to complain that our Amtico floor which was laid in our hallway in 2014/15 is really annoying them and they hope that the workmen are installing carpet. Now the carpet we replaced was old, the underlay was thin and the floors were creaky. Now all the floorboards are screwed down, there is a layer of plywood, a levelling compound and the Amtico which is essentially a vinyl and nowhere near as noisy underfoot as wood floorboards or laminate. Also we don't wear shoes in the house and the kids are mindful of the fact we live in a flat. The people above us have laminate throughout and, though we can hear them - it's not bad noise - just people living their lives and part and parcel of living in a flat. The problem downstairs have is that their entire flat is wood floor throughout and no soft furnishings - shutters not curtains, leather sofas etc. You can hear everything echoing in there when you walk past their front door. It sounds like an empty house if you know what I mean. So they've got nothing in there to absorb noise. When we moved in here, we actually put a fake ceiling in the lounge and insulated that. My husband is a typical Englishman, starts every sentence with sorry - picture Hugh Grant. He's all for keeping people happy and is suggesting we lay rugs over our lovely floors. I don't want to do this, it's a slip hazard and also a pain to clean the floors if I've got to lift big rugs in order to mop the hard floors etc. Sorry this is a real rant (very therapeutic). I should also mention we are share of freehold and there is nothing in our lease which prohibits the laying of hard floors - in fact vinyl is mentioned as a permitted material and Amtico is a vinyl. Also in terms of us being selfish - it couldn't be further from the truth. Baring in mind they are two people in their 50s and one of them is semi retired - they've never done anything to contribute to the upkeep of the property. In comparison, we tend to the front garden, have painted the entire hall and stairway and front door, built a new side entrance door. We do all the research for new purchases for the building and pay for them then wait for the other flat owners to reimburse us. We also handle all the tiresome admin of the building insurance. We are not bad neighbours.

OP posts:
ambereeree · 18/02/2019 11:06

Ignore them. If the lease doesn't prohibit it then they can't do anything.

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 11:34

That's my thought. She's a bitch. Her ultimate threat is "I'm going to move out and rent the place to a big Nigerian family". Not only is that a terribly racist remark (And she is black Jamaican/ south London) - but this imaginary family may be much better neighbours than she is. So go ahead! Move them in - then I'll report you for squeezing a family of ten (which she says they would be) into a two bed flat.

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PCohle · 18/02/2019 11:43

It sounds like you are perfectly reasonable in terms of the type of flooring you have and are conscious of minimising noise.

There's clearly nothing they can do. That said, being on bad terms with the neighbours is always awkward. I'd send them a card and some flowers apologising for the disturbance when the new floor was being laid. If they continue to complain about noise I'd ask if you can stand in their flat whilst your DH or kids walk around upstairs. Then at least you'll have idea whether you are genuinely making an unreasonable amount of noise.

MumW · 18/02/2019 12:19

My DSis has very unreasonable neighbours.
My DSis does her best to keep her family noise within reasonable levels.
They eventually got so fed up with the complaints that they said if the neighbours didn't stop being so unreasonable then she wasn't going to make any efforts to be reasonable herself.
So my suggestion would be that you tell them that you've made every effort to reduce noise. Expalin the extra sound proofing under the floors, your false ceiling (suggest they invest in the same) but if they want to be arsey then theres no point in you continuing to make the effort the kids will be allowed to run around freely and you'll stop insisting that shoes are removed when in the flat etc.

If they don't like neighbour's noise they need to move to a detached property.

Darkstar4855 · 18/02/2019 12:28

YANBU. I would ignore them as much as possible and keep a record of any further incidents of harassment with a view to reporting to police via 101 if it continues.

greenelephantscarf · 18/02/2019 12:34

yabu if you have not put noise reducing underlay under your new floor

RiverTam · 18/02/2019 12:39

they sound bonkers but actually I think upstairs flats should always have carpet - it's not just the flooring itself, though that's part of it, it's the fact that soft furnishings absorb sound.

My auntie's upstairs neighbours have hard flooring now and even though they ever wear shoes you can hear everything, not just them thumping around, but the TV and everything, much more clearly.

WendyCope · 18/02/2019 12:58

Well, being beneath a noisy flat is extremely irritating and upsetting. You hear everything.

Workmen at 8.30 is a bit much IMO.

DarlingNikita · 18/02/2019 13:01

Workmen at 8.30 is a bit much IMO.

As they themselves said, 'reasonable hours' are considered to start at 8am.

Juells · 18/02/2019 13:01

My sister lived in apartments in New York for years, and the lease stipulated that 70% of the floor area had to have rugs. I suspect it's much noisier for them downstairs than you realise.

SaturdayNext · 18/02/2019 13:25

Why would you need to keep mopping floor that is underneath rugs all the time?

