To be annoyed at MIL pressuring us to announce pregnancy?

[Bananayog]

NC for this. Wasn’t sure whether to post this in AIBU or pregnancy!
DH told me his mother was saying we have to start telling people, (we are 17weeks), because people will find it “odd” that one minute everything’s normal the next we are having a baby in a few months, and that she feels awkward that she can’t tell her family members.
Without going into detail we have personal reasons to leave it as late as possible, have only told our respective parents and I’ve told my manager so I can attend appointments. I’m not showing and have no obvious symptoms so as far as me and DH are concerned we are perfectly happy with our secret until we feel it’s the right time! I was personally aiming for at least after the 20 week scan, maybe a few weeks more if I can get away with it.
Just wanted a rant really, feel so p**d off that she feels it’s ok to give her opinion and make my DH feel we’re doing wrong. Who the hell cares if we don’t announce til later? No one will be put out and if anything makes the “waiting” shorter for everyone else! I know she wants to share the news with her family (siblings cousins etc) but I want to scream! It’s OUR news to share when we feel safe to do so and I haven’t even told my best friends yet! Nor my own siblings!
deep breaths

Lots of people wait until after their abnormality scan at 20 weeks. We are also trying to wait as long as possible and MIL trying to pressure us and saying she can’t see her friends until she can tell them which is ridiculous.

I would leave it as late as possible. It’s really none of her business.

I would have liked to start telling people post 20 weeks this time too but I was showing far earlier than that so just had to go with it. If you can get away with it, it’s fully up to you.

She is probably just excited though so I’d avoid a falling out over it if you can.

I really don't understand the mentality of "tell everybody or nobody". There are some people who I would would want to know whatever happened (like my parents as I would want their advice and support, having suffered a stillbirth themselves) and others who I would only want to know once I could be more confident that any potential genetic issues had been ruled out. My husband had his own preferences. We didn't tell most people until after the 20-week scan with either pregnancy, and I expected the people who I did open up to to respect my wishes... Not that my MIL did that when the day we told her (I was only about 5 weeks) she goadingly and awkwardly told her neighbour who I had only met about twice before that I had "some big news" and then proceeded to say "go on, tell her, tell her!" leaving me in a very awkward position. I love my MIL and get that she was excited, but seriously...

don't go no contact. Mother in Law is obviously very happy, wants to publicise the happy news, and is looking for your approval. Is it her first GC, perhaps. Just ask her to wait a couple more weeks

Is it possible she has told a few people in a "don't tell anyone but..." Kind of way and is now worried she is going to be rumbled?

The only reason I say this is because my MIL has told me twice about a cousin's very high risk pregnancies and followed it with "I'm not supposed to tell you though".... :(