DH has some very old and dear friends, who are in many ways absolutely lovely. However, literally every single time we visit or meet up with them, the husband in this family is extremely keen for DH to come and do something else with him, somewhere else. If DH goes, this often leaves me looking after our two young DC in an unfamiliar, non-toddler-proofed house, or trying to do an activity with two small children that is just harder when there's only one adult to two young DC, or where I don't necessarily have equipment which would make it easier to do alone - e.g. swimming, cycling, etc. If DH declines, the friend repeats his request several times over the course of the visit until sometimes it can get a bit tricky. I should say that this friend has children also.
I have no problem with DH doing things with friends; he has a couple of weekends away with friends each year and goes out much more in the evenings than I have the chance to do at the moment, although I'm working on this. I just rather resent the suggestion that I'm the default childcare and that the men are free to spend their day exactly as they please without any discussion about whether this is OK with their other halves, who are now going to be doing all the childcare. DH is now batting off these requests for the men to disappear elsewhere for the day every time we see them, but the intensity with which they are made is starting to feel a bit uncomfortable to me. As DH and I are each 50 per cent responsible for the kids at the weekend, I feel that it's not exclusively his time off to spend as he chooses, any more than it's mine. AIBU?