To ask if your baby slept better once moved into their own room?

[Thatsnotmyotter]

DS is nearly 6 months. Currently I put him to bed in his (co-sleeping) cot in our room and then pop downstairs for dinner and things. He’s been a nightmare with sleep ever since 4 month sleep regression but seems to sleep just fine (if not better) when we’re not there. I had no intention of moving him into his own room any time soon as I didn’t want to be up and down out of bed every couple of hours (he can only be breastfed back to sleep at the moment so it’s not like DH can do much) but now I’m wondering if he’d actually settle better in his own room and if maybe we’re disturbing him overnight. I hadn’t even thought about a cot for his room yet!

Am I going to regret moving him (at 6 months) or do we just go for it?

Not giving up, it's adapting and responding to your baby's individual needs (even if they aren't what you expect)

Could you try travel cot in own room if you have one just to see if it helps?

No, moving my baby out didn't help. She slept really badly regardless.

Oh yes. We were pretty nervous about moving him into his "big cot" when he started trying to roll over (decided it was probably safer than the carry cot at that point so he wouldn't smush his face against the fabric sides), but we put him down to go to sleep and he immediately rolled onto his front and went straight to sleep. Slept through the night from that point on - makes sense really, I'm a stomach sleeper too and being pregnant and not able to sleep on my stomach is massively increasing how often I wake up.

Yes! Dd1 was turfed out at 6 months because she was a rustling baby, and very easily disturbed to boot. If we so much as whispered, she woke up.

Dd2 coslept for 6 months until she practically stopped nursing in the day because she just stayed latched on nearly all night (she had been fine for the 1st 4 months). Couldn't get her to stop as long as she could smell me in the bed with her. As soon as I threw her out into her own room, we all started sleeping again.

100% better once in her own room.

Yes, a thousand times yes.

OP, I totally totally TOTALLY get where you're coming from. I wanted to have a drug-free water birth with delayed cord cutting and co-sleep and breastfeed and go to groups and use a sling and generally be as in touch with my baby as possible.

Well, I ended up with a highly medicalised c-section because she got stuck in my pelvis. She was in distress so the cord was cut immediately and I didn't even see her beyond a quick glimpse for four hours while I had further surgery. Breastfeeding was such a disaster that she ended up in A&E at 5 days old with dehydration. She had CMPA, silent reflux and grunting baby syndrome so was SO LOUD at night even when she was asleep that I didn't sleep at all. I started hallucinating with the sleep deprivation and developed severe PND and psychosis. We moved her into her own room at 4 months at the pleading of my medical team so I could get some sleep. Only then did things start getting better. But it's taken me the best part of a year to "forgive" myself for not being the mum I wanted to be.

And honestly, it was such a WASTE of time. She is happy, healthy, securely attached, confident, loving, funny, clever and brilliant. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop beating myself up and go with the flow. She hated co-sleeping! She likes her own space to sleep - still does a year on. She gets SO CROSS if we go into her room when she's trying to sleep. She likes being put in her cot, kissed goodnight and left alone to get on with it! She hated the sling because she liked being able to see around her! She hated groups because she just wants to explore and play freely! I spent all that time trying to do what I thought I should be doing as the perfect mum rather than just listening to my baby who was telling me SO clearly the whole time what she actually wanted. The only thing that went well in my early parenting journey was weaning, and that was because she demonstrated straight away that she wanted to feed herself and didn't want to be spoonfed and I just went with it. Now she eats like a champion and it was pretty much stress-free. All because I listened to her.

Don't try and be a particular type of mum. Just be a mum to YOUR BABY. They know what they want and need from you. And DON'T waste any more time feeling guilty. You are the absolute best mum your son could have. Nobody could do a better job. Nobody.

Yes! All 4 went from about 5-10 wake ups a night to 0 wake ups a night within 2 nights of moving them. Like some weird miracle.

