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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

IAVU

34 replies

Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 19:51

DP family doing meal for step mum, instead of arranging it with everyone, DP got told when it is and feels he has to attend knowingly we at wedding tonight booked for months, so can’t drink wants to leave at 10pm

I don’t see why DPcannot just say no rearrange something else for step mum? As he won’t enjoy himself as much tonight as was really looking forward to drinking dancing evening away! I wish he Day in future can I be involved and asked instead of being told that’s it!

Waiting to be ripped into! I think he needs to step up! He hasn’t seen friends in months! See family weekly, one time wedding!

OP posts:
Vulpine · 16/02/2019 19:52

Yanbu. Wedding comes first

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/02/2019 19:53

Ooh hard to follow, but I don’t think you are unreasonable - I think!

Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 19:54

I agree wedding comes first!

Step mum has birthday every year!
Apologies I ranted on!

OP posts:
Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 19:56

I think he should go to wedding g drink merrily and dance night away and take step mum out another day!

I can’t edit original post Confused

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/02/2019 19:56

When is it?

Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 19:59

Wedding tonight - not drinking and he wishes to leave latest 9pm (in loos at mo)

Step mum meal tomorrow at 12pm hour away! Won’t drink as be driving!

He wanted to stay until it finished and drink but isn’t enjoying it as much as he could - not seen mates in months! Last saw step mum last week!

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/02/2019 20:01

Aw yes that’s crap.

NerrSnerr · 16/02/2019 20:04

Wedding is tonight and you need to leave for the meal 11am tomorrow? Whoever's driving can still drink tonight as long as they don't get wasted. If he's concerned why not drink until 10pm and then stay at the wedding dancing? That gives 13 hours for the alcohol to leave their system.

SherlockSays · 16/02/2019 20:12

I don't see why it's a problem - you can go to the wedding tonight and the meal tomorrow?

No need for both of you to get so wasted you're over the limit but you can dance and stat late surely.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 20:16

Problem is he won’t enjoy wedding and we both want to drink, I won’t physically be able to go tomorrow. Due to illness but they don’t care whether I’m there or not ever!

It’s more they told DP rather than saying can you do this date?

Just feel hurt all the time!

OP posts:
PutyourtoponTrevor · 16/02/2019 20:20

You can go to a wedding and get drunk but you can't go to a family meal because of illness?

NerrSnerr · 16/02/2019 20:22

Do you really both need a full day off afterwards to enjoy a social occasion? Why are you able to attend the wedding but not the meal? That's not clear.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 16/02/2019 20:24

It’s more they told DP rather than saying can you do this date?

That’s life. It’s unfortunate you can’t make it, but you can’t expect people to check dates with every single guest before deciding. They’ll always be someone who can’t make it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/02/2019 20:26

Hold on - step mum meal tomorrow? I thought it was tonight as well as the wedding. Yabu. Just don’t overdrink tonight.

CloserIAm2Fine · 16/02/2019 20:33

How many people are going to the meal? They will all have other things going on, trying to organise something around everyone would be impossible.

Agree it’s odd you can go and get drunk at a wedding one day but are too ill to go to a meal another day. Unless you mean too hungover?

Go to the wedding, have a few drinks and enjoy the evening without getting wasted. Then go to the meal tomorrow. I’m really not seeing the problem!

Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 20:34

I won’t be drinking but can’t drive!
Got chronic fatigue I sit and won’t be dancing and can go to car and rest!

And plan was to stay in hotel for night to make it last!

OP posts:
hallamoo · 16/02/2019 20:40

Something doesn't add up. In an earlier post you said you both wanted to drink, and in your last post you said you aren't drinking because of chronic fatigue - which is it?

Of course you can both enjoy a wedding tonight and go for a meal tomorrow lunchtime.

Weirdest AIBU ever!

Wishiwasincornwall · 16/02/2019 20:48

So you can sit at a wedding party stone cold sober for multiple hours into the night while your DP is up drinking and dancing the night away untill he is so wasted he can't drive the next day, yet tomorrow you will not be able to sit at a table gently conversing with people for the time it takes to have a meal?

ThreeAnkleBiters · 16/02/2019 20:51

You'd already got plans so they can rearrange or he can't attend. If they only told you about it today it can hardly be a surprise that you guys can't make it.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 21:05

I wish my DP just day we can’t make it, and enjoy our time at wedding and at hotel, we don’t get out much.

DSM would be fine to be taken out another time and get spoilt again!

OP posts:
Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 21:06

@Wishiwasincornwall
It not as simple as that! CFS is light noise sensitive so tomorrow I be exhausted! And restaurant will be loud and noisy?

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Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 21:08

I would of had few drinks but DP not drinking so I cant! DP doesn’t like drinking alone, and knows I can’t drink much.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 16/02/2019 21:16

This makes no sense, if you want a drink have one. It's not up to your partner if you have a drink and he doesn't. It's utterly bizarre that he won't have a couple of pints because he has to drive at 11am tomorrow.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 16/02/2019 21:23

I think it due to DP Being a cabbie worried if he slightly over limit his life be taken away!

OP posts:
Ohtherewearethen · 16/02/2019 23:09

My head hurts trying to follow this and work it all out.