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 13:27

My husband is an architect and has specified all the correct insulation. As yet, they cannot complain about the new floor because it's not really been walked on. It's our bedroom. The door is shut during the day and we go in there at night to sleep. It's a room that measures about 12 ft x 12 ft - so with king size bed and furniture it's not like there's room for running around and doing cartwheels. And I maintain that if they had an issue with the Amtico that has been down for 5 years, they should probably have said something back then. Not suddenly decide to raise it just to be petty.

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DerelictWreck · 18/02/2019 13:28

I know that people with kids think that 8am is late in the day, and that reasonable hours start then (because the world is run by people with kids!) But I would also be pissed at workman arriving and working at that time.

Yes she handled it badly and sounds like a right dick, but I would feel the same. The difference is I would (and do) lay in bed and seeth instead!

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 13:29

Surely most hygienic people with hard floors mop them at least weekly? I pick up my rug on my carpeted lounge and vacuum under that - same would apply with wood floor. The issue I have is that a long hallway runner would be heavy and cumbersome and if we were to put one in the bedroom then two feet of the bed would be on it and I wouldn't be able to move that myself.

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pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 13:31

But most people who get up and out to work monday to friday 9-5 would be up and dressed and out the door. it's not me that stipulates the time a workman begins - it's their legal hours. What I forgot to mention is that they had the luxury of living in another property while they gutted downstairs prior to moving in and spent 18 months working on it (at all hours). They'd be banging and drilling 9pm/ 10pm - but of course because they weren't there and it was their workers doing it, then it didn't affect them. I had two toddlers at the time who couldn't sleep because of it.

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SilverDragonfly1 · 18/02/2019 13:31

Go for the Nigerian neighbours. Ours are the best we've ever had. Friendly, community minded and family centred. If you're really lucky you'll get some food as well.

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 13:34

Totally agree MumW. My kids' friends don't get it when I tell them to quit jumping around or doing somersaults or kick balls. My kids have had a lot of restriction put on them in order to be good neighbours. They ultimately knew there were two kids here when they bought the place. They could see the swing and slide in our garden (or maybe they couldn't as they did leave the handbrake off one of their cars while rode into our garden and trashed the play equipment). We are as respectful as we can be. And I'm sure our new floor is much better than what was previously there - ie creaky floorboards, thin underlay and a poor quality carpet.

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/02/2019 13:34

I know that people with kids think that 8am is late in the day, and that reasonable hours start then (because the world is run by people with kids!) I say 8am on a week day is an adequate time for most working people, kids or no kids!

Op you can’t reason with crazy- had a crazed neighbour once, just don’t overly engage with them, don’t even bother arguing back. Minimal contact.

slipperywhensparticus · 18/02/2019 13:35

Tell her of course your laying carpet big thick carpet due to the noise coming from downstairs

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 13:35

This is what I'm hoping SilverDragonFly1. Did I mention my son has just started having saxophone lessons - he is allowed to practise ten minutes a day but that could be relaxed.

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TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 18/02/2019 13:36

Ignore them. They're not the boss of you. 8.30 am is perfectly reasonable for workmen to come. I'd tell them, 'It's a pity you're unhappy, but it's our decision to make regarding flooring.' And walk off.

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 13:37

Onlyfoolsnmothers - that's exactly what we're doing. I got defensive when she came up screaming the odds in my face. I told her to come in and spout her crazy to the workmen (who had a good laugh when she left). But my husband's attitude is to not engage with it. They've broken many terms of the lease (we are share of freehold) - namely he has erected a building in the garden without consent and not on his land - and is operating a hire business from here.) We've got more on them than they've got on us.

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WendyCope · 18/02/2019 13:38

I don't think people complain 'just for the sake of it' You are clearly upsetting them. It is a last resort.

But you think YANBU, so don't ask. My neighbours just about gave me a nervous breakdown with the same antics.

My DH is also an architect and has explained over and over how noise carries down. It can be unbearable.

You don't need to mop under rugs every week FFS.

pinksplutterweasel · 18/02/2019 13:41

Also....I don't think the noise from us can be any worse than the noise we hear from above which is clicky noisy laminate. And despite it being two adults living above us, they tend to like running around and playing chase (their business). We hear them walk around, we hear him on his cross trainer, their kitchen is above my son's bedroom and we hear the washing machine vibrate. But people have got to live and we are happy that this is what you get in a flat. Downstairs had never lived in a flat before and aren't willing to make any concessions. At one point they asked us not to use the side entrance to get to our garage once it was dark because she was spooked by people outside her kitchen. We are all equal owners here yet they seem to think that they have more rights than us. I think she's used to bossing around her minions at work - I've heard her on the phone tear strips off people so she's probably used to people doing whatever she tells them.

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Crockof · 18/02/2019 13:42

To those that say workmen at 8.30 is unreasonable when exactly are they meant to do their job

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