Last night was terrible. I’m at breaking point tbh. He slept fine from 6.30-9.30ish, then 10-2.30 but then would only sleep if I held his hands to his chest (to stop him waking himself up by rubbing his eyes as he can’t be swaddled) and I was awake until 5.30. Eventually I got him to settle in bed next to me and DH had to sleep on the floor.

I’m going to find a way to put him in his own room tonight. It’s worth a try!

Oh gosh yes! My 2nd dc was still waking every 90 mins for a feed at 11 months. She would have been sharing a room with her older brother to we didn't want to disturb him so kept her in with us for longer than we anticipated however as I was heading back to work I needed to try and get more sleep. 3 nights in another room and she was sleeping through! She woke up earlier - in fact after about a year she regularly started to wake at 3am but that's a whole other story!

There's loads of vids on YouTube about sleeping, I cherry picked helpful tips that suited us

6:30 is very early to put a 6 month old down. Any reason its so early?

My 11 month old happily goes down at 6.30, sleeps till 7 or even later. Some babies just get so tired and ratty in the evening.

Nope. And getting up all night to breastfeed a baby back to sleep is a pain. I’d rather have him next to me so all I have to do is roll over! And he’s 15 months

Yes definitely. Give it a try.

Mine is asleep for the night at 6.30, we start bathtime at 5.30 and story at 6. It would be too early for some babies but we've figured out that's like the golden our for our DD

Mine went into her own room at 6 weeks. Whether she would have been a good sleeper without moving her, I will never know, but the first night I moved her she did 11.00 till 6.00 and was fab thereafter.

And 6.30 is not early. When dd was 6 mo after 6.30 was late.

It didn't make much difference to my 2. The good sleeper was still a good sleeper and the bad sleeper still a bad sleeper.

Yes, for DD2. DS and DD1went into their own rooms around six months as they were sleeping through. They were all breastfed, so I said I would keep them with me until they slept through.
At 10 months DD2 was still waking 3 or 4 times at night. I decided to move her, and within 2 days she slept through.
She’s a very light sleeper and we were disturbing her.

It’s early because he gets tired. It’s variable between 6.30 and 7.30 depending on when he has napped in the day (we have a very vague schedule but it really depends on what we’re doing and how long he wants to sleep for but he’s generally a very good napper nowadays). The fact that he’ll go down and sleep for several hours at 6.30/7/7.30 suggests to me taht he is ready for bed, but I might be entirely wrong. He pretty much sleeps all night to be fair, he’s just very unsettled. He doesn’t actually seem to be awake half the time he’s fussing.

Our DS was in his own room by 6 months. He was being disrupted by us coming up to bed so wouldn't sleep through. He was in a Moses basket and I just put the basket into his cot and then eventually moved his basket so he was in his cot. He sleeps right through. But every baby is different. If it feels like it's time, then it's worth a try

It would have been early for mine. They went down at about 9 which meant they slept later in the morning.

Worked for us!

Yes! Cause mine snored 😂

Mine did. I coslept with my first 2 until aged 2 years plus, partly because of space issues but also cosleeping/attatchment parenting. With number 3, it didn't occur to me to try sooner, I felt the same as you too that I'd be getting up constantly to bf. I did start to have an inkling that we were disturbing her sleep when she was about 12 months, because she'd wake when we came to bed/stirred etc rather than because she realised she was alone, and so I experimented with a travel cot in the box room, and sleep was much better. She was sleeping through within a month! Wish I'd had the space to try with my older ones in hindsight. Though I'm not sure I'd have been comfortable trying much before 1 year. Now a year later, if I try cosleeping on holiday/camping etc then she just will not settle, but will in a travel cot. Some babies prefer their space.

See, the thing is I bet you don't like exactly the same foods as your DH, right? And you probably don't sleep in the same position either?

But yet, we expect babies to be all the same and it's clearly madness!

DS could've been a poster child for BLW, but after co sleeping for ages, he was so much happier on his own in the cot and then in his own room (he was in the room with us until 12 months or longer as he stopped breathing as a freak accident!)