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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if your baby slept better once moved into their own room?

52 replies

Thatsnotmyotter · 16/02/2019 22:24

DS is nearly 6 months. Currently I put him to bed in his (co-sleeping) cot in our room and then pop downstairs for dinner and things. He’s been a nightmare with sleep ever since 4 month sleep regression but seems to sleep just fine (if not better) when we’re not there. I had no intention of moving him into his own room any time soon as I didn’t want to be up and down out of bed every couple of hours (he can only be breastfed back to sleep at the moment so it’s not like DH can do much) but now I’m wondering if he’d actually settle better in his own room and if maybe we’re disturbing him overnight. I hadn’t even thought about a cot for his room yet!

Am I going to regret moving him (at 6 months) or do we just go for it?

OP posts:
Bluerussian · 16/02/2019 22:25

Nope! He slept with us for what seemed like forever,

Bambamber · 16/02/2019 22:27

Mine didn't. Still at almost 2 she doesn't sleep through the night. I do know other people though that children have slept better when put in their own room. You could always give it a go and see how you get on

MeMeMeYou · 16/02/2019 22:27

Yes at first he did sleep better for around the first month. Then back to bad again! Moved him at 7m. Biggest improvements came when I woke him slightly after his bedtime milk so he went to sleep awake, and I night weaned him off breastmikk at 14m. Then he slept.

Thiswayorthatway · 16/02/2019 22:27

Go for it. Both DC in own room from 6 weeks. Worked best for both of us.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 16/02/2019 22:28

How about you? Would you sleep better if baby wasn't attached to you all night?

You're allowed to consider your own comfort you know.

Anecdote: my twins were in their own room and cots by six months because they were loud and we literally didn't have room for two cots plus our bed. DS3 was 14 months as he co-slept and breastfed to sleep. At 14 months, I was back at work and was exhausted, so I spent a week getting him off the boob and into his room in a cot. Best decision (other than stopping breastfeeding with my twins at 4 months) I ever made for my own sanity.

I would wait a little longer until he's weaning and eating a bit. Mine was 7 months by the time he was reliably eating anything and I was dropping feeds.

oldsewandsew · 16/02/2019 22:29

Yes, mine both slept better in their own rooms (both just a tad before 6 months, for various reasons), which I was devastated about, as I wanted to give my DH an excuse for them to stay in with us forever 😢

user1493413286 · 16/02/2019 22:29

Initially yes as she was being woken by DH tossing and turning and wasn’t being given the chance to moan and settle back down as I’d get her up quickly so DH wasn’t woken. After about 3-4 weeks it went downhill but that was more the 8 month sleep regression that happens for some babies.
I think it’s fairly normal for babies to sleep better the first portion of the night and it’s coincidence that we’re not there during that

Didiusfalco · 16/02/2019 22:31

My first one didn’t, but the second, hell yes! I thought she was keeping me awake but it turned out it was the other way round. I hadn’t moved her out until she was nearly a year, because of my experience with the first, but as soon as I did it was obvious it was exactly what she needed. She’s nearly 4 and an amazing sleeper, whilst dc1 is still a bad sleeper!

APurpleSquirrel · 16/02/2019 22:32

Both mine did - they have both slept better & for long stints since going in their own rooms. We sleep a lot better too.

Fairylightsandwine · 16/02/2019 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TortoiseLettuce · 16/02/2019 22:33

Mine is in his own room. Which means I have to get up every few hours in the freezing cold when he cries. I’ve resorted to a mattress on the floor beside his cot because it’s a pain having to get up repeatedly. And a lot of the time he won’t go in his cot because it’s nicer to be on the mattress with Mum. I can’t win!

Original poster
Thatsnotmyotter · 16/02/2019 22:33

Diana it sounds ridiculous but I’m having a bit of an identity crisis about it if I’m honest. I always saw myself as this co-sleeping, breastfeeding earth mama but to be honest I just want a good night’s sleep! I’ve already backtracked on my ‘I won’t do purées, we’ll go straight to BLW’ determination because to be honest the poor boy was desperate and I was hoping it might settle his reflux. I just feel like I’m ‘giving up’ constantly.

