To think there needs to be a word to describe sexual response from unwanted sexual contact?

[clairemcnam]

First of all, this is not a personal thread, but a philosophical one.

It is well known that girls and women can get wet and orgasm during rape, just as boys and men can get erect during rape. But we have no words to describe sexual response from unwanted sexual contact.

Using the word orgasm or getting wet or erect sounds as if this rape or sexual contact is wanted, when it is not. And this I think increases the shame that people feel when it happens to them.

It would be good to have a separate word or phrase for this. It would mean we could more accurately describe what happened and this would hopefully help people understand that this is a reaction they have no control over. In the same way you can not help sneezing if you are irritated by pollen.

I think 'Involuntary arousal' is incorrect because arousal is seen as both a mental and physical thing. It doesn't communicate properly the degree to which the physical mechanisms overwrite the mental wishes, in my opinion.
I think it's a vitally important subject to discuss, to reduce as far as possibly the element of shame and guilt that sexual abuse victims experience.

Genuine admiration for the posters who are willing to use their personal traumatic experiences to increase awareness here.

Very confusing topic all round. Not sure about involuntary because all sexual response is involuntary to a degree. This is part of the awful narrative that is behind that awful robin thicke song. That your body and your mind are separate and your body knows best. A man who claims to desire and find his wife or partner sexy, but is unable to get an erection. Which bit of him to we really believe ? I think there is an encouragement of the idea that our lovers can know our own bodies better than we do if that makes sense ?

From a physiological perspective it makes sense. Morning erections, startle response, laughing and tickling, etc. I'm fairly sure if most of us were to fondle DH/DP (or someone else!!) penis, there would be response, regardless of whether the other wants to have sex or not.

I respond on this topic because I've heard it discussed in the context of court case prep/scenarios.

This is worth a quick read
www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-05/science-arousal-during-rape

It happens, it must be incredibly confusing, and is only recently being discussed I think.

NAPAC used to have a whole section about this on their website. I just had a quick look but can't find it now.

@SmileEachDay sorry if the face came across as rude - I just find all the troll hunting tedious. Of course anyone can post anything, but we can all engage our critical thinking and see the clear difference between "Let's have an intelligent discussion about this sensitive taboo subject" and "Has this ever happened to any of you? Tell us all the details!"

What about something us8ng the word reflex?
Reflexive sexual response, RSR?

People recognise reflexes as involuntary.

'Forced Arousal' makes sense to me. There is no consent and the body is being forced to respond to unwanted stimulation.

What no cool said 🙂

As a teen I went through a phase of reading mills and boon type crap romance and this was a very consistent trope in this genre.
Hero forces himself on heroine in a rapey but not quite all-the-way scene. She is horrified to find her body “betraying” her with obvious signs of arousal even though she finds the hero arrogant or dislikes him. Inevitably by the end of the book it is always clear that they were meant to be together, and would have been sooner if her inconvenient brain hadn’t interfered.

It’s not just that this survival instinct isn’t well known outside of rape counselling, it’s also something that is dangerously misrepresented in an overwhelmingly female genre.

I also want to pick up on a pp’s assertion that it doesn’t happen in “more violent assaults”. I’m not sure this is the case? And if it was it might be related to the order of events rather than the severity of the attack.

As far as I’m aware it is a phenomenon seen among animals too. Ultimately it’s a very adaptive survival instinct and an example of the body protecting us.

Thank you for the flowers.

The therapy did help massively and I dealt with my feelings of guilt and shame. I have nothing to hide and as such, I can help others now. That's my positive spin on my experience... I can now use it to help others.

Forced arousal sounds like a reasonable way to describe it.
A forced, unwanted orgasm (erection for men?) would be better, descriptively. It is the most horrible feeling when you are saying 'no' but for some reason your body is saying 'okay'... bizarre and confusing.

There is a TED talk on this by Emily Nagoski which I really recommend (though rape is discussed), referring to it as unwanted arousal or arousal non-concordance which can go both ways (wanting sex but the body not responding as well as not wanting sex but having physiological responses associated with arousal). I agree with previous posters that involuntary response, forced arousal and others are clear and would likely work fine as well.

plink

I agree claire ive no idea what term we could use apart from the ones already suggested

I also knew about this as a subject, mainly because there was an American crime show that had it as part of the plot

I was abused at a very young age (before I even knew what sex was and certainly before I had any kind of sexual feeling) and even now, 50 years later, I feel that I was complicit partly because of my reaction. Intellectually I know that I don't bear any responsibility but that isn't how I feel.

I don't feel any need for a single word for it and "involuntary physiological response" seems pretty accurate and sufficient

@weedoogie

That's exactly the way it feels! Complicit! It took me a long time to not feel guilty about that and realise that I wasn't being complicit.

"Mechanical" is a good description. I was assaulted while asleep and it took a while for my brain to process what was happening and to wake me up. That may have prevented worse from developing.

I never reported it because I found it confusing, and my state of dress (no different to anyone else in a crowded room) We are begining to improve on a victim blaming culture. I certainly was not in a postion to give any kind of consent to the incident. I knew it was wrong for years and it was the consent/ cup of tea analogies that made it clear to me how wrong it was.

What nocool said. Or, possibly 'involuntary arousal' ?

There are whole sections on pornhub etc with “forced arousal/whatever” as the title.

Might be better to keep the clinical term away from that.

I don't like the word arousal in this context. It carries an implication of enjoyment. It's not arousal, it's not enjoyment, it is an involuntary physiological reaction. In fact, in women, the secretion of lubrication is a protective reaction - without it there will be physical damage caused. so it is just the body doing what it can to protect itself