OP posts:
Fantababy · 16/02/2019 22:39

We put DD in her own room at 9 months after one night when I lay between her in her cot and DH terrified to move in case anyone woke the other up. Her sleeping didn't massively improve but I think it did help slightly, and it helped my sleep enormously as I didn't wake for every movement or snuffle.
Re your point about 'giving up' - I feel like that often - I was going to go straight to BLW, was going to use cloth nappies, wasn't going to allow DD near a TV till she was 2... the list goes on. As long as your LO is healthy, happy and thriving, you do what you do to keep sane! Smile

YouLikeTheBadOnesToo · 16/02/2019 22:40

My DS did, yes. We moved him at just over 6 months. But he was an awful sleeper when in with us, slept for a maximum 2 hours at a time. Like a pp said, I think it was actually us disturbing him rather than him us!

As well as him sleeping better, I did too. I’m not sure why, but I seemed to switch of more easily.

WineAndTiramisu · 16/02/2019 22:41

Yes, we moved her at about 5 1/2 months, as we all seemed to be waking each other up, and we all slept much better!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 16/02/2019 22:45

Ah babe - I get you, I really do, but the one thing you really need to let go of is the feeling of 'failure'.

Your baby is warm, loved, clean, and fed. All the rest is just details. Ask yourself if anyone is going to care in five years, ten years, the method of food delivery you chose, or exactly when you decided to have him sleep in another room. Because I 100% guarantee you, the people that matter - you, him, and probably his dad - absolutely will not give a flying whatsit.

Don't sweat the small stuff Flowers

Mmmhmmm · 16/02/2019 22:48

Our daughter never slept well with us. She sleeps great on her own.

RomaineCalm · 16/02/2019 22:56

Please don't beat yourself up about making a choice to do things differently to what you initially thought you would do. Your DC is fed, warm, loved, cuddled and well-looked after from the sounds of it. The rest is just details.

FWIW I swore that my DC wouldn't eat food from jars (I love cooking and was going to produce home-made organic everything), would co-sleep and wouldn't have a dummy. Ever. I was the stereotypical PFB story on mumsnet with spreadsheets and self-enforced rules in place

Guess what? Things changed, DC had more jars/pouches than I care to remember and eventually we had to call on the dummy fairy. Co-sleeping didn't work for me - I just found I spent all night awake worrying. Once DC went into own room with a good monitor we all got some sleep.

Fast-forward 12 years and all of those things that I stressed out really don't matter.

Yabbers · 16/02/2019 22:59

We all slept better.

Inapickle230 · 16/02/2019 22:59

My DD went into her own room at 6 months and sleeps so much better! If you’re shattered I would definitely try it now. As a pp said I think it was me keeping her up. She still doesn’t sleep through (nearly one) but it vastly improved when she went into a cot. I was the same with blw, I bought the books and steamed the organic veg but just panicked about the choking, it was purées for the next few months.

Do what makes life a bit easier for you, he’s loved and that’s all that matters.

Inapickle230 · 16/02/2019 23:00

Yes I gave in with the dummy too!

harper30 · 16/02/2019 23:05

DD is nearly 8 months and she's been in her own room since Xmas and she sleeps much much better in there, we just disturbed each other and I almost think the smell of me made her wake up more regularly to feed?
I miss her sometimes and if she wakes up at 4am now I put the bedguard up and go grab her and bring her in with me, but in our own rooms we both sleep way way better. Last night was a record breaker and she hit 13 hours???
I'm sure the sleeping through won't be permanent and every baby is different but I'm glad I moved her.
It allows you to just relax a bit and sleep properly for the first time in forever!!
Don't beat yourself up about anything, I'm learning that you just do what is right for you and forget whatever other people are doing or what the 'perfect' mum would do, there's no such thing xx

hammeringinmyhead · 16/02/2019 23:06

We've just started putting ours (nearly 4mths) to bed in our room with a monitor at about 8.30 as he wasn't able to nap downstairs with us any more in the evenings. He's sleeping better as a result until about 4, so I think he'll sleep really well in his own room where it's dark and quiet.

Moominfan · 16/02/2019 23:07

I think the sooner the better, once they're used to sleeping with you it's hard to change. Coslept till around 5months then into his own cot and room. Been a good sleeper since

harper30 · 16/02/2019 23:11

Also OP don't worry about the BLW/purée thing either, I think a mix of both is ideal. If we only did BLW my DD would have basically never eaten anything by this point at 8 months, I feed her bits/hold things for her to eat or spoonfeed things because I want them to go in her mouth and not just on the floor. Finger foods are fun and great and I offer them but I actually feed her as well otherwise my boobs would be spoken for exclusively by this kid until about 2021 😂 (and I would quite like them back before then if I'm being honest